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Easter 2023
Around the Table
Egg Hunt
With a short video of the adults…
Volleyball
Check, Please
I need to contest some of these charges.
To begin with, I don’t accept your view of sin. Sin is the violation of a deity’s will; since I don’t believe in a deity, I don’t sin. You can say I sin, but that’s just in your perspective, accepting as a given the deity you believe in.
Additionally, the shame you indicate I should have never showed up. I don’t feel shame for sinning — see above.
As for the pain and past mistakes, I don’t think your product does anything for that. My past mistakes remain mistakes; pain remains. It’s a defective product, in other words.
Rejection and loneliness? I know a lot of people who use your product and experience that. Indeed, your sales force itself practices rejection on a regular basis. Come to think of it, it regularly engages in shaming people as well.
Slavery to sin? See above.
Spiritual death? I don’t even know what that could possibly mean.
Jesus might have paid it all in your scheme of things, but I bought none of it.
Holy Saturday 2023
Good Friday 2023
Building an Icon
Leaving the Faith
The post stood out immediately: I can relate, and so can K. Granted, I hadn’t been attending Mass as long as the gentleman in question, but I could see myself in the post:
“I am very lost & confused as to where all of this came from,” she admits, and I find myself wondering how this came about. Perhaps the husband had been on this long road of deconversion for years and simply kept it to himself because he didn’t want his wife to worry. Perhaps as the issues piled up in his head he was in some sort of denial. Perhaps he dropped hints, unsure how to begin the conversation outright, and she just didn’t pick up on them because they were so incongruous with everything she knew about him or because he, inexperienced with dropping such hints, was unable to do so in a sufficiently clear way. (That’s the double problem with dropping hints.) Whatever the case, from her perspective, it’s coming out of nowhere.
In responding to this, some people shared that they can relate. But at least a couple had me wondering if effective communication was actually taking place. One response declared that her son had become “a socialist.”
Perhaps he does not align with a socialist political position, but knowing conservatives of the 2020s, it could simply be that he’s now aligned himself with the Democratic party and the mother, true to Fox News talking points, simply labels him a socialist.
To that response, someone commiserated that “it’s absolutely awful what this world is doing today,” to which the original commenter replied that “it is getting scary.” She suggests it’s “this world,” which is American Christian-ese “the Satan-influenced, Satan-worshiping society we live in,” which in turn is simply the non-Christian segment of the population. And it’s getting “scary” because more and more people are realizing that they don’t need Christianity in their lives: church attendance is plummeting, especially among those under 40. These two ladies see the issue in terms of society as a whole, but they fail to understand the underlying causes, attributing it most likely to Satan’s growing influence.
Some, however, did see that it wasn’t simply a question of Satan’s supposed influence but also a question of the hypocrisy and judgmental nature of contemporary American Christianity:
This comment reveals what I see as one of the primary causes of declining church attendance: the church is continually creating situations that amount to self-inflicted wounds.
Fundamentalist Christians insist that the Genesis account is accurate and that evolutionary theory is a Satanic lie. Then their children learn about the mountain of evidence supporting evolution and they’re forced to choose between the faith of their parents or, as they see it, reality.
Fundamentalist Christians insist that homosexuality has no place in a Christian worldview. Then their children meet queer people and realize, “Hey, they’re not the devils they’re made out to be,” and another church teaching falls to the side.
Fundamentalist Christians remove from their fellowship individuals who choose not to live according to fundamentalist interpretations of sexual morality, and their children find out their soccer coach has been fired, despite parents’ and players’ begging, mid-season because she got pregnant out of wedlock. Then the players are crushed, and a handful of them start thinking, “If this is how Christians behave, I don’t think I need that in my life.”
These are just a handful of the ways modern Christianity is sabotaging itself. Perhaps something like this went on with these commenters’ children.
Others tried to fix the problem.
What happens when prayer doesn’t work, though? What happens when these people are still not returning to church? These poor folks then have a second layer of doubt: why isn’t God helping my child save herself? What am I doing wrong that is preventing this prayer from being answered?
