To love one’s job truly and deeply, so much so that one can hardly wait to return as one is walking out the door at the end of the day, is a great and wondrous gift.
I sat in my room, doing paperwork during a planning period, and I was excited by the fact that class began in ten minutes;Â I walked out of school this afternoon eager to return the next day.
Only two days have passed and I know I have the kids. I see in their eyes, “This year is going to be different.” One hundred minutes with students (two fifty-minute classes) and I already have a better relationship with them than I’ve probably ever had with students, definitely the best relationship with students in America. I have their complete attention, and they enjoy being there. There’s eye contact; there’s smiling; there’s thoughtfulness — and we’ve just been talking as a class about how this year will be.
In short, I finally have the classroom I always knew I could: mutual respect with a common sense of purpose and an excitement about the year.
What’s different this year? It seems so obvious now, but I’ve simply rejected the common “wisdom” about creating a first impression in the classroom. That so-called wisdom is based on a Hobbesian view that humans are inherently bad and respond only to coercion. “Scare them.” “Make them know who’s boss.” “Don’t smile before Christmas.” That’s fine if you want a seemingly well-behaved class that jumps when you require it. It doesn’t do much for relationships, though. Students tend to think the teacher is simply flexing his district-given power. No one responds well when being “put in their place.” No one works well in an environment based ultimately on fear.
Instead, I’ve taken Rousseauian approach. I don’t believe everyone is inherently good — I believe we’re inherently rather neutral — but I do believe that people treat us the way we treat them: if we treat people well, they will respond well. If we establish from the beginning, unquestionably, that we respect people, they will return that respect.
This is critical when working with middle schools, and even more important with working with middle schools who might have grown up in an environment almost completely lacking in adults who behave in a way that inspires respect.
The upshot of all of this is that I simply can’t wait to get into the classroom tomorrow, which makes it infinitely easier to plan lessons tonight.
Would this be another way of viewing the “Law of Expectations?” You get what you “expect?” In any case it sure is exciting for me and I’m not even involved.
You’re unusual. A gifted teacher. You bring to the classroom much much more than you can even imagine.
I just have one qualifier: women have to approach a room full of students cautiously. I know I work with a completely different population than you do, but I still do believe that it’s harder to gain friendship and maintain authority when you are a woman. For me, the first classes have to be the tough ones so that I can set parameters first and then proceed to friendship. Exactly the opposite of what seems to work for you.
@nina
I certainly do understand the differences gender can make in the classroom. I think it’s probably more crucial, in some ways, in the middle school — particularly for my new across-the-hall neighbor. She’s a fresh, May graduate and this is her very first teaching job. She’s grateful for any help, but it’s hard to explain that balance. Even though I am focusing on the “friendship” (for lack of a better word — I’m certainly not trying to be the students’ friend, but…) aspect, I know I have to back up everything I say. It’s not all smiles and games. I sort of cracked down on two students during first period, giving their official “warnings.” It’s the first step toward an administrative referral, which results in suspension. (Three steps to go, though.) I was sort of on the look out for it, just to give them a little jolt, but these two kids set it up perfectly. I talked to them after class, telling them, “Yes, I made examples of you, but I just wanted to make sure everyone knew I was serious.” Serious about what? I’ve taken a new approach in that as well. More on that later.