the girl | matching tracksuits

First Game

Tuesday 27 August 2019 | 0 Comments

Tonight, the Girl had her first game as a member of her middle school volleyball team. She tried out last year, but she didn’t make the cut. That was not going to cut it. She worked and practiced for the last year and this year, her first year, she’s actually a starter.

How did she do? She showed an awareness of the game that was impressive; she was a good sport and supportive team member; she cheered her team enthusiastically when she was on the bench; she smiled a lot.

I sat with K and the Boy and cheered. And felt a fair amount of frustration about the fact that I’d forgotten to take a camera with me to school…

Sunday Afternoon

Sunday 25 August 2019 | 0 Comments

Sometimes, all the kids really need is a little attention. L won't often admit it, but of course, she does -- we all need it. The Boy, though, will just ask for it.

"Daddy, can we have some E-Daddy time this afternoon?"

Today, we got out the birthday bb gun and began shooting at our normal target: a magnolia tree in the middle of our yard with a lot of trees and undergrowth in the area across the creek to stop any stray rounds and the nearest house a few hundred feet away. Today, though, we began shooting at other things: Clover's ball (an old volleyball that she's stripped bare), which moved a little every time we hit it; the Boy's old dump truck, which, made of metal, returned a satisfying ping every time we hit it.

Afterward, a bit of swinging while I snapped pictures and kicked the ball for the dog.

Another perfect Sunday afternoon.

First Day 2019

Tuesday 20 August 2019 | 0 Comments

The Girl started seventh grade today, the Boy began second grade. The Boy, in his multi-age classroom, is now an “older friend” as opposed to a “younger friend.” “I know my teachers,” he explained when I asked why he was so confident about going to second grade. There’s a lot to be said for the continuity of having the same teachers for a couple of years.

The Girl starts algebra this year, and she’s on the school volleyball team, and she makes her own breakfast and packs her own lunch. Our little girl is no more; she’s a young lady, looking more and more like her maternal grandmother every day.

I began, I believe, my 20th or 21st year of teaching. I could count it up, I suppose, but what’s the point? More or less is more or less enough. Taking all I’ve learned from teaching, I began all classes with very little worry, very little concern: I know what works for an opening day; I know what doesn’t work. I filled the day with the former and successfully avoided even a hint of the latter. The kids are sufficiently assured that I can be as tough as I need to be and adequately convinced that my class can even be — dare I say it — amusing and fun at times.

Lake Jocassee 2019

Thursday 08 August 2019 | 0 Comments

Just a little over a year ago, we went camping for the first time at Lake Jocassee -- not our first visit, but our first time camping there -- and we knew that we would have to go back. Again. And again. This year, we returned, taking our same camp site -- our beloved Site 20 -- and going to the same places, doing the same things. With one difference: K, finishing up a course, stayed home.

"I can study better for the final without you all anyway," she rationalized, but of course we all wanted her to go with us as much as she wanted to be there.

Still, it created a new dynamic as I explored an adventure with the Boy and the Girl. There's a difference in fun in threes that makes us rely on each other a little more and realize -- for the millionth time -- just how much K brings to our family.

For one thing, we're much more relaxed about getting started in the morning. If it were not for K, I don't think we'd get half the things done we usually get done. K is the early riser in the family, and even when we're on vacation, she makes sure we're up and eating at a decent out, out for our first adventure, ready for our second well before lunch. Without her, we managed breakfast by 9:00, usually making it to the water an hour later as we went to get ice for the cooler, to drop off the trash, and to accomplish various meaningless tasks.

Part of that might have been the inability to split tasks due to having only one adult present, but honestly, we just got up a lot later than we would have earlier.

It's tempting to say that everything else was the same, but how could it be? Everyone's a year older, a year wiser. The Boy made a friend and spend a good bit of time on his own with his friend J, in sight but most decidedly independent. The Girl floated out to an isolated area and lived in her own world at times. The Dog wanted -- actually begged -- to get in the water.

