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Columbia Zoo

Being at a zoo can teach one many things.

It can show you how close we are to the great apes. This great gorilla sat watching us as much as we watched him. His eyes darted from face to face, and occasionally he would furrow his brow. Proof of thought? Certainly not. It was humbling to look at him, though, thinking how closely related we are. Granted, we’re more closely related to chimps, genetically speaking, but I looked at the gorilla and saw shadows of us.

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It was not so clear who was watching whom.

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The elephants have better things to do. They’re more concerned with covering themselves with dust and looking old and wise.

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The alligators were looking sly, as if they knew how long they’d survived. “We walked with the dinosaurs,” they seem to say. “We’ll wait you out.”

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The goats, of course, were hungry. There’s not much to learn from goats, except how to deal with trolls under bridges.

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Trains come without tracks — the definition of “train” has become very flexible in the twenty-first century, but a ride on one is just as fun.

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“Helmets are for bicycles,” declares the Girl.

“And for pony rides,” K explains patiently.

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And pony rides are for those who are big enough to venture out on their own, sort of.

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In many ways, giraffe rides are more fun: they last longer, anyway. And they do a more thorough job of getting one dizzy.

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Some birds, growing so accustomed to regular feeding from visitors, take matters into their own claws.

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And it’s only with deliberate effort that visitors keep the greedy beasts from ripping the feeding cup out of one’s hand.

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Feeding birds is a great way to make friends and giggle constantly.

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Birds will hang upside down to get food.

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Zookeepers can take the grizzly out of the wild but, well, you know the rest of the cliche.

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A quick swim when we got back to the hotel and everyone was ready for bed.

Tomorrow: a trip to Angel Oak, the oldest living thing this side of the Rockies (reportedly a 1,600 year old tree), then the final destination: Edisto Island.

From here on out, internet access is a big question mark. And that’s a good thing — we’re on vacation!

Tower II

Tower

The tower at Furman.

Furman Bluegrass

Last night we returned to Furman University to watch another free, outdoor (and mosquito-free) concert. Bluegrass this time, with a band from Athens, Georgia. True, a bluegrass band from Georgia sounds about like a funk band from the Lower East Side, but they did a commendable job.

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I wanted to get a shot of the band, but it was dark and they were performers. By this, I mean they didn’t come out and simply play their songs. They performed: facial communication with the audience and each other; exaggerated motions while playing; dancing; whooping and hollering — sort of like one could imagine Madonna doing if she ever sang bluegrass. She wouldn’t stand at the mike and simply sing: she’d have to turn the show into a show about the music and the performer. I guess that’s what performing means. It always struck me as false: appearing to look like the musician is more into the music than he or she really is. And so each and every shot I took of the band was blurry: I was far away and they were wiggling and goofing too much.

We sat on blankets and I tried to explain the difference between country and bluegrass to some Polish friends. I was tempted to say, “Well, bluegrass takes talent; contemporary country doesn’t,” but that might be a little too judgmental of a genre that was quite fine in Hank Williams day but seems somehow to have lost its way. I made an attempt: Bluegrass is always acoustic. There’s an emphasis on the virtuosity of the players. The tempo of most songs is very quick. There’s almost always at least two-part harmony, with a high tenor harmony that can be, at times, quite dissonant. There is almost always a folk element, which is more pronounced in traditional bluegrass but still evident in its progressive forms. Some of the songs can be traced back to old fiddle songs; many old fiddle songs are showcased outright.

I grew up with bluegrass in the background. It was never a strong part of my life, but it was there, around the edges. After all, I grew up in Bristol, Virginia, which is where the Stanley Brothers made it big on the “Farm and Fun Time” show, after having been a hit in Norton, Virginia, in the heart of Southwest Virginia’s coal company. They played on WCYB radio, which is now WZAP; I grew up watcing WCYB television, channel five. That is to say, Bristol is a significant historical marker for bluegrass, and so it was always sort of around, if not literally then culturally.

