wedding | matching tracksuits

Departure

Wednesday 18 August 2004

I can't deny I wasn't a little nervous about the thought of traveling close to 700 kilometers (420 miles) with two bikes strapped to the roof. The bike racks seemed to be less than stellar examples of design.

This became evident the day before as we were actually putting the bike rack together and it turned out that two of the u-bolts were too long and so the threads didn't extend far enough to enable us to tighten them properly. A few extra nuts and the problem was solved.

Putting the bikes on the rack (that sounds Inquisitorial) Wednesday morning revealed the need to improvise some more: we had to secure the front wheels with nylon string so the handle bars didn't bang together as we rolled along.

Before our departure, a group photo was in order.

On the Way

The trip itself was somewhat uneventful – just the third time from Poland to Budapest.

We stopped in Donovalay for a snack, in Sachy for coffee, Vac for a walk, and somewhere for lunch, though I can't remember where.

Gary denerwowa? siÄ™ trochÄ™ tymi rowerami na dachu ale w gruncie rzeczy to mieliÅ›my poczucie, Å¼e nasz samochód wyglÄ…da po prostu - cool - z tak wspania?ym bagaÅ¼em. NajwiÄ™kszy stres przeÅ¼yliÅ›my jednak na ulicach Budapesztu. Jest to miast wyjÄ…tkowo nieprzyjazne dla kierowców, szczególnie tych obcych. Centrum miasta to labirynt ulic jednokierunkowych, w tygodniu miasto jest niewyobraÅ¼alnie zakorkowane a do tego budapesztaÅ„scy kierowcy nie majÄ… za grosz cierpliwoÅ›ci i nie zdejmujÄ… nogi z gazu jak tylko warunki na drosze im na to pozwalajÄ….

Poza tym, to jechaliÅ›my sobie beztrosko, s?uchajÄ…c dobrej muzyki, Gary przygotowa? wczeÅ›niej najróÅ¼niejsze sk?adanki na wszelki moÅ¼liwe nastroje jakie mog?y nas dopaÅ›Ä‡ na trasie.

After my folks got on the plane Thursday morning, Kinga and I headed to Balaton, finding a wonderful room with a fenced yard where we could leave the car in Felsoors.

Sunday After our Wedding

Sunday 15 August 2004

Our Wedding

Saturday 14 August 2004

The blessing is one of the most personal times of the whole wedding. Only family and closest friends are present as both sets of parents offer their blessings and best wishes to their children before the ceremony.

It's usually a very teary affair, with one or both of the mothers crying and perhaps a guest or two joining in.

It's at this point, I suppose, that the seriousness of what's happening really starts to settle in.

Było bardzo uroczyÅ›cie z tymi wszystkimi mowami, na szczÄ™Å›cie obeszło sie bez zbyt głoÅ›niego szlochania.

After the blessing, it's off to the church.

According to Polish custom, the bride and groom are actually theÂ first to enter the church. They go in and sit down in front of the altar while all the guests file in.

We decided to do it a little more "American" style: my Dad escorted Kinga's mother in, and I escorted my Mom, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

I stood by the altar for a few moments and then Kinga came in.

Shortly after that, Kinga and I went to a small room off the main altar with Johnny, the best man, and Maja, the maid of honor, for all the paper signing and other technicalities.

After that and a small misshap concerning a Bible, we returned to our places and the Mass began.

The Mass, despite all the unexpected pre-Mass adventures, started on time at one o'clock.

Our Mass, conducted by the rector, Stanisław Górecki was somewhat Spartan in that we elected not to have the traditional organ accompanyment during the prayers and recitations, so there was a spontaneous element to the Mass as no one really wanted to be the one who started belting out the "Amen" and such.

We did have music, though: the local youth choir sang, and a traditional Highlander band played (though not together, of course!).Other than that, the Mass was pretty much according to the patter of Masses for the last, I guess, few hundred years: two readings, some hymns, some prayers, a sermon, communion, and a benediction.

There was an anxious moment for me as we neared the giving of the communion. I had earlier been told that, as a non-Christian, my vows would be a little different than Kinga's as a Catholic. The Catholic wedding vow, after promising to be faithful, loving, and so on until death, ends with something like, "So help me God and all the Saints." Since I don't believe in these beings, it doesn't make sense for me to be asking for their help, and so in perfoming mixed marriages, the priest usually leaves that out for the non-believing partner.

