matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

Coming Storm

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With the coming hurricane, which won’t necessarily affect us with wind but might dump some rain on us, I decided I needed to speed up the plan for re-treating the deck with water repellent. I didn’t really need a little helper, but that never really matters: the Boy will help. Period.

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The good thing about today was that there were no worries about potential streaking or such: the bare wood drew the water sealant in as if we were applying it to sand.

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Afternoon

The Girl came home and did homework.

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The Boy came home and played.

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At the Dinner Table

We sit around a few tables during a planning period and talk about how to use the data we've received from this year's fall MAP testing, a test which provides information about skill levels of our students. There's a general score that summarizes everything called the RIT score. (I don't know what it stands for.) That in turn can be correlated to grade levels by looking at national norms. For the longest time, eighth grade nation norms were 220 at the beginning of the year and 222 at the end. This year, the re-calculated norms have fallen three points. In addition, the data show that in a single, mixed-group classroom (something like science or social studies that is not grouped according to ability), a teacher can have a student reading at the kindergarten level and another reading at the level of a college sophomore, with all the other levels mixed in.

How does one teach a group like that?

There is a predictable corollary to that: the students who read at a second-grade level often behave on a second-grade level. Or perhaps worse, because they exhibit second-grade behavior in nearly-adult size bodies. A dangerous combination at times.

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At the dinner table, we talk about our day. L tells us the latest adventures with Timmy, a student who moved here recently from up north and has been seated in L's group. He refuses to work. He's mean to other students. He cursed at a teacher today. He flagrantly disobeys. I suggest that he's probably acting out because he doesn't want to be there, and he's hoping his behavior will somehow get him moved back up north. It's a fairly logical assumption. But here's the thing: his behavior is affecting my child's education. The teacher is having to take time out of instruction to deal with him.

"He's even worse that Demarcus, and I thought he was bad." Demarcus has been the subject of a few stories, and I've found myself thinking that I have a few older versions of him in my classes. Struggling in class. Unable to work and so entertains himself. It's a common cycle, a chicken-egg mystery by the time they reach my classroom: does the behavior cause the low academic achievement or does the low academic achievement cause the behavior? It's probably a bit of both.

I kept my story to myself and let E tell how Jameson picked a scab in class and now it will bleed forever. I love how he's always trying to join in "adult" conversations. He aims, shoots, and hits the target but generally only grazing it on the side.

E's problem is relatively insignificant; L and I, though, are facing the same issue from two different sides of the desk at two different ends of the same problem. What I can do as a parent is quite different than what I can do as a teacher.

But there's a third role: citizen. This is an issue that is larger than just my school, L's school, our district, our state. It's likely the condition of the majority of schools around the country.

It's hard not to be pessimistic about this reality.

Sleeping

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Sort of.

October Sunday

Last week was Polish Mass, so it was a lazy morning. This week, no such luck. With Mass beginning at nine, we have to wake up early; with L singing in the children's choir -- which is, on most Sundays, the primary choir for the morning Mass -- she as to be there thirty minutes earlier, which means an even earlier start. Today, with K still coughing, we decided just L and I would go. The Boy woke up at seven with us anyway, and insisted, as he often does, on helping with breakfast.

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With the new church our newly adopted parish is building soon to be completed, the choir is rehearsing for the dedication Mass in November, which means an hour-and-fifteen-minute practice after Mass with the adult choir. So it was a little after twelve when we made it back home for rosół and a bit of relaxation.

Of course, the Boy was busy when we arrived. He'd decided that he wanted to build the ultimate train track, a track that began in his room and ran down the entire hallway. It was a challenge due to the lack of straight pieces in his collection, but he managed to find a way.

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"It's a crazy, curvy track," he explained. And as I watched, I saw that he was very deliberate his his placement, always making sure that each piece turned the opposite way as the previous to make a drunken, crazy track in between the straight spots. He wanted to turn it around and head back down the hall, but he didn't have enough pieces.

When it came time to clean up, though, we had an issue. "I need help cleaning up!" was the fussy cry coming from the hall. "You didn't need help making the mess. You can do it!" was the choral response. But he couldn't clean it up the way he wanted to clean it up. He was stacking piece after piece and then trying to pick it all up at once. When the pieces of track tumbled over, his frustration exploded.

