“I just want some attention!” The Boy was frustrated: K was gone; I was working on school matters; the Girl was being a typical thirteen-year-old. It struck me at that moment how this quarantine is affecting them.

I’ve been using Flipgrid with some classes to take a wellness check. I recorded a video; kids record videos in response. The Boy has been watching the videos and responding with me, and a common thread in most videos is how much students miss seeing their friends. “I don’t really miss school that much, but I miss interacting with my friends,” one might say, and the Boy mutters, “Me, too.”

So when he asked specifically and directly for attention, I thought about those responses and the simple fact that he has been isolated — completely isolated — from all his friends for weeks now. It’s less annoying for the Girl because she Facetimes with her friends and texts them. We’ve set up a Facetime session with a few of his friends, and his teachers have done a great job using Zoom to get the class together at least once a week. (I’ve tried to do the same with my students, but with less stellar results.) But it’s not the same: he cannot just contact his friends whenever he wants to. He is much more dependent on us.

It’s one of those unexpected lessons we learn during this troubling period.