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the girl

First, Last, Only — Tired

The real challenge in trying to live each day as if it were the one day you chose to return to and relive -- in other words, to live each day as if it were your first, last, and only day on Earth -- is how utterly tiring it is. If you wake up and say to yourself, "I'm going to live today like it's the only day of my existence," you're going to want to try to squeeze every drop of life out of every single moment. You're not going to want to waste time sitting around, doing nothing.

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When you go to the pool with your family, for example, you're not going to sit in a deck chair, slowly drifting into near-sleep, with the only thing really stopping you being the fact that you have contact lenses in. You're not going to sit on the side of the pool watching your family have a good time.

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You're going to get in and swim, like E did today. Even though he was exhausted. Even though he'd had no nap and so was incredibly exhausted.

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It's not that you'd live that day always on the go, but it seems like quiet moments of the day would be at the very least contemplative and not sleepy.

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And you certainly wouldn't waste any part of precious final evening watching some silly show from the History Channel about the supposed evidence that ancient civilizations created all their glorious monuments with the aid of extraterrestrial assistance. Sure, you might have the thought when you see the show on Netflix, "Hum, I wonder if they've tightened up that little theory since von Daniken popularized the theory in the early seventies with books like Chariots of the Gods?," and you might be tempted to watch it to see if von Daniken himself makes an appearance (he doesn't). But you wouldn't actually watch it

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But since it's not my first, last, and only day on Earth, I do get another shot at it tomorrow.

Plans, Rain, and Barszcz

It's usually not until the end of the day, when it's too late, that I realize I haven't been living my life that day as if I had chosen, out of all days, to relive that one day. It's not until I'm with L, working through our examen (which we have re-initiated with our reunion after a summer break) that I see that I've been going through the day relatively blindly. I look back on the day at that point and realize I wasted time and energy wallowing about in this or that negative emotion, letting this or that frustration take control. I look back, I see these things, I promise to do better the next day, and I promptly forget.

During tonight's, though, it occurred to me that I'd been constantly aware of how lovely the day was as it unfolded. I rode my bike to school and was pleasantly surprised at my average speed. I had a long productive meeting with the other teachers on our instructional team, planning a multi-disciplinary unit that might not only teach some academic skills but also affect change in the kids' lives. Despite the afternoon rain, I made it back to the house relatively dry. I had a lovely dinner with my family, marveling at how the kids both devour beet-root soup, which seems unimaginable given the pickiness of L. We had a pleasant walk after dinner, with the kids scooting ahead and returning on their various vehicles.

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And then, during our examen, I looked down at our wiry, energetic (often frustratingly so), intelligent daughter, and I realized that simply being around all the wonderful people in my life should be enough to make me aware of the marvelously blessed life I have. I have incredible colleagues at work; I always work with a great group of students; I have children that make me beam; I married a woman that constantly astounds me; I have parents that give to our own family unconditionally. I am lacking nothing. We are lacking nothing. Nothing of any importance. Simply being aware of this is the trick to having a great day, day after day.

Tiring

Since everyone has returned, the trampoline in the backyard has seen a lot of action.

It's good for everything: exercise, laughs, and coordination.

The Boy especially has improved his coordination.

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The Old Man has regained a skill or two as well.

Approahing Floriańska

As you emerge from the tunnel that passes under the intersection of Westerplatte, Pawia, Baszowa, and Lubicz streets in Krakow, you emerge into a green park that surrounds the old city center. All tourists who arrive from a train or a bus must walk this way, and it's the logical place for buskers, solicitors, and beggars to line the wide sidewalk and compete for attention. There's always an accordion player or three along the way, numerous students working for a few extra groszy by handing out fliers, and beggars. One tends to grow accustomed to them all. "Dziękuję," you learn to say politely and briskly to the students who are near enough that you can't simply ignore. The buskers merge with the city traffic and the general conversation to form an ignorable element of the soundtrack, unless a given performer is really gifted. And the beggars: they're everywhere. The conscience hardens, especially when you suspect their motives. (Beginning in the nineties, some younger beggars were more honest, holding placards that simply read "Piwo" with "Beer" possibly scratched underneath for foreigners.)

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But some of them get to you.

Last week, as we were walking the kids towards the old city center, we passed by an elderly woman sprawled on the sidewalk, her hands shaking violently and her medicines spread out in front of her.

"Why is she shaking?" L asked.

"She's sick, honey," K replied.

We took a few more steps and realized what we'd done.

"Here," I said, giving L a couple of five-zloty coins. "Go take this to her."

The Girl grabbed the Boy by the shoulders. "Come on, E," she said solemnly. They went back and clanked the two coins into the small metal box that held a handful of change. Hopefully, a small, quiet lesson for them.

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Helping with Canning

The Boy loves helping. He insisted on helping Babcia prepare sour cherries for canning.

