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Three

Today, you turn three. You hold up your fingers, struggling to hold down the thumb and pinkie, and tell me — show me — that you’re three.

In the morning, we celebrate your threeness with activities arranged into trinities: three hugs, three kisses, three tickles. As we head to the kitchen, you decide you want three jumps, so I stand at the base of our small staircase and catch you three times as you leap, in complete trust, three times into my arms. We go back to your room and you want three pushes: I sit on your rug and you gradually, with steady pressure, push me over, landing on me with giggles.

For three years now, we’ve been three. While it’s hard to accept that it was three years ago that you rushed into the world after only an hour of your mother’s labor, it’s equally difficult to accept that it’s only been three years. It seems like so much longer. This is undoubtedly due, in large measure, to the simple fact that you’ve developed more — cognitively and physically — in these three years than you’ll ever develop in your life. You’ve learned to talk, walk, run, dance, tickle, fix chocolate milk, sort things by color, chose your own clothes, put on your jacket, and a million other things that you will take for granted in the future but are in fact life changing advances. you have, in short, become more independent.

In the beginning, there was dependence. You could do nothing for yourself except burp and mess in your shockingly small diaper.

Father and Daughter

Each year, you’ve grown more independent, and more stubborn.

Trying

You’ve gone from having things done for you to insisting on doing everything for yourself. Insisting to the point of utter frustration at times.

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And now, we celebrate your completion of three years. You’re starting your fourth year with us.

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We bring you a small cake — Babcia’s work — and clap as you blow out the candle. Your first year, we did it for you.

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Your first birthday’s presents were of a simple kind: they made noise, or flashed, or rattled. We unwrapped the presents for you and showed you how they work.

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Now, you unwrap your own presents and excitedly examine them.

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We still help you, though. It will be that way for a very long time. Hopefully, a very, very long time. You’ll understand that desire when you have children of your own.

Babcia’s Arrival

Going to the airport for an international arrival is a game of waiting.

We stood at the end of a long corridor and wait as the passengers trickle out, one by one, two by two, a group here and a group there. With three simultaneous international arrivals, it makes for a long process.

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We saw several lovely reunions as we anticipate our own. An uncle arrived from Italy to a niece and nephew running to him full speed. A father returned to a mother and smiling baby. A sister came from German for a visit.

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Finally, it was our turn. L ran to meet Babcia, who scooped her up and gave her a long hug.

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K joined them for a three-generation, all-mother-daughter group hug. It caught the attention of others, just as earlier reunions brought smiles to our face,

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More hugs followed.

Now L just has to start speaking Polish…

Balance

Photo by wili_hybrid (Flickr)

Photo by wili_hybrid (Flickr)

“Shhh! There’s a monster in there!” says L as we walk toward her room. She’s at that age where she sees monsters, tigers, and bears everywhere. A “smoky, smoky dragon” is a common visitor at night, and right after a bath, an alligator — simply named Alligator — comes looking for her as she hides under her big bath towel. Saturday mornings she likes to jump in our bed (even if it’s made up — she’ll willingly unmake it) and hide under the covers.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh!” she’ll proclaim. “Monster’s coming!”

I play along sometimes, but it creates a problem: she gets genuinely scared sometimes, and it’s because there’s an alligator under her bed or a dragon right over there, in the corner. I reassure here that there’s no such thing is monsters, but it’s difficult to do if I’ve just been playing along with her imagination earlier in the evening.

It’s difficult to balance her developing imagination with her developing fear.

Will she learn there’s no such thing as dragons before she learns Santa doesn’t exist? I’m helping create both illusions, feeling slight pangs of guilt about it, and wondering if it’s all avoidable.

Warsaw Winter

Hungary had its 1956 uprising, when it appeared that the Soviet satellite might gain its independence. The USSR moved in and reasserted control by force.

Prague had its Spring: reforms and liberalizations in 1968 by the puppet Communist regime that eventually warranted a full scale invasion by the Soviets to settle things down.

