the girl
Good Friday 2025
County Meet
Barefoot
Prom, First Batch
L and her friends let me take some prom pictures of them. This is the first batch I’ll upload here.
Senior Night Track Meet
Sunday
Meet
Scholarship Information
Charleston Spring
We spent yesterday and today in Charleston — a favorite destination when we have a bit of time, a bit of money, and an itch to travel. Only three hours away, it’s a perfect weekend destination.
And even when it’s too cold to go into the water, we have to spend some time on the beach.
We gave the new camera a bit of a workout. It’s a steep learning curve: there are a lot more possibilities than our older cameras (focus modes, for instance), and it’s taking us a while to get used to everything.
Still, the size, the image quality — I think it was a good choice for us as are kids grow up. I won’t be needing to take any more volleyball pictures, and for soccer, I’ll still likely reach for the Nikon given the lens options we have.
Still, for our trip to Greece and Poland this summer, only one camera and one lens.
We took a couple of walks,
I took some pictures of the waves,
and then we headed downtown. The kids wanted to do a little shopping; K and I just split up with them and helped out. Afterward, there was only one place to go before heading back:
Hyman’s — probably the most famous seafood place in Charleston. I almost always order the same thing: there’s only one variant. I’ll always have mussels; I always take the deviled crab; after that, the third is the only variant. Today, I had the salmon croquette. All delicious.
K ate light — too mush sushi the night before.
The Boy, being the Boy, decided to try something new: crawfish. He wasn’t thrilled. He ate them, but decided it was too much work for too little return.
Spring Sports Saturday
A Walk and a Dress
Polska 2011 Revisited
Heading Out for a Walk
The Boy and I headed out for a walk after dinner. We took the dog, we chatted about school, keyboards (as in computer keyboards — a recent interest of the Boy’s), district band tryouts (tomorrow evening), and random topics (as if that list weren’t random enough). It was another of those “how many more times do we do this?” moments. The Girl didn’t go with us because she had gone to her boyfriend’s house to watch a movie with him.
Everyone’s role slowly shifts.
2025 Day 1
We always like to begin the new year with something outside. Last year, we were at Hilton Head with Babcia; the year before, we were hiking somewhere — can’t remember the name. This year, with L still recovering (though she’s mostly fine now) and the Boy feeling a bit reluctant, K and I went for a short walk at our favorite park, just the two of us. And the dog.
And a lot more people than usual. But can you blame them? A beautiful New Year’s Day with temperatures in the mid fifties and a blue sky — of course, you’re going outside.
In the evening, we decided on a family movie — a classic. Well, not quite. But the kids had never seen Titanic, and it’s such a 90s film that both K and I have memories of and — well, okay. There’s no reason to watch that film except for the sinking scene.
The Boy watched about half an hour; we made it to the halfway mark. We’ll finish it Friday or Saturday — tomorrow is a sleepover for the Boy. We’ll have a house filled with kids.
Boys. Twelve-year-olds…
Wigilia 2024
Going into Wigilia sick is no fun. K was ill during the 2011 Wigilia, and I had to make the barszcz as a result. It was probably not as good as K’s.
Still worse than heading into Wigilia sick is going into it after an operation. The Girl’s last Wigilia here as a full-time resident of our house and it was a struggle for her — the whole day.
She stayed in her room for most of the day. “I’m saving my energy for tonight,” she explained.
Evening came and she put some nice clothes on, came down stairs, and had dinner with us. After soup, she took a break in the living room, but she came back for the fish.
When it came time for the gifts, she lay on the couch and smiled as E passed out all the gifts she’d bought for everyone.
That was a bit of a role change: she’s always been so thrilled to get the gifts (what kid isn’t?), but tonight, she was more enjoying watching everyone else open her gifts.
The Girl is growing up. In fact, how long can we continue calling her “the Girl”? Isn’t she legally an adult now? A woman?
But some things never change. Wigilia never changes. The same food every year. Perhaps a different fish — trout this year. Or did we have trout last year as well?
And the same faces around the table, with one exception — a new guest this year.
So if some things don’t always change, if some things just stay the same seemingly forever, I guess the Girl can remain the Girl in our eyes indefinitely.
And what of the Boy this year? He retained his role as the gift distributor, but his voice is a little deeper now when he hands someone a gift.
But some things with the Boy don’t change: he’s still the most grateful gift-receiver.
Everyone, happy with their gifts, discussed whether to go to Mass tonight or tomorrow. They all decided on tomorrow, so we watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. The girls’ pick. I hadn’t seen it since I watched it in the theater, I don’t think.
I checked the release date of the film: 1989. I was two years younger than the Girl is now. And like that, those thirty-five years disappeared.
The movie ended, and like that, yet another Wigilia was over. Everyone slowly went their own ways.
Another Wigilia.
Another little bit of perfection.
Eighteen Years Old
Eighteen years ago, the Girl was just that — a newborn treasure, a gift we were to cherish, a future wrapped in a little bundle. That day, she couldn’t open her eyes yet; today, she couldn’t drive to school because her car was in the shop. How things have changed.
That day, my mother and father became Nana and Papa. Their first grandchild had just entered our world, and they were thrilled, ready to laugh at the slightest thing, unwilling to let L out of their sight. Now Nana and Papa are no more, unable to see the strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman the Girl has become.
That day, her future was unclear but promising. Today, there is more clarity, there is more promise, but still more mystery.
18th
Tonight, I believe, was a last of sorts. L had her eighteenth birthday party, and from what I can see, it might be the last birthday party we throw for her. Well, not the last: we’ll throw her parties for as long as we can, but the last time we do it while she’s still living at home.
This was a party the Girl herself planned in large part. She picked the restaurant. She decided which items would be on the menu. She made the guest list and reservations. And for the most part, we were non-participants: the kids stayed in a private room and we took the Boy to the main dining room of the restaurant and went back only when it was time to have the cake.
So different from the parties of the past. In a sense, then, the progression of our parties was a metric for the progression of the Girl. Her first birthday party was completely on us (naturally); her eighteenth, (almost) completely on her. It’s another of those “letting go” moments.
But I can’t say I mind letting this go: it’s nice to see her pick up responsibilities we’ve always taken care of. It’s another sign she’s maturing.
Another sign of maturing: of the guests she invited (and those who came), we knew only a couple. It wasn’t a question of us simply not making the guest list as we used to; we didn’t even know the guests in some cases. Sure, we might have heard the kid’s name, but we didn’t necessarily know who was who. And that’s as it should be as the Girl moves into adulthood.
“The Girl.” I’ve called her that for so long that I can’t think of a time I didn’t call her that. Legally speaking, come Monday, she’ll no longer be the Girl but the Woman. Legally speaking.
Emotionally speaking, she will always be the Girl.
Elf
Elf has made his yearly appearance, but this year, he seems just to be hanging out in the living room.
“I know it’s you and mom!” the Boy explained last year. And the year before that.
“But still, it’s fun, isn’t it?”
But this year, there it sits. Not moving. Not hiding.
Another sign that everyone is growing up. The traditions of Christmas slowly fall away. The Girl used to write a letter to Santa and leave out a snack. I can’t remember the last time she did that. The Boy searched for Elf. I can remember the last time he did that, but it seems to be just that — the last time.
Should we resist this? Should we try to cling to these things even after the kids have outgrown them? I think not. It’s time to move on, to grow up, to pick up new traditions.
Downtown
