The question:
Why do people try to irritate, anger, frustrate, or annoy other people? What motivation drives people to be almost-bullies and/or bullies?
My response:
Teasing and poking fun at someone can often be harmless: if everyone is good with the ribbing, few feelings suffer. This is why, when we're making new seating groups in class, I always ask "Who wants to get picked on this time?" I always have a lot of students to choose from to use as an example kid that one might not want to get stuck with. "We all know someone will get stuck with Bob," I begin, "But what is our reaction to being grouped with someone we're not crazy about?" "Nothing!" comes the chorus reply. Yet despite this there are still some moans and complaints about the groupings, though to their credit, the students are almost always complaining because they're with some of the same students they were with in the last seating arrangement. Sometimes, though, the ribbing and joking don't feel like jokes, especially when they're not the product of mutual consent. Yet some people knowingly, even intentionally, cross that line. They do annoying things because they are annoying, and the more we ask such a person to stop, the more likely they are to continue.