Matching Tracksuits

Day: December 21, 2006

Enter: LMS, Part I :: Friday Afternoon

Thursday 21 December 2006

Three o’clock, Friday — my phone rings. As always, I jump when I see it’s K calling. “Is she having contractions? Is she?”

She always reassures me that that’s not why she’s calling, and this time is no different. She does, however, also inform me this time that her afternoon visit at the midwife’s clinic revealed that she’s one centimeter dilated and ninety percent effaced.

“Ninety percent?” I say. “Our daughter could pop out any minute!” I joke.

“Ninety percent,” I mutter to myself after I hang up the phone. Saturday night’s plans are probably for naught; I probably won’t be coming to work next week; we’re going to have a daughter by weekend’s conclusion.

Nothing’s certain; everything’s certain. I rush back inside to flesh out my lesson plans for Monday and Tuesday. My skeletal outlines will never do if someone else is leading class.

“Ninety percent,” I say again.

It seems certain we’ll be meeting our daughter this weekend.

Dear Thud

Thursday 21 December 2006

Dear Thud,

I know you are waiting in great expectation for the birth of your and Elf’s child. Having experienced this recently myself, I thought I’d tell you to cherish something that you will lose forever once your child is born.

Sleep.

Who needs sleep?
Well, you’re never gonna get it.
Who needs sleep?
Tell me what’s that for?
Who needs sleep?
be happy with
what you’re getting–
There’s a guy who’s been awake
since the Second World War

Bare Naked Ladies

It will disappear like a wisp of smoke, and you’ll find yourself longing for one more chance at that last night before your child was born

It will disappear and the memory of it will instantly be so faint that you’ll think you’re hallucinating, that you never actually did sleep more two hours at a time.

It will disappear and be replaced at times with a roaring headache accompanied by the cause of that headache: a cry that is so piercingly shrill that it seems incapable of being produced by a human larynx.

You’ll find yourself jealous of your child, sleeping at all hours, throughout the day–of course, only to wake up when any civilized person would be going to bed.

Substitute

But there are advantages to being awake all the time. You see things like this.

So cheer up — sleep deprivation is actually a blessing. True, it distills the first days into one, long, blur. But it’s the most beautiful blur you’ll experience.

In the meantime, get sleep. Sleep when you’re not sleepy. Sleep just because you can. Sleep in the middle of the day. Set your alarm clock for 3 AM just so you can experience the wonder of turning it off and instantly going back to sleep. Sleep in chairs, on beds, in the middle of the living room floor. Wallow in sleep. Because take it from me — the End is near!

But more importantly, so is the Beginning.

Droopily,
g