My literal exposure was due mainly to my friend (I’ll call him Joseph) and his grandfather (I’ll call him Edward). Edward never really taught me; he never really advised me; he just played, with his wife occasionally wandering into the living room and adding harmony as he sang. I could watch his fingers and follow along with relative ease: bluegrass is one of those “three-chords and the truth” genres, and those three chords are often G-C-D. It was deceptive, making me unappreciative of the beauty of the music. Listening to Pink Floyd and old Genesis, I was convinced “good” music was long and complex.

He passed away just a few years ago. I was in Poland, making it impossible for me to come back for the funeral. I would have liked to have been there, for Joseph at the very least.

The last time I saw Joseph was the summer of 1998. I’d finished my requisite two years in the Peace Corps and was back in the States for the summer before returning for my extension year. He was in jail, convicted of break and entering. I happened to be in town on a Sunday, which was one of the visiting days. I picked up a couple of packs of Marlboros for him and headed to the county detention center.

No one announced my name when they told Joseph he had a visitor. “Well, shit!” he exclaimed when he saw me. “You were the last one I expected to see here.” He seemed a little embarrassed. There was a heaviness to the visit as the question that hung in the air but which I never asked: “What the hell are you doing in here?” Saturday nights of staying up to ridiculous hours playing “Super Mario Brothers” and some fight game with Mike Tyson on Nintendo, drinking Mountain Dew and listening to everything from INXS to Kentucky Head Hunters seemed to dissolve into the mesh of metal that separated us.

We stayed in touch for a couple of years after that. I finished up my first adventure in Poland and headed to Boston for grad school, exchanging monthly letters with Joseph the whole time. He’s a year older than I, but writing to him, I felt like the big brother.

I would have certainly seen him at Edward’s funeral if I’d gone. My parents said he seemed devastated.

Had I seen Joseph at the funeral, I would have asked him what the family planned to do with Edward’s guitar, an anniversary-edition Martin that seemed to play itself. “Keep it in tune,” I would have said. “Play it for your children. Teach them how to play and pass the guitar and music on.”

That’s the only way bluegrass has survived. It’s a niche market, and because of the virtuosity it requires, not everyone can simply decide in his or her mid-twenties, “I want to be a bluegrass star,” if there really be such a thing these days. No, most bluegrass players have been playing since first or second grade.

It’s true: there are university music departments now trying to preserve and teach the music, but it’s not the same. It’s admirable, and it’s what we need, but bluegrass has never been academic. It’s never been about book learning. (Edward couldn’t read music; he read — and wrote — shape notes.) It’s been about grandfathers, daughters, and grandsons singing together around a wood stove in the winter.

Lions, Poles, and Japs! Oh My!

Several of my Polish friends spoke of having to re-learn some elements of history after the fall of Communism in the late 1980s. History (as well as art, music, the social sciences, and even the physical sciences) was dominated by ideology. Because Communism represented the pinnacle of human achievement, something “the masses” for centuries had been working for, it could not be wrong. It had become a religion, in that sense. And so the mistakes and crimes of the Soviet government were recast as wise planning that had been necessary; the achievements of capitalist countries (read: America and Western Europe) were due solely to capitalists’ deviousness, usually stealing the ideas from the honorable Socialists.

With the fall of the Soviet empire, it seemed that such nonsense would never happen again. Yes, well, it has. As Putin seeks to rebuild Russian strength, he’s turning to nationalism, stoking a pride in the achievements of Soviet Russia. This means recasting a few, unpleasant episodes in Soviet history. No worries, though: “We’ve done it before,” Russian media services must be thinking. “We can do it again.” And so youngsters in Russia will be learning “history” that’s a little different from, well, reality.

