Once upon a time there lived a man named Ned who worked as a dispatcher for a southern county's municipal services. One day, after a rare snowfall, Ned received a call from an elderly lady eagerly waiting for the county Tree Shakers.
"Will you please send the Tree Shakers out to my home as soon as possible?" she asked.
"Um, mam, I'm not quite sure I understand you."
"Oh, you know -- my trees are filled with snow and I'm afraid the branches will start breaking. I need the Tree Shakers to come out shake all the snow out of my trees."
"Ah, I see. Well, mam, all our Tree Shakers are out on call at the moment, but the instant one radios in that he's done, I'll send him straight over to your place."

When the next one's available, Ned, send him over here.
That's an exaggeration, though, because it does work. It just never works when we leave for a long period of time. It doesn't matter what we do -- turn off the heat completely or turn down the thermostats -- the results are the same: it won't turn on when we get home. Or rather, it won't turn back on wants it thinks the temperature is correct. It'll crank up, blow hot air for a while, and then shut off. For good. But not quite -- it's still running. I go outside and put my hand on the exhaust vent (which blows out a fair amount of warm air when it's working) and it's cold, though the exhaust fan is working.















