I am not sure whether I’m being completely naïve in saying that a COG member and a non-COG member (and I’m counting the WCG among them) can actually be friends? I’ve been thinking about that since I received an email from Mr. Kobernat yesterday. More on that in moment. For now —
The COGs define reality in a certain way. They say that Germany is going to rise again; they say that they are going to be God as God is God; they say Christians are required to keep the Sabbath. All these things, while not necessarily originally, are in an original combination. Original packaging, you might say. It places them in the cognitive minority, as I’ve stated so many times in this damn journal. One of the things their worldview has to do is to account for that very fact — if this is the “Bible interpreting the Bible” and it’s all so clear to them, why isn’t it clear to everyone? Why can’t they go to their neighbor, explain the doctrines, show the scriptural backing, and then watch as the neighbor, now fully convinced, picks up the phone to call the local COG minister? That’s something the worldview must explain. “God’s calling” and “worldwide deception” are two ways of doing it — or rather, two sides of the same method. So their unique packaging requires a unique grouping. Yet another way to reach the necessity for plausibility.
My naivety further comes from the thought of my parents and the Kobernats now trying to get together. Imagine the K’s head up north for whatever reason, and as a gesture of good will invite my parents out to dinner. What are they going to talk about now? If they talk theology, it will descend into argument. If they talk about church life, that will certainly lead to a discussion of theology. In my open letter I wrote that the only thing that we shared in common was an assumed mutual belief. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure that anyone ever pretended anything else. It’s not that the Kobernats sought out new friends coming into the Kingsport area and my parents are the ones they happened to find. They were moved there by the organization that defined this unique package of beliefs, which in turn necessitated the creation of a sort of mini-ghetto.
In other words, the WCG brought them together, so that was the first and strongest aspect of their friendship. Now that that’s gone, what the hell would they have to talk about? Grandchildren? My parents, much to Mom’s dismay I’m sure, are not grandparents — a no-go there. World events? Mr. Kobernat sees these world events as fulfillments of prophecy, while Dad doesn’t (I’m assuming). Sports? Dad doesn’t care much for sports, and I don’t think Mr. K. does in and of themselves either. What does that leave them to talk about.
Now, about Mr. K’s response:
Hi Gary, I did respond. To your hotmail address. Didn’t you receive it? It didn’t come back to me making me think it went through. Which address do you like best. I will respond to your answers to my questions as soon as we are sure we are connected.
My first reaction was, “Oh shit — what have I done?!?” I thought I’d jumped to conclusions that were certainly unwarranted. But further thought has made me realize a few things, things which I would like to clear up with him as well.
To begin with, I’m worried that I now appear to be somewhat quick to judge, as if I fired this letter off as a result of one unanswered email. If that were the case, then I certainly would be justly labeled a hot-head. However, this is not an isolated incident. I’ve sent many emails that have gone unheeded, and as my journal shows, it dates back to at least October 1999. That’s almost two and a half years ago. Further, Mr. Kobernat was not the only one not to respond. I sent Brett several emails at one point (though I can’t provide documentation regarding the specific date) and never got so much as a “Howdy” in return. I’d mentioned this to my folks, and they said that they’d had messages go unreturned. Add to this the fact that they went to the Kingsport area several times without even calling my parents.
It seems to me that the chances of all those emails not making it through, and of not a single response back not making it through are slim indeed. Lost email is the exception, not the rule, so even if two or three did get lost, certainly he would have received a few. And of those few, if he’d responded, certainly one or two would have fallen through.
He doesn’t seem like the type of person to lie — I know him well enough to know that he is sincere in his beliefs and wouldn’t consciously go against them. Yet I find it hard to explain his lack of contact any other way than by saying that he simply didn’t respond.
I guess I’ll just have to write some kind of careful reply saying all this. I do, however, stand by the contents of most of the letter. Even if it’s not true in this particular case, it is true in a number of cases. Though as I’ve pointed out, that seems to me now to be somewhat inevitable.
Despite all this — damn, I feel stupid. I emailed my folks asking them what to do. I chatted with Chhavi (via MSN) asking her what to do. And I even talked to Mamo about it. “You didn’t kill anyone,” was her response, “So it can’t be that bad.”