A few highlights:

  • The Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact was not an agreement with Nazi Germany to split Poland between the two of them. It was a defensive move, for Poland and Japan were planning a two-pronged attack on the Soviet Union. (Source)
  • World War II began when Germany attacked Russia in June 1941. The rape of Poland that began almost two years earlier was a defensive move, remember? (Source)
  • Stalin’s purges and mass murders were entirely rational and logical — for the good of the country. (Source)

The bottom line: Stalin is a hero who was defending the country from malicious outside influence and outright Polish/German aggression.

The temptation is to mutter something about this never happening in America, but of course it does. The whole premise behind Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States (Amazon) is just that. It’s a play on the maxim, “history is written by the winners,” which means the losers are misrepresented and underrepresented.

A few highlights:

  • America was founded as a Christian nation.
  • The rise of American power has always been a benign influence on the world.
  • American foreign policy has always been a beacon of reason and justice; America respects democracy worldwide.

Not all of these myths are taught or were taught in school, but they are spread evenly enough in our collective conscious (and conscience, possibly) that they might as well have been. And, to be fair to America, the notion that America was founded as a Christian nation is not all that morally repulsive (it only becomes so when one sees that believe in action); the notion that Stalin’s purges were ethically justifiable is completely morally repulsive.

But there is a level playing field now: thank God for the Internet, that beacon of tried and true information. It will surely save Russians and Americans alike from the national myths.

Source: the beatroot

Times Three

Self-adjusting clocks are a clockmaker’s dream. Nowadays, we have clocks set by the Internet and via satellite. We have three such clocks: two of them stand-alone clocks; one of them our computer.

Photos of those clocks taken within a minute or two of each other:

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Three clocks, “automatically” set; three times.

I checked the time zone setting on the computer and had it update the time. No change.

Any ideas?

No Child Left Behind: The Football Version

Many educators are not fond of the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) legislation, which Obama doesn’t seem intent on scraping. I suppose education is never the priority politicians claim it is, though to be fair, neither candidate made much of education in 2008.

Some outside of education are confused as to why a teacher would oppose NCLB. They see it as an unwillingness to be held accountable for what happens in the classroom. Or even a fear of accountability. This is deeply inaccurate, at least in my case.  I (and many others) oppose NCLB because of how it (claims) to hold teachers accountable.

One effective way of illustrating some of the absurdities of NCLB is to apply it to sports. I’d seen this online a time or two, but a professor posted this for us in class the other day and it made me realize anew how skewed some people’s perception of NCLB actually is. So here’s the scenario: football is run according to guidelines similar to NCLB:

The regulations:

  1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship.
  2. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
  3. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities.
  4. All kids will play football at a proficient level.
  5. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction.
  6. Coaches will use all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don’t like football.
  7. All coaches will be proficient in all aspects of football, or they will be released.
  8. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th and 11th games.

This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.

The fact is, children in the same grade start at different places intellectually, emotionally, and socially.

What’s worse, NCLB is a moving target. Every school must achieve “Adequate Yearly Progress.” If you fail to make that progress, you have to make up all that ground and then some for the next year. Another sports analogy (this time, my own) might make it clearer:

Let’s say to make the football team, you have to run the 40 yard dash in 5.5 seconds. You fail to make it by one tenth of a second. You work out. Finally, you reach 5.5 seconds and come back to try again. The coach now tells you that now you have to run the 40 yard dash in 5.4 seconds. You can’t do it, so you go back and work out some more. When you can sprint it in 5.4 seconds, you go back to the coach, who informs you that now the bar has been moved to 5.25 seconds.

Or, as someone else put it:

The annual measurement bar is a moving target and once missed it is like chasing after a train pulling out of the depot year after year. Of course then it becomes the fault of the instructors, and not the curriculum , or the administration, or heaven forbid the students themselves. (Source)

Accountability is good; poorly-thought-out accountability can only be harmful.

Love Hate

L and Bida, our cat, have an uneasy relationship. Or maybe it’s a love-hate relationship: L loves, Bida hates.