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L was the same way. It's only recently that she began to see that she doesn't have to solve problems using the first solution that comes to mind. She's realized that she can make multiple trips from the car to the house instead of precariously carrying every single thing at once, to use a fairly common example.

The Boy, though, was insistent. It was only with a threat -- stop fussing and just clean it up or lose it -- that he finally relented and gave in on his original plan. Was that wrong? Should I have helped him realize it for himself? Should I have helped him realize his plan? At the time, I didn't give it much thought -- the soup was almost ready and everyone was terribly hungry. Perhaps I could have done a better job. Maybe next time.

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After lunch and a coffee, I took the Boy exploring. I finally managed to ask our relatively new neighbor if he minded us traipsing about his backyard, and his response was at once predictable and surprising: "No, I don't mind at all. But I really appreciate you asking. I really appreciate that." What was I going to do? It's not our property.

I tried explaining all this to the Boy as we returned to our favorite little spot by the creek in our backyard (or perhaps "backyards").

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"We always ask before we use something that's not ours."

"This is not ours?"

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Last Sunday I'd taken to the street opposite our little hiding place, hoping he'd make a mental map of where he was and figure it all out. I pointed it out to him today, but he didn't see what I was talking about, literally or figuratively.

After we'd had enough of our favorite place, we went to our newest hiding place, which also is not on our property. I haven't asked those neighbors if they mind, though, mainly because there are no neighbors. The elderly couple that lived there no longer do: the husband died, collapsing in the backyard for us to see from our backyard (what a traumatic event that was), and I'm assuming the grown children moved their mother into other arrangements. The house has been empty for a couple of years now, if not more. So the little spot that we carved out of the weeds and brush on their side of the creek might be a problem if someone lived there, but it's so deep in the brush that they likely wouldn't even notice it if they lived there.

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E asked a couple of times if it was our property where we were hiding and if we had permission to be there. I thought about trying to explain it, but in the end, I just said, "It's fine." A lie? Yes and no.

And after that hiding place, why not go to our final hiding place, behind the shrubs in the front of our house.

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Hiding, hiding, hiding. What is it about kids and hiding places? They love building "forts" on the couch, and I remember how much I enjoyed a good hiding place as a kid. Perhaps it's the bit of independence it implies, even when you're hiding with your daddy. Or perhaps it's the shared secret in such situations.

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As with last week, the Girl decided not to join us. She was working on a school project on the computer and then taking care of the tadpole -- Squirmy -- that she's been keeping in a plastic bin for a couple of weeks now. As she grows older, her independence obviously increases. I try to respect that, but sometimes I feel like it's neglect: she wants to be alone sometimes, and then when she wants to be with me, I'm busy grading papers or something similar -- or even something less significant.

This increasing independence also somewhat explains the decreasing number of pictures of her here. "Daddy, you aren't going to put that on MTS, are you?" she sometimes asks, and so I try to respect her growing sense of privacy. What happens when the Boy starts asking the same thing?

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The final picture of the day mirrored the first: the Boy helping with dinner -- leftover crepes (or naleśniki as we refer to them) that we fill with leftover chicken from the rosół and some mushrooms we sauted for pierogis later this week.

A perfect day, in short.

Before

I got the before shot, sanded the whole deck, and had no time, energy, or light to get the after shot.

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First Impressions

Dear Teresa,

You caught my eye from the very first moment I walked into the room. You were sitting at the end of one of the two-seat tables your teacher uses instead of desks, talking to your friend. It was obvious you weren't supposed to be there: the lab tables are designed for two people, not three. When I moved to the front of the classroom, clipboard in my head, obviously ready to take role, you didn't move back to your seat. I hadn't said anything earlier because I didn't want to assume you were being anything other than a friendly student who knew when to move back to her seat. So your behavior from the beginning was something that called attention to you.

When I asked you to move to your seat, you insisted that that was your seat. I'm a patient man, and I thought that perhaps you were just being a typical playful seventh grader, so I calmly and politely repeated that you needed to move to your seat. When you again insisted that you were in your seat, I saw the whole interaction unfold