“There’s no good sandwich meat in America!”

Dziadek has stated several times. And that’s critical, for sandwich meat — cold cuts, in other words — is a cornerstone of the Polish diet.

What else are you going to eat for breakfast?

Nothing fills you up for the day like, say, a head cheese (which, for the uninitiated, is pretty much what it sounds like) sandwich with a cup of hot tea.

What are we left to do? Dziadek decided there’s only one solution: make our own cold cuts — which requires a smoker. Which requires a cinder block foundation and a 55-gallon drum. Yes, we’re going high class.

Yesterday, we dug out the foundation, mortared the cinder blocks together, began making the necessary modifications to the drum, cut down a dead oak, and went to Home Depot at least half a dozen times.

Today, we build the fire pit and attach the drum to the base. And eventually paint it.

Aesthetic concerns aside (how much does that privacy fence cost again?), I’m looking forward to having homemade ham.