In my case, though, the priest had me say that. Suddenly I was worried that he might have forgotten and later might offer me communion.

After kneeling at the main altar (which, apparently, everyone was supposed to do, but didn't),

Kinga and I left arm in arm.

Msza podobno była piękna. Tak słyszeliśmy od gości, bo my widzieliśmy tylko kolejne wpadki – z Biblią na początku; ksiądz proboszcz osobiście biegał na plebanię. Do tego zapomnieliśmy przynieść świec do kościoła, no i przez 10 minut myśleliśmy, że księdzu wszystko się pomieszało z tym ślubem. No ale jakoś wytrwaliśmy, chociaż to był dla nas ogromny stres. Zresztą, jak powiedział ksiądz na kazaniu: czymże jest olimpiada w Atenach i wizyta Papieża we Francji wobec tego, co my w tym momencie przeżywaliśmy.

With the Mass over, it was time to leave. I suppose of all the moments one imagines about one's wedding, this is one of the (for me) least exceptional. No shudders; no thinking, "I really feel married now"; no sense of anything except, "Whew, the most stressful part is now over."

Well, no, that's not true. There was a certain amount of pride I personally felt. After all, look how beautiful the bride was that day.

After all the guests came out, it was time to kiss them. All. One after the other.

After the newlyweds and guests leave the church, the bride and groom "receive" all the guests — nothing particularly novel about that for a non-Pole. What is novel is the kissing.

Mwa, mwa, mwa — left cheek, right cheek, left cheek again.

The men kiss the bride; the women kiss the groom; the women kiss the bride; and most disconcertingly, the men kiss the groom.

Having been raised in a non-kissing culture, it's taken a little while to get used to it. It's not just at weddings — most official, congratulatory occasions require kissing.

On Saturday 14 August 2004, I kissed about 120 people. I tried not to take the initiative, especially with the men. But if a man wanted a smooch, well, culture dictated that I pucker-up.

When Dave came along in the receiving line, we shook hands like men and left it at that.

Kissing finished, the photographer took over.

Preparing for the Wedding

Friday 13 August 2004

The Cooks and the Cakes

The four cooks began working Tuesday, actually. First order: making the cakes. Because it's part of the Polish wedding tradition to give departing guests a small box of cakes to take home, about double the logical amount of cakes is necessary. In other words, the cooks baked enough cakes for double the people.

An abbreviated view of the assorted collection is below.

Thursday and Friday the cooks were chopping, grinding, frying, boiling, and everything else imaginable. And they were loading the main stove with coal, for people still cook with traditional ovens and stoves here.

Four cooks, four days: that makes an estimated 130+ man-hours just for preparing the food.

The Drinks

The amount of beverages for a twelve- to fifteen-hour party of one hundred forty people is almost back-breaking. Soft drinks, juices, and mineral water were on every table in abundance, and this meant it all initially had to be delivered and worse, taken upstairs.

Fortunately, we had quite a bit of help doing this. (Actually, "we" is not quite right, because I wasn't even there. I was off on another errand.) But when the party was over and all the empty bottles and unconsumed beverages had to be taken back downstairs, there were just two of us: my Dad and I.

The Decorations

Over a thousand balloons were used to decorate the hall. Instead of ten of us sitting around half a day blowing up balloons, we hired a company to do it.

The tables were all our responsibility, though.

The Car

"Now, this is history," someone commented as we cleaned the car. "Four Americans cleaning a Pole's car!"

It's inconceivable to go to a wedding in a less than a perfectly clean car, so Dave and I set out cleaning it, inside (i.e., even deep into the trunk) and out Frday afternoon. Soon my father joined us, and Mom held the hose for a little while, giving rise to the history comment.

Dave and Kuba wax as Jan (my father-in-law) supervises

Dave drinks to Kuba as Dad and Jan look on

Of course, what's the good of cleaning a car in such a big group if there isn't a little bit of socializing going on as well? Jan called us all into the garage from time to time and gave everyone a shot of wedding vodka and instead of a chaser, we sampled the wedding oscypek. And Johnny, the best man, dropped in for a while on his way from Liverpool (!?!), making for a nice little afternoon.

And finally: the car's washed; the food's prepared; the clothes are ready.