While making dinner tonight I listened (or rather, we listened) to Shawn Colvin’s A Few Small Repairs. Naturally, I thought of Lipnica. Specifically the “party” I had with then-class-IIIA (now college freshmen). I put that on at some point, I recall. I was completely smitten with that album. I just remembered that they were asking me to play guitar. I don’t really know why I didn’t. Seems a little silly now — I never play for anyone anymore.
Anyway, for some reason, I began thinking about Agnieszka Kubacka, regretting that she never wrote me back. I guess I could write her another letter, but what’s the use? She didn’t write back; Tom didn’t. Iwona . Anna P. Damian. Agnieszka Adamczyk. Fairly ridiculous, but something I have, in large measure, learned to accept.
I keep having these grandiose visions of what my visit to Lipnica will be like, and yet I wonder if I won’t be as disappointed in some ways with that as I have been with my students’ lack of response. What if I get there and don’t get to see much of anyone I want to see? I know I’ll get to see the most important people–Janusz, Charles, Kinga, Edyta, Kinga, and Halina. The rest, I suppose — who knows. I’ll send a letter to school fairly soon telling everyone roughly when I’ll be there. I’ll set a date for a big group visit at urek maybe, and then try to visit everyone I really want to talk to beforehand (people like Dominika and Agnieszka).
I’d really like to see Grzegorz Kalemba. I wonder if he’d come to Żurek if I “announced” it. That would be really nice. He was a sweet kid who, in many ways, was a dream student. Always tried, never really disruptive. Bolek would be another I’d like to see. Marek as well. He was a tough one — he liked to be challenged, I think. And I’d like to see Krzysztof as well.
I’d love to see everyone; I’d love to have a Saturday night like “old times” — Janusz comes over for beer and music, then we head off to the disco. I guess that won’t happen because of the simple fact of where I’ll be staying.
I added another to my list of “those I’ve written to” — Beata Płotek. I remember how we had a few (very few) wonderful conversations — especially when I walked her home from Żurek and she told me, “You’re the best teach in the school.” I regret not having made more of an effort with her. Who knows what more I could have done. I’ve a feeling that no matter what I did, I would always feel I should have done more. (That’s not something Adam will ever feel regarding his time in Lipnica; he’s not even aware of how little he’s doing, and regret takes awareness of one’s actual situation and an ideal. He doesn’t seem to have either.) Anyway, I really do doubt that she’ll write me back, but it only cost me 60¢, so I’ve lost nothing I guess. I also wrote to Ewa and Kasia from Augustów.