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Prank

PenJust before my senior year in college, I invested in a beautiful fountain pen: a Cross Townsend. I later learned that somehow I got the pen for almost half the actual price thought a pricing mistake or something. Now a new one costs roughly four times what I paid.

That pen accompanied me through Europe and was instrumental in recording thoughts about Strasbourg, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam, and a number of other cities.

For twelve years, I’d never even misplaced it.

Today, at work, it was stolen. Or was it?

I had inadvertently left it by my computer, tucked in a notebook I’d been using for notes during a training session we’d had on Friday. After four of the lads had been using the computer, it was missing.

“Stealing is not beneath some of them,” I’d been told. Still, is that something one really wants to communicate to one’s students? “Alright, you jerks — I don’t trust any of you. Who stole my pen?!” Not the best way to build relationships with young men in need of help.

Instead, I gathered the lads together, told them that my pen was missing, and asked them if any of them saw it, to put it on my desk and then let me know it’s there.

A few minutes later, a boy came to ask me if I’d checked in all the desk drawers. “Maybe someone put it there — you know, like a joke.”

Sure enough, in the second drawer was the pen.

A prank? A bit of mercy? Misunderstanding or malice?

So much of our lives is inexplicable like that. Indefinable. Was this a reconsidered theft? Was it a joke? All I know is the pen was missing and then it wasn’t. Almost like I lost it…

Still, for safe measure, I unplugged my SanDisk memory stick and put it in my pocket.

I want to trust these boys, to give them the benefit of the doubt. But at what point does trust become naivety?

Taking the Bait

I really don't get it. It's conceivable that eventually religious leaders would realize that everything Madonna does in her performances is calculated provocation. That when she is on stage, she is performing and part of her performance persona is to be provocative.

Religious leaders in Rome have united against the mock-crucifixion featured in US pop star Madonna's latest show.

In the sequence, Madonna appears on a giant cross wearing a crown of thorns.

Father Manfredo Leone of Rome's Santa Maria Liberatrice church told Reuters news agency it was "disrespectful, in bad taste and provocative". BBC

"Provocative." Yes, Father, that's the whole point.

What is wrong with simply ignoring her? Would that rile her more than "censuring" her?

Fair Game

Someone could kidnap me, blindfold me, and drive me to the parking lot, and I’d know within seconds where I was. All I’d have to do is look at one car’s tail end — the excessive number of bumper stickers would tell me one thing: I’m in Earth Fare‘s parking lot.

Organic is trendy, there’s no doubt about it. After all, there are only so many people who can afford to do all their shopping at a place where four bags of groceries can cost you $202, as it did with the couple ahead of me this afternoon. When you pull park your car, you’ll notice that the number of cars completely plastered over with bumper stickers is rivaled only by the number of Lexuses (Lexi?), Mercs, and assorted vehicles that probably cost more per month to insure than I pay for my monthly rent.

Still, stores like The Good Life and Earth Fare ideally cater to their original, dreadlocked clientele. That’s why there’s a balding, middle-aged banker or accountant — white collar for sure — outside the entrance playing pseudo-Eastern tunes on a recorder, with a henna woman set up right across from him. Even one of the managers has dreads to his waist and a Talmudic beard.

It’s all so, so, earthy.

Conspicuously earthy.

That’s why I don’t like it.

Every time I’m too lazy to go downtown to the one good bakery in the whole city, I stop off at Earth Fare to buy a four dollar loaf of bread. And I can’t help but as if feel everyone’s acting. As if the majority of the people are shopping there to be seen shopping there.

Organic beer that costs nine bucks for a six pack. Organic beef that vegetarians buy for their dogs — I’ve heard them admitting it, as if they’re almost worried that someone might think, “Oh, what a cretin, eating meat” — that costs an absurd amount per pound. Organic everything. Vegan everything. Vegan beer.

I’m just waiting for the vegan parking lot.

Making Us Proud

Our local minor league team, the Asheville Tourists (?!?), made national news. Rather, the manager did.

Sign Language

I find it interesting that so many of the signs in yesterday's anti-immigration-reform protest explicitly gave "proof" of the validity of the opposition's argument. In other words, the cries, "They don't assimilate! They don't even learn the language!" were born out in so many of the signs that protesters carried.

Now, I'm not an advocate of creating legislation that makes English the official language of America, but one would think that this time, of all times, would be when immigrants use English. And I'm not even suggesting that it should be even close to correct English.

And that's why I love the sign at right so much.

(Pictures swiped from NYT. Click on them for larger versions.)

Effective R&D

Excerpts from an article from Bloomberg.com:

  • crude supplies will stay tight through the end of the decade.
  • The situation will persist until 2010.
  • Oil prices have climbed 23 percent to more than $75 a barrel this year
  • Persian Gulf states that don’t allow international companies to develop their oil reserves, such as Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, should invest more to expand output themselves,
  • The International Energy Agency’s Mandil told reporters today in Doha that OPEC would “just about” meet the expected 25 percent growth in global demand over the next three years. (Source)

The most amazing quote is the third:

Persian Gulf states that don’t allow international companies to develop their oil reserves, such as Saudi Arabia and Kuwait, should invest more to expand output themselves

They’re making billions at these prices. Why the hell should they increase output? Eat up their resources for decreased revenue? There’s absolutely no incentive for them to do so.

Oh, this is all just cruel justice for America, which has grown fat and lazy on its cheap gas. Think about it — gas is just now getting to be more expensive than milk! We’ve brought it on ourselves with our short-sightedness. We’ve had almost thirty years to prepare for this oil crisis that is revving up, but what did we do instead?

