Matching Tracksuits

fun in fours

friends

Scouts

Coming home from scouts tonight, the Boy and I had a conversation about friendship. He talked to me a bit about what happened to Malfoy in the third book of the Harry Potter series, which K is currently reading to him. Apparently he got mauled by some creature.

"Oh, that's not good," I said.

Practicing his two half-hitches

"But Malfoy is bad!" E clarified.

"Yes, but that's no reason to wish ill of him. Besides, he might not turn out that bad by the end of it all." I knew this from conversations I'd had with L about the series, but I didn't want to give anything away to the boy.

"Yeah, L told me that he and Harry become friends in the end."

Learning how to use a handsaw

So much for not giving it away.

"That's sort of like T and me," the Boy continued. "We didn't use to like each other. Well, we really didn't know each other, but then we got to know each other and decided to become friends."

I thought about that for a moment, pondering the choice of words: "decided" to become friends. I imagined this conversation between the two boys, a negotiation of sorts.

It's hard to imagine, isn't it?

T might not even be aware that in E's eyes, they "decided" to become friends. For all I know, T might not even consider E his friend but merely an acquaintance.

Sawing

Kids and adults see friendship differently, I think. I feel I'm more jaded than I can imagine him ever being. That's the magic of childhood, I guess.

Sunday with Friends

In many regards, they might as well be sisters.

After all, our kids refer to each other as cousins, and they’re here for all the major holidays.

If that doesn’t make us family, I don’t know what does.

Morning

Post-Christmas Saturday

Party

Party!

Graduation and fiftieth birthday.

Afternoon Downtown

Conestee Afternoon

Rainy Sunday

"We can't stay for choir practice because we have family visiting," K explained to the choir director this morning after Mass. As the dedication of the new church is only weeks away now, after-Mass choir practice has really ramped up. But today, we decided L could miss it. Because of family.

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Of course, M and her daughters are not related to us in any other sense beyond her being E's godmother and sharing the same adventure as K of being a Pole in America. But they're still family. We spend holidays together; we know (or rather, K and M know) rather intimate details about each others' lives; we've shared the same struggles at times.

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You choose your friends; you don't choose your family. It's a truism that gets both sides of the equation right and wrong: because you don't choose your family, it can be more difficult to love them and more important. (Note: such is not the case here.) Because you choose your friends, the relationships are more valuable and more fragile. That's why close friends and family blurry the lines: these relationships have both elements.

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So time with this kind of family is precious: E gains two more sisters for a weekend, and L gains siblings more her age. And because they're more like family than friends, there's no compunction in telling L that she's being a pain in the back side (which she can be) or telling E that he's got to share his new siblings (which is is reluctant to do).

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Cousins

So they say. More or less.

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