The Girl got in on the action, too.

Pyzówka Ognisko

The day started with a walk. The walk. The walk we go on several times while we're here. The walk K and I took together countless times before moving to the States. That walk.

It starts in "town," so to speak, with fairly common rural Polish views -- the metal worker neighbor who also raises ducks and chickens in his yard. K's parents used to have a similar little farm where they raised chickens, rabbits, the occasional pig. During the Communist period, there were so few goods in the shop that it really was the only way to have access to certain items on a reliable basis.

But within a few moments, the walk leads us into the fields, away from any house. Or at least it used to be that way. These days, the houses are moving further and further into the fields. People are converting beet or potato fields into lots.

But it's still fairly rare to find single houses out in the middle of a field. They still tend to clump together near the two main roads that go through Jabłonka. We went out in search of mud, getting the kids dressed out in gum boots and jackets, and both kids were completely convinced that we'd find plenty of mud.

We walked among fields of potatoes and various grasses

but in the end, we could only find a few mud puddles. And when we did find puddles, the kids took turns in the small puddles.

In the end, we walked probably close to two and a half miles and had only a little mud on the gum boots to show for it.

In the evening, we headed back to Pyzówka to visit with K's nearly-sister and a mutual friend from Warsaw whom they met more than twenty years ago at a summer camp and stayed in touch since. The last time the three couples got together, we were, more or less, just that. Three couples. One couple had become a family, but the rest of us were childless and thus, in a certain sense, without responsibility.

Ten years later and among the three couples, six kids are running around. Well, five kids running around and a beautiful nine-month-old taking turns in everyone's arms.

There were some things that were fairly standard: there was a cook out over an open fire with plenty of meat.

The amount of meat in the average Pole's diet always made me wonder about those Poles who were vegetarian. These days, that's a much easier dietary choice. In the mid-90s, it seemed to me that for a rural Pole to be vegetarian, it meant essentially eating potatoes and cabbage and cheese.

Going into the average rural shop in the midst of winter seemed to confirm that suspicion, but perhaps it was just a linguistic issue: I really wouldn't have been able to ask freely about winter vegetarian dietary options that first winter.

This time around, I'm not the one having linguistic difficulties. The Girl has blossomed into a fairly fluid speaker, but the Boy still struggles. When playing with children, he tends to keep fairly quiet, occasionally saying things like, "Watch this!" but mostly being a silent participant.

But L was the same way, if memory serves, so I'm not terribly worried about it, and K is not concerned at all.

The day ended with the promise of a beautiful sunset, but unfortunately, the cloud cover returned, and it was a typical gray affair.

But that's okay too. I always grow a little nostalgic when I return to Poland, and the gray, cold days filled with the smell of coal smoke as people heat their houses in early July fits that nostalgia just fine.

Six Kids, One Mom, and a Babcia

All the kids in the immediate family (plus one from the other side) are now at Babcia's. That means six kids and two adults.

There are the chores, and with four bigger kids, that means the love is spread out through the day. The boys take the morning, the girls take the evening.

Boys' turn
Girls' turn

Time for an electronic break -- television and computer. The twenty-first century generation.

Afterward, an outing to visit Dziadek's grave and pick up some treats on the way home.

And to end the day, some silliness in the yard.

Nowy Targ Afternoon

Every time we go to Poland, we do the same things -- and I make that observation. Yet Poland is changing, growing. It's got one of the strongest economies in Europe now, and when that simple fact is coupled with additional funds that come from the EU, it's easy to understand why. Yet this is the second day that I look at the pictures and say, "Where in the world is that?" I know where it is: K told me in an email what they did today, and I knew about the afternoon visit long before. But the first part? They're in Nowy Targ, but where in the world is this park?

I do see one thing that's not a mystery: the Boy being a gentleman, helping a young friend -- dare we say a cousin? After all, K and D are as close to sisters as you might possibly be without an actual genetic bond.

It's easy to identify the location of the second batch of pictures: the rynek in Nowy Targ. Yet had I not known about the renovations, I never would have guessed it. Until I saw the ice cream: NT has a little hole in the wall with the best ice cream on the planet.

Finally, at the end, familiar faces, familiar location.

Babcia’s Day

Not having a driver's license, Babcia is not able to go where she wills when she wills. For the last few days, K has been taking the lead, I believe, more or less deciding on the agenda. Today was Babcia's day.

She wanted to visit a friend. Where? I can't recall, and the area doesn't really look familiar at all. There's a restaurant -- karczma it would be called -- that looks like a place near Spytkowice, but I don't think Spytkowice has apartment blocks like that.

So odd to be looking at your own family's pictures but not really knowing much more than a stranger at times.

Playgrounds don't tell you much, but the architecture of the wooden buildings shows that it's still in the general area K grew up, still in the mountains.

Perhaps you should ask K.

Ząb 2015