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Logic to the 14th Power

“But Mr. S, you don’t understand!”

Obviously I don’t.

I don’t understand how something someone — a virtual stranger — says about you can be so meaningful that you’re ready to battle the person in the eighth-grade hallway. I don’t understand how so many kids today have so little control over their emotions and seem to have no idea how to deal with troubling emotions. I don’t understand how a kid can be willing physically to hurt someone or to get hurt himself because someone spread meaningless gossip about him.

“But Mr. S, you don’t understand!”

Obviously I don’t.

Perspective

Two stories from our home state of South Carolina tonight. One, a story of a complete lack of self-control and the brutal consequences for one toddler:

A Columbia woman has been arrested after a 2-year-old boy in her care died last weekend.

Police said Thursday that 34-year-old Margie Hamm had been charged with homicide by child abuse.

Authorities say Hamm slammed the boy’s head into a bathtub faucet while she was babysitting him May 18. (Source)

It’s hard not to be depressed about humanity and enraged about this woman’s evil impulsive behavior at the same time. It’s hard to live in a world where solders walking down the street in their home town get attacked and beheaded, where little children have their skulls crushed against the hunks of metal, where various and sundry evils surround us, and not be depressed about the state of humanity.

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Then there’s the other story in South Carolina: in Greenville this evening, sixty-four eighth graders and high school seniors received ACE (Advocates for Character and Education) Awards, which are intended to be recognition for “students who do amazing things in their schools and communities but are not necessarily recognized for their efforts and achievements.” These are kids who help the elderly and homeless, who stand up to bullies in their schools, who say to peers “this is wrong” and set a better example. These are kids who make a difference, some of whom have more courage at their age than I still have at my age.

I was honored to receive an invitation from M, one of my own students, a young lady who represented our school at the awards and who has consistently show maturity beyond her years in my classroom. She received one extra ticket to give to someone outside her family, and she gave it to me. K and I were planning on going to a Carolina Chocolate Drops concert tonight, but when I received the ticket last week and realized the significance of her decision, there was no way I could go to some silly concert.

So knowing that there are kids like M in the world makes it a little easier to live in world filled with Margie Hamms, Michael Abdebolajos, and similar ilk.

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An unconnected series of photos of the evening.

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Perhaps we could search for a theme, like “growth.”

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Then again, that’s a catch-all theme when you have a six-year-old and a twelve-month-old.

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Growth is every day.

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Blooms happen regularly.

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Winds

What a capricious character, the wind. We depend on it for pollination, sustaining rain, and a million other things. Yet the tragedy in Oklahoma reminds us that it’s like most things: in excess, devilish.

While I’ve fortunately never experienced a tornado or hurricane, I’ve had some odd experiences in Poland with the wind, specifically the halny wind of southern Poland. A foehn wind, the halny is legendary for its effects on behavior. Depression sets in and there’s supposedly a noticeable increase in the suicide rate.

My own experience wasn’t nearly so traumatic, but it did lead to the absolute worse bout of insomnia I’ve ever suffered. For about four nights, I found it almost impossible to sleep. Nothing helped. Every morning was a trial, and every afternoon I was convinced that I would finally fall fast asleep that evening, but I lay awake night after night, feeling ever more powerless and waking with a worse headache than the day before.

In that sense, I’m blessed: the worst wind has ever done to me is keep me up almost all night. Nothing like this song, or the tragedy in Oklahoma. Blessed or lucky. Or both.

Choices

Like so many accidents, the sinking of the Titanic was the result of decisions based on an unqualified, unmerited hubris. A string of choices, some seemingly small at the moment, led to the moment when ice was falling onto the fo’c’sle as the berg carved the gash into the bow of the ship that doomed it.

As part of the district-mandated fourth-quarter “choices” thematic unit for eighth grade, I’m having students read a passage from an article at the Titanic Historical Society that describes the decisions of the captain and crew that led to that most famous of disasters. An initial step was to have students read the passage and circle any passages that describe a choice being made.

I thought this was a fairly simple, fairly obvious task for reading, and that’s critical: as students are reading, they need to have some secondary, text-related task to keep track of to help keep interest and provide a purpose for reading. But to see others’ choices, you first have to be able to see your own. You have to be aware of the choices you make on a daily — indeed, hourly — basis; you need to see the choices of those around you and understand they are just that: choices.

What happens when a room filled with fatalistic students reads such a text? They simply can’t see choices anywhere. The read something like this and see no choice:

At 1:40 pm the [wireless] operators’ working routine was disturbed by an incoming message from the White Star liner Baltic: “Captain Smith, Titanic. Have had moderate variable winds and clear fine weather since leaving. Greek steamer Athinai reports passing icebergs and large quantities of field ice today in latitude 41.51 N. longitude 49.11 W…Wish you and Titanic all success. Commander.” This particular message was handed directly to Captain Smith, who, instead of posting it in the chart room, gave it to Bruce Ismay who casually put it in his pocket. Later in the day Smith asked for it back.

