| Young Lady: | You teachers are so disrespectful. It’s so unfair. |
| gls: | I’m sorry — I don’t follow. |
| Young Lady: | You tell me to be quiet and that’s fine. But what happens if I tell you to be quiet? |
| gls: | [Pauses in thought; wonders if he heard correctly; contemplates an adequate response.] Well, generally kids don’t tell adults to be quiet. |
| Young Lady: | God — you don’t get it. [Storms out.] |
| gls: | [To self.] No, you don’t get it. |
So many of my students think that they’re adults’ equals, that they can talk to adults just like they talk to their peers.
Did our teachers think the same of us?
I think all that did was confirm to her that there’s a “double standard.” The double-standard is, of course, just the appearance of one. The truth is, when we were her age we were told to be quiet. The idea of “rank” may not have occurred to her, nor the idea that someday (and probably soon) she will be an adult and have those privileges as well.
I think most of us were pretty clear on the idea that you don’t get to tell the teachers what to do. Today’s kids pretty well think they’re in charge, and aren’t afraid to say so.
I usually point out that I’m the one who’s paid to be the boss, and that the adults in the school are legally acting in place of their parents. We’re charged with keeping order and safety, so we get to make the decisions. In fact, I’ve used Marvin Marshall’s “Discipline without Stress” model to teach my students about those concepts. It’s a starting point, at least. I sound like a broken record, but I don’t want any of these kids changing my Depends when I’m 90.
I can’t remember ever talking back to a teacher. As a teacher, it’s rare that I come across a student who doesn’t talk back. Somehow, in 20 years, kids have been allowed to think that they can behave just like adults. That they have the right to do anything and everything they want. I don’t know how that happened.
Or maybe I was just a very, very nice student and it’s been like this in the world since day 1.
Thud, the idea of rank might not have occurred to her because it’s never been modeled for her. On the other hand, this is her ninth year in school — that’s quite a lot of modeling…
AuntieM, I’ve been trying to do/explain the same things. I often point out that I have ranks above me: assistant principal, principal, superintendent. They get it, and they don’t get it.
Kinuk, I don’t know whether or not it’s been like this since day one. Not to brag, but I was in very few “on-level” classes, and I never saw this kind of talking back either. It’s the students in the on-level classes that give me this trouble. The advanced and G&T kids have much better social skills. Which says a lot, in and of itself.