As an aside, the metaphor of prayer as “storming heaven” is always a little strange for me. “Storming” is always used in the sense of an assault — storming the beaches of Normandy. Soldiers storm a position because it’s held by the enemy. In this case, “storming heaven” has connotations of viewing God as an enemy. I’m certain this is not what they intend, but I’m equally certain they’ve never really thought about the metaphor. It just sounds like strong, intense praying — praying really hard.
Some people just passively-aggressively blamed the believers: it’s your fault. You’re not trying hard enough. You’re not holy enough.
This could not possibly be helpful. Such a response only increases the sense of overwhelming guilt these people must feel. As with the “storming heaven” metaphor, this commenter probably didn’t even think this comment out.
Finally, there was the Catholic sense of magical thinking on full display:
The Catholic reliance on relics and holy objects fascinates me. What would this scapular actually do? How would it affect things? And since this husband would be unaware that it’s there, would that amount to God acting against this guy’s will, thus negating the cherished notion of free will, a staple among Christians for explaining how evil exists on earth given the existence of an all-knowing, all-powerful, completely-benevolent god?
I can’t really blame them for their thinking, though: there are certain lines a Christian cannot cross, and “he might have had perfectly good reasons for leaving Christianity, and he might have done so in good faith” is one of them. In such a case, if he found a reason to leave, perhaps I could as well — and that’s unthinkable.
No matter the reason he’d give, though, it wouldn’t be good enough for them.
Blooms on a Run
Spring Monday
The Boy and I have been listening to Josh Clark’s The End of the World podcast, and it opens with a discussion of the Fermi Paradox, which the Boy tried to explain to his friend on the way to the pool this evening.
“See, the universe is millions of years old and…” he began when his friend cut him off: “No, it’s only a few thousand years old.”
“No,” argued the Boy. “It’s millions of years old.”
“No!” his friend insisted. “It’s only a few thousand years old. It’s in the Bible.”
At this point, I intervened: “Boys, stop arguing — talk about something else.”
On the way home, after dropping off his friend, I explained to the Boy what had happened, giving him a primer on young Earth creationism.
“But it’s science!” he insisted incredulously. “There’s evidence.”
“But they don’t accept that evidence,” I explained, and he had a hard time understanding how someone doesn’t accept evidence. I do too, truth be told. “It’s just not worth arguing about because you won’t change anyone’s mind who thinks that way.”
I went ahead and corrected his numbers while I was at it: “The Earth is, in fact, about 4.5 billion years old, and the universe is somewhere in the area of 13 billion years old — much older than the couple million years you were insisting upon. I didn’t correct you then because that would have meant correcting your friend, and I’m not sure how his parents would react to that.”
My parents were young Earthers, too (at least for a while), but I’m not sure how they would have reacted to me coming home and announcing that one of my friend’s father said indirectly that I was wrong and that the Earth is in fact much older than what they taught me. I don’t imagine they would have prevented me from seeing the kid again, but if it had happened again, they might have. And certainly, very fundamentalist Christians would likely make such a move, and the Boy’s relationship with his friend is much more valuable to me than what he’s been taught about the universe.
The Boy, then, experienced something like what I experience regularly: that sense when among more literalist Christians that we view the world in a completely different way.
799 hours and 59 minutes
Palm Sunday 2023
New Couch
The new couch no longer was — in fact, it was ancient. So ancient I’d stopped thinking of it as “the new couch” years ago. (For reference, I still think of albums bands released 10 years ago as their new album, so…)
Email Home
I wanted to let you know that I had to sign —-‘s ROCK card today because he was talking excessively and disrupting class. I saw, too, that another teacher had to sign his ROCK card today as well.
I know you are following —-‘s behavior on Class Dojo, but I wanted to let you know about the ROCK step since that’s not immediately obvious on Class Dojo. Right now he has two for the quarter, which means he’s nearing the point at which ROCK steps become referrals (on the 5th step). I know —- doesn’t do these things maliciously, but it is still a problem for classroom management. Please help me encourage —- to make better choices that more accurately reflect his potential.