Two clear choices there: the captain chose not to put the message in the chart room, presumably where it belonged, and Ismay chose, upon receiving the message from the captain, to put the it in his pocket.

Almost no one saw the choice.

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Later, we read the following:

From the German steamer Amerika wireless operator Otto Reuter sent at 1:45 PM: “Amerika passed two large icebergs in 41 degrees 27′ N., 50 degrees 8′ W., on the 14th April.”

Previous messages had been promptly delivered to the bridge but this one never got there. Titanic’s wireless unexpectedly went dead and Phillips, busy trouble shooting, shoved aside probably the most critical ice warning.

Another choice, to brush this message aside. And no one saw it.

These are kids who say “what will be, will be.” These are kids who get in trouble and can’t see what choices led to that trouble. These are kids who see themselves as victims. They don’t see choices in front of them; they see a string of inevitabilities behind them.

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What did some of them indicate as a choice? This passage:

The night was crystal clear; there was no moon and the sky was filled with stars. The sea looked as smooth as plate glass, paradoxically, a disadvantage for the lookouts. Without waves breaking around an iceberg’s base leaving a wake, it would be hard to spot without reflective moonlight, especially if a berg was showing its dark side.

Kids surrounded by choices and see only inevitabilities.

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I wondered about their fatalism this evening as I finished up the Leyland cypress trimming. As I moved a ladder, a dove fluttered from the tree, and I realize there must be a nest near my ladder. I’d seen the birds around the trees several times, and I suppose I’d assumed there was a nest, but I’d never investigated. Yet a few minutes of very intentional investigation revealed the nest and a bit of trimmed twig on the baby bird.

How much of that was choice and how much of that was accident, fate? That the twig landed the bird was accidental; that the twig was small enough to leave the bird uninjured was accidental; that I trimmed knowing there might be a nest in the vicinity was a choice, though not entirely conscious.

Had I, in a moment of cruelty, reached my hand down and tipped the bird from the nest, that too would have been a choice. A sadistic, even evil choice. Would the students have seen it as such? It seems impossible to imagine them not seeing the element of decision in that. But then again, it seemed impossible for them not to see the element of choice in all the Titanic’s crew’s actions as well.

How do you teach children to see choice in an arbitrary text when they see no choice in their own lives? How can you not feel a tinge of worry and even dismay when you think about the future of such children?

Sunday Afternoon

Friends to play with, a couch to cuddle and tumble on, a date with my wife downtown, a glimpse of the start of two lives merged, a crooked gate that’s still hanging on, Falls Park…

These are the ingredients to a perfect Sunday afternoon.

[He] Climbs a Tree and Scrapes [His] Knee

My shorts have tears, and my knees aren’t the only thing scraped. It’s always the same story when I take on the Leyland Cypress trees that provide lovely and complete privacy at our balcony. Privacy that comes with a cost, for just trimming three trees is more than an afternoon affair.

Every few years, though, I decide that enough is enough, that it’s time to teach these trees a lesson they’ll never forget. To strip them almost bald. To take a couple of feet off the side and four off the top.

And that’s no easy task, because these things have trunks that are inches — multiple inches — in diameter. And I’m standing on a ladder that’s balanced on some limbs that I’ve crushed into semi-submission, standing on this ladder and jerking my arm back and forth and back and forth. The whole tree sways; the whole ladder sways. Back and forth and back and forth. I think about a chain saw. I think again. Back and forth.

Finally, I’m through. I take the freshly removed log, steady myself, and toss it over the side. I hear the crunch of busted plastic. “Hum, there was that white plastic deck chair somewhere near the tree,” I think. “Near the tree, but not that near.

But it wasn’t the deck chair. It was the spool I use to store the ridiculously long drop cord I have to use for such adventures. There is a tolerance of perhaps two inches — it fit perfectly.

How many times would I have had to chuck a log from a ladder blindly over a tree to hit that again?

End of Year Bash

Silly string, rock climbing, swinging, and general six-year-old chaos. Bethel Bash!

Toddler Cure

When you have a toddler in the house, you have to let go of some of those little OCD ticks, like making sure all the books are neatly arranged on the shelves.

Big Sister

There’s a certain point, I think, when an older sister becomes a big sister. It might be soon after the birth of little brother; it might take a few years. Really, it all depends on the age of the sister, I think.

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But at some point, sooner or later, older sisters begin taking on themselves some of the responsibilities of looking after little brother. It might begin with playtime: “L, keep E in your room for a while as I start getting dinner ready” might be a first step.

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That’s a relatively easy step. Big sister can half do her own thing, half entertain the Boy. The fact that they’re in her room adds a degree of security: she certainly won’t let E get into all that much because he has a tendency to mess things up.

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The real transition comes when big sister begins fulfilling some of the lower needs on Maslow’s hierarchy.

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These are the responsibilities that aren’t just fun. They’re not low-engagement responsibilities.

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And when the older sister begins taking on those kinds of little jobs, we say, “Welcome, Big Sister! We’ve been waiting for you!”