That might be taking it a bit too far. When Bida is in the mood, a scratch under the neck will bring a quiet purr no matter who’s doing the scratching. Yet sensing that mood is difficult for adults; it’s all but impossible for L. And so, in the name of love, L simply tortures the cat most of the time.

“I’m helping Bida. She’s sick.”

The trouble is, her “love” often is not affectionate; her “help” doesn’t assist in any way whatsoever. L’s simply trying out language and ideas she hears and sees all around her without fully understanding what it means (in the case of “help”) or how to show it (in the case of “love”). The result: a frustrated cat and a scratched little Girl.

At the same time, it’s incredible the patience Bida can sometimes show our budding veterinarian. She has figured out, I think, that if she waits just a moment, K or I will come and rescue her. And if push comes to shove (and L, in her rambunctiousness, can push and shove sometimes), Bida knows how to use her claws. And one would think that two or three painful, deep scratches would teach L to keep her distance, but to date, it hasn’t.

So K and I try to save the two smallest members of our household from each other on a regular basis.

Notes on a Chipmunk

I’m not sure why cats feel they must lovingly share their kill with their owners, but I should focus on the “lovingly share” part and appreciate the generosity. When that sharing involves bringing the kill through the cat door, it’s a little more difficult to focus on the “lovingly share” part. But when that “kill” is not yet dead and scampers away as soon as it’s limp, dangling paws hit the floor, the apprecation is only a vague, theoretical possibility.

We had chipmunks in the basement on a regular basis for a couple of weeks. The big question: where do they live while they’re stuck down there?

During the workshop-redesign-and-rebuild-preparatory cleanup yesterday, the answer was made manifest: in the carpet padding we’d stored under the work bench.

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Jazz at Furman

Furman University, a private college just north of Greenville and home of the quasi-famous bell tower by the lake, has a summer concert series we’ve just discovered. It’s not Boston Pops on the Esplanade, but for a college of less than 3,000 undergrads, it’s an impressive schedule.

The Tower

Last night, we went for the jazz program.

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We’ve become increasingly fascinated with jazz over the last few years, so L hears quite a fair amount of it at home and in the car. It’s never among her requests — she’s particularly fascinated with Counting Crows’ music — but she does listen and bob her head about occasionally.

Performers

Last night, she simply danced. A little. Generally, she was having more fun throwing Baby down the little embankment where we’d spread our blanket, running to get it, and repeating.

Dancing GIrl

She did calm down for the ballads.

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Igor Stravinsky said, “My music is best understood by children and animals.” L seems to understand music on some very primal level: it makes her want either to jump about or to sit calmly. It’s rarely merely “there.” It almost always provokes some kind of reaction.

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In an informal atmosphere such as this, that’s just about perfect. Space to dance, an informal mood that doesn’t require silence, well-performed music — what could could a two-and-a-half year old want?

Dry

Six mornings in a row the Girl has had a completely dry diaper. We attribute this to four nights of waking up around midnight, hearing L crying out for the potty.

The new ritual is well established now. I stumble to the guest bathroom for the potty chair as quickly as I can while half asleep: I don’t want L to wake up any more than she has to. The real adventure begins in her room, for she’s often still partially or completely asleep. And she can fall back asleep at several points in the process. She has dozed off while

  • I take her out of the crib;
  • I lean her against me to take off her diaper;
  • she sits on the potty;
  • I put her diaper back on; and,
  • I put her back in the crib.

One night last week, she drifted off during four out of those five times.

“It’s time to start planning the final step of potty training,” I say to K over breakfast. There are the obvious things: a switch to training pants; a re-make of the crib; several nights of helping L get out of the bed and trundle off to the potty. There is an enormous potential pitfall, too, and a very literal one at that: our guest bathroom is just at the top of a short flight of stairs down to the kitchen.

Now that all the gates and barriers in the house are long gone, it’s time to start thinking about putting up new ones, which is sort of what parenting is all about: creating boundaries that (ideally) keep little hands safe but not restricted. Those gates will soon be much less literal, though.