The Shift: Initial Thoughts
I’ve begun reading The Shift: Surviving and Thriving After Moving from Conservative to Progressive Christianity by Colby Martin. I’ve read a number of books and articles about people who start doubting traditional Christianity and end up leaving it altogether, but I’d never read anything about taking that first step but ending up still in some form of Christianity. The idea intrigued me. Not because I’m interested in finding a place for myself in progressive Christianity but rather because I like reading about different people’s experiences of faith.
I don’t enjoy reading shitty writing, and I’m afraid that’s what this is. The ideas might be good, but the writing so far is awful. Take a look at this passage from the introduction:
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good at sleeping. Normally, it welcomes me like a freshly hired Walmart greeter. But one evening, just before finishing this book, it treated me more like the Costco exit guard who scans your receipt, glances with unprovoked judgment toward your cart, and won’t let you go until you acquire the Sharpie swipe of victory. Frustrated, I stared into the darkness, scanning the receipt of my brain for what held me back from passing to the void. I tossed and turned on my Casper mattress. I fluffed and re-fluffed my Tuft & Needle pillow. Maybe my issue is that I fall prey to too many Facebook ads? Nah, that’s ridiculous, I thought as I unclasped my MVMT watch.
Dear Lord, why do people who have no idea how to construct compelling figurative language insist on doing it anyway? I know there’s tone-deafness; is there metaphor-deafness as well?
And what is the point of all this brand name dropping? His “Casper mattress”? His “Tuft & Needle pillow”? His “MVMT watch”? Did he read somewhere that good writing includes details and so he’s going to include the brand of every damn thing he mentions?
Practicing their Scene
New Beginnings
The Boy is no longer a Cub Scout. That’s over — a whole phase of his life behind him. Tonight was his first meeting as a Boy Scout.
There was the requisite paperwork — which he filled out. “This is all you, little man,” I told him with a smile.
They started the meeting with introductions to the troop: “We’d like to invite our newest scouts to introduce themselves and tell us a little bit about them.” E stepped forward, shyly as always, and said, “I’m E. I like soccer and guitar.” After introductions, the new scouts went out with some of the older boys to learn the ropes, so to speak.
So different than Cub Scouts. Boy-run, boy-planned, boy-approved. “We’re just there to make sure they do everything safely,” the scoutmaster told us when we first visited back in December.
We parents didn’t see the kids until they were done, wrapping everything up with their circle. In fact, tonight is likely the only night we’ll stay through the whole thing. “Most parents just drop them off and then pick them up later,” the assistant scoutmaster told us new parents.
“This is going to do the Boy so much good,” I told K.
Changes
Changes are visible every time we head back to Poland. This summer was no exception, but I didn’t notice a significant change until long after we returned.
At the corner of the rynek in Nowy Targ stood a strange building that seemed more like a house that had been renovated into a business. It always stood out.
What I didn’t notice in the summer of 2022 (and thus did not photograph, relying instead now on Google Street View) was that the entire building has been completely renovated.
And yet I recall looking at the bank to the left, the bank I visited countless times, and thinking that something just didn’t look right.
Vertical
This week, the Girl got what we hope was the first of several emails from college coaches who’ve seen her play at a tournament and are interested in recruiting her. Unfortunately, it’s a liberal arts school and so doesn’t fit into her plans to go into genetic engineering. But still, interest is interest.
One thing the Girl is lacking, though, is current stats, so we worked on that today. What is her blocking vertical? What is her hitting vertical? We had last year’s numbers, but we needed current numbers.
Let’s just say she’s improved…
Saturday Evening Downtown
We spent the evening downtown, the five of us — the two kids and the dog. It’s so rare that everyone’s schedules work out to let us do something like this. We’ll take every opportunity we have.
Our stroll eventually led us down to the river and the new Grand Bohemian hotel which is the latest highlight of the ever-developing downtown Greenville.
Eventually we made it down the the rocky area of the river just at the edge of the main downtown park, the place both of our kids loved to run about on the rocks as little kids.
“Those days are long gone” K and I constantly remind ourselves. And yet, every now and then, the stars align,
the kids are both fascinated with the same thing, and for a brief moment, we pop back a few years in the past.
Track Meet