The next day was more of the same, but with a major change: the rock we discovered last year that was simply a lovely spot to go and watch the sunrise and do some fishing, became a jumping platform. The Girl, seeing me and others do it, leapt into the water without much hesitation at all. The Boy? Well, J his new friend was there, jumping off with abandon. The Boy didn't wait: off he went after a quick check to make sure I was in the water to help him if needed.

L’s First Day at the Pool

Wednesday 31 July 2019 | 0 Comments

L’s Return

Tuesday 30 July 2019 | 0 Comments

E and I had a chat about L’s return. He was so very excited — and not even once in those conversations did he ever talk about what she was bringing him. “I hope we don’t start fussing again,” he said.

“Well, that really depends on you,” I explained.

When we got home, the Girl went pretty much straight to bed. Played with Clover, played with Elsa, then went to bed.

Helping

Tuesday 18 June 2019 | 0 Comments

Babcia informs us that L has been absolutely wonderful -- "We have a great relationship!" she proclaimed. She's put the Girl to work, ironing, cleaning, changing bed clothes in the guest rooms.

This is honestly such a relief. The Girl can be, well, a typical twelve-year-old when it comes to helping around the house. I think I expect too much of her sometimes; I think I expect too little of her other times. Even though I'm a teacher and preach this to my students constantly, I forget it with my own kids: perfection is the goal but only insofar as continually striving for it ensures we never settle. Mistakes are part of that process; half-assed jobs are part of that process; even fussing at not wanting to do it is a part of that process.

I don't want to tinker about with the dishwasher tomorrow. I don't want to move the left-over bricks into the crawlspace tomorrow. I don't want to re-mount Papa's TV tomorrow. I say these types of things to the kids every time they complain about not wanting to complete this or that responsibility, but it's often more sarcastic than it needs to be.

The Boy likes helping, but he too is starting to complain about things. We all complain. I guess that's part of it.

L

Wednesday 05 June 2019 | 0 Comments

L headed to Poland alone today. I still am surprised that she doesn’t look like this anymore.

Ending

Thursday 30 May 2019 | 0 Comments

I've never been good at endings. I've always grown sentimental, nostalgic.

Creating the long-longed-for gnome garden

When I was young and our annual church festivals came to an end, I had a hard time letting go. Always a mix of vacation and something just a bit more meaningful, they were the highlight of the year for me, and when the final day came around, I often had difficulty enjoying it because it knew it was just that -- the end. Still, there was the comfort that it would come again next year, and I could always look to that future with the hope that it would be even better than this year's. It rarely was. It was different -- not better, not worse, just different.

When I returned from Poland in 1999, the nostalgia led me to return to Poland two years later, which eventually led to my marriage to the only woman so amazing that I feel I don't deserve her in any sense of the word. Arriving again in the small village I'd called home for three years, though, I found that it was so much different than the first experience. Not better, not worse, just different.

When the school year ended when I was a beginning eighth-grade teacher in the States, I was always a little sad about the fact that I'd most likely never see those kids again. In Poland, I knew I'd see them all again -- most likely, even the seniors. It was, after all, a small village. Experience has taught me, though, that I'll fall in love with the next year's class just as much as I did with this year's class, that there will be kids who drive me nuts in that class, that there will be kids that break my heart in that class. The numbers will be different, the personalities will be different, but that's not better or worse. Just different.

Nana's passing has haunted some corner of my imagination for the last few days -- has it really only been three and a half days since she passed? it seems an eternity -- in a way that I couldn't explain until I was out for my walk with Clover this evening, listening to Sufjan Steven's absolutely brilliant album Carrie & Lowell. This is not an ending that has any hope of return, any hope of a re-do, any hope of a change that is simply different. It's not different; it's not better; it's just worse.

Evening Shooting

Wednesday 15 May 2019 | 0 Comments

The renovation project is nearing its end. The final exterior painting was completed today, but K decided she wanted to change one color -- the trim around the new windows will soon match the color of our newly-painted shutters.

The brown shutters seem to tone everything else down. Those old, peeling, white shutters just made the house look unplanned and neglected. With freshly-washed brick and newly-painted shutters, the house doesn't really look like it's from the late sixties -- except for the architecture, that is.

In the evening, some shooting.