The first day of a new school year is like the moment the curtain rises on a play that is often improvisational and responsive to the audience’s reaction. Each year, I reinvent myself as a teacher a little bit, especially during those first days when I’m setting a tone for the year. Always looking for that sweet spot between commander-in-chief and coach, I waver between the “don’t smile before Christmas” type of teacher and the warm-and-welcoming-almost-a-friend type of teacher. Neither is sufficient in and of itself, and I really like the coach mentality more than the authoritarian mentality, but kids will be kids, and sometimes, I have some really emotionally damaged students who add a whole new dimension and need that forceful approach — if only for a second, like a splash of cold water to get their attention — so I waver between the two in the beginning.

And yet it always depends on the class: some groups come in and I see immediately that Joey in the back is going to be a living terror if I don’t make sure I set the right tone (which might not be the authoritarian despite the initial impression that he needs a “strong hand”); other groups come in and I see, though not immediately, that there aren’t any students set on hijacking the class, and I breathe a bit easier. Still, that hint of “I can become the strictest, meanest teacher in the world if I need to” must be there, around the edges, because you never know what’s going to happen in October when the honeymoon is over.

So the night before, I sit thinking about who exactly I’ll become tomorrow. I know who I’ll end up being: I have enough experience that I can get to the coach stage fairly quickly once I’ve established that I know how to drop the hammer, but those first few days — I never really know.

The magic begins tomorrow, too. I’ll see wave after wave of totally foreign faces and look at attendance sheets that are just a bunch of names, and by the end of the first quarter, I’ll be able to predict how each student is going to react to a given assignment. By the end of the semester, I’ll even know what words a given student might use.