Invent the SUV.

Tyranny and Giggles

The funny thing about conspiracy theories is that their existence disproves them. World governments, fluoridated water, governmental control of drug trafficking, Illuminati plans for world domination — all are simply and easily disproved with one simple question: “How would I get this information?”

Take Alex Jones’ New World Order conspiracy: the global elite (which he calls the Illuminati, the Bilderberg group, the Bohemian Grove, and any number of other terms depending on who knows what) have been out since the turn of the century to take over the world. Highlights of the theory:

  • Communism was a creation of international bankers at the turn of the 20th century to submit people to a police state.
  • Hitler was simply playing his small role in the grand scheme of world domination.
  • The Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11 were planned and executed by the U.S. government in order to justify a gradual implementation of a police state.
  • The U.S. government has been systematically poisoning its citizens through chem trails, fluoridation of water, vaccinations, and other methods.
  • Cartoons are systematically conditioning children to chip implementation and complete police-state control of citizens’ every move.

Look at that — everyone’s involved, even sworn enemies. Communists and Fascists are on the same team. Clinton and Bush are two sides of the same evil. Conspirators and secret police are everywhere, watching our every move and…

And clamping down on anyone who exposes them? Well, that would make sense. If someone has untangled the whole ugly scheme and presented it to the world, he should be shut up immediately, right? One word and it’s silence. After all, if the federal government can engineer 9/11 and coordinate it all in real time from World Trade Center 7 (as Jones asserts), then they can easily take out a radio host and make it look like a natural death.

And there’s the rub: the fact that people like Jones can carry on continually like he does shows the conspiracy doesn’t exist. Jones has made many “documentaries” and written books about the coming New World Order tyranny, detailing their plans and warning people about it, and yet this supposed world group, which has conspired to kill millions, hasn’t shut him up?

Cold, Colder, Getting Colder

Notes from my journal after watching a little of TBN's "Praise-A-Thon" (View online, if you dare.) before heading off to bed.

If you throw enough vagueness out, some of it is going to stick. Those who claim to speak with the dead rely on this. It’s called a cold reading. Most people are worried about love, health, and money. Stick to those topics and say that something -- the ghost of a loved one, the Holy Ghost, or anything really -- is providing you with insights about a given individual’s love life or heart condition, and there’ll surely be someone listening who’s now convinced you’re talking to him.

Cold reading involves asking questions then repeating back the answers in a way that makes a subject think the reader -- a psychic or faith healer -- got that information from some third party -- God, Uncle Marvin, whomever.

James Randi provides the following example:

Reader: Did your husband linger on in the hospital, or did he pass quickly?

Subject: Oh, he died almost immediately!

Reader: Yes, because he's saying to me, “I didn’t suffer. I was spared any pain.” ("Source)

Later, the subject will be convinced that the reader “knew” her husband passed quickly and without pain. Randi explains that readers’ success stems from their manipulation of your perception:

So, you see, it's your perception of what's actually being done, rather that the reality of the procedure, and your ignorance of other subtle clues and methods, that misleads you in your observations of these "psychics. (ibid)

Of course what on-air televangelists do is significantly different, because they’re just getting “the word” from “the Lord” as they’re preaching. They don’t get immediate feedback, so they stick to the ultra vague. “A heart condition has just been corrected,” a televangelist might say, and anyone with a diagnosed heart condition sitting at home will be convinced he’s talking about her. And all she has to do is show a little faith and that healing will come to fruition. And how is that faith shown?

Once the money is offered and the healing doesn’t come to pass, why not call back and ask for your money back? Simple -- it’s your fault you weren’t healed because you really didn’t believe. Or your still living for the devil. Any number of clever explanations.

Protection

Bird flu is coming! It's just around the corner of the globe and soon we'll be dropping like cliches.

Fortunately, you can protect yourself.

That kind of thinking is certainly already motivating marketing execs.

While looking for respirators for painting and staining, I found this.

Protesting Protesters

Here in Asheville Saturday we had what one blogger called a "Hatefest." It was, in short, a rally to support family values -- in other words, condemn homosexuality.

With his Bible tucked under his arm like so many others around him, Jim Ballard stood in the middle of Pack Square to stand “for what the word of God stands for… not against anyone, but against sin.”

Ballard joined a crowed of more than 200 assembled downtown on Saturday to support Wolf Laurel Ski Resort and other businesses that defend their right to choose not to employ homosexuals.

Wolf Laurel fired a lesbian couple after they placed a wedding announcement in the local paper upon returning from Massachusetts. Apparently the proprietors of the resort a "good Christians" and fired the wretched, evil lesbians. Sparking a protest. Which in turn sparked a protest.

“They are trying to make a statement so we as Christians are trying to make a statement,” said Wendell Runion, president of International Baptist Outreach Missions Inc. and organizer of the event.

Runion, who also spoke at U.S. Rep. Charles Taylor’s prayer breakfast earlier the same day, said the rally was not meant to debate the issue of homosexuality and same-sex marriage, but to make a declaration solidly against it.

Taylor, R-Brevard, said he was supportive of “Christian businessmen trying to be Christian in their work lives as well as in their personal lives” when asked about the rally. Taylor did not attend the rally. (Citizen Times)

That sort of talk -- "We're not here to debate it, but to oppose it!" -- makes me think of, say, the Taliban.

Doubt that?

Combine it with the dominion theology of Rod Parsley and others, and it's clear to see that a theocracy is their ultimate goal.

As the cliche goes, "God, save us from your followers."

See Citizen Times article and BlogAsheville for more info.