Poland never experienced such a “corrective” invasion, though there was always the thought that the Soviets might have invaded had Jaruzelski not imposed martial law on December 13, 1981. Lech Wałęsa’s Solidarity party was gaining too much influence and there was concern that unrest might spread throughout the nation.

The conventional Polish wisdom (as I understood it) has been that Jaruzelski imposed martial law in a bid to preempt a Soviet invasion. Antoni Dudek, a Polish history professor, has published on his blog contents of a note Jaruzelski said to Viktor Kulikov, a Soviet general,

Będzie gorzej, jeżli wyjdÄ… z zakładów pracy i zacznÄ… dewastować komitety partyjne, organizować demonstracje uliczne itd. Gdyby to miało ogarnąć cały kraj, to wy (ZSRR) bÄ™dziecie nam musieli pomóc. Sami nie damy sobie rady”.

It will be worse if [the protests] spread from the workshops begin devastating the party committee, organizing street protests, etc. If it were to spread throughout the country, you (the USSR) would have to help us. We couldn’t manage it alone.

And so the possibility for a Polish Winter to match the Prague Spring was very real.

WałÄ™sa, in the meantime, has suggested that Jaruzelski might be brought up on charges of treason. Dudek admitted that while WałÄ™sa usually likes “strong words,” these words might indeed be “adequate.”

Jaruzelski of course denies all of this. Words were taken out of context. Shades of meaning have been applied that were not intended. It seems to be just the beginning, and given the generally closed nature of the Polish archives (compared to the open archives of the former East German government), it seems a resolution is distant, if not impossible.

Dudek’s blog is available here. The Onet story includes information about WałÄ™sa’s reaction. Hat tip to the beatroot.

14-year-old Poetry

People write about what they know. One of the prime motivations of confessional poetry was that we theoretically know more about ourselves than about anything else.

When you ask a group of thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds to write poetry, there is one guarantee: the boys will write about video games. In one portfolio of ten poems, one young man wrote two poems about games (including a haiku about “Call of Duty 5”), two poems about sports (one about playing, the other about watching), and one about hunting.

I mentioned this to a colleague this afternoon. She thought for a moment, then made a suggestion: “Next year you could tell them that each poem had to be about a different topic.”

“Then they’d simply say, ‘Well, they’re two different games, so that’s technically two different topics.'”

A Book and the News

imagesProtests in Iran and ironically enough, I’m reading Azar Nafisi’s Reading Lolita in Tehran (Amazon).

Nafisi was forced out of her teaching position at the University of Tehran in the early eighties when she refused to comply with the required veiling. Perhaps that refusal was inevitable, and perhaps the personality that sparked the refusal also made the memoir inevitable.

Nafisi writes of living others’ dreams, and that the revolution of 1979 was just that: Ayatollah Khomeini was recreating the Iran of his youthful dreams. Dreams for some, nightmares for others.

We’re all wondering whether Iranians will force themselves to emerge from the nightmare. Reading Nafisi and today’s headlines gives me hope to believe that there are enough independently minded Iranians that a new revolution is possible, that armed conflict over Iran’s nuclear program is not inevitable.

Before and After

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We still have pictures a hang, a television to buy, and a few final touches, but the living room, by and large, is done.

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Memorex

L has an absolutely astounding memory. She can “read” many, many books — at least fifteen, I would say — from memory. She turns the page and quotes almost verbatim the text on the page.

And she corrects me.

“‘That’s what you said yesterday,’ shouted elephant,” I read from one of L’s favorite books, Goose Goofs Off.

“No, Tata! Elephant snorted!” comes the reply.

Emptiness

Emptiness inspires dancing — the echo of footsteps is always impressive.

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With the sofa and love seat sold and the remaining furniture stowed throughout the house, we now have a ballroom.

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Conversely, the acoustics inspired music making, with L taking the lead.

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