I talked to Kathe last night. I miss her.
I can’t help but feel uneasy about her, though. She tells mom and dad things that she never tells me (that she’s majoring in music, that she has something wrong with her heart) and I wonder why she does that. I guess she still doesn’t totally trust me because of all the stuff that’s happened to her. It’s just a strange feeling when something like that happens…when mom says, “Has Kathe said anything to you about…” and I have to reply, “No.” I guess I feel like she’s holding out on me. Of course I’ve never asked her any of these things, so why should she tell me? But why should she tell mom and dad?
It’s so strange how drastically things can change in a year. Roughly this time last year I was so “in love” with Laurel I thought I’d die. In a year, she’s dumped me, we’ve gotten back together (kind of) and then Kathe came along.
I must admit I miss that side of my relationship with Laurel. I was thinking about that time before the feast when we went to that water fall and things just seemed so perfect. Even then I knew things would be the same. It didn’t bother me that much, but I knew. And I worried that when Laurel realized it — if she hadn’t already — then things would come to a screeching halt again.
Reading old journal entries — even from just this summer — is really a nice experience. It calls to mind things I hadn’t thought of in ages. And things that happened so long ago that I didn’t realize were that far back.
I haven’t seen Dave since June. That’s five months. It’s pretty pathetic.
My life seems like it’s just whizzing by and I’m not doing anything to control it. This semester is almost over and it just feels like it started. That’s typical of school, though. It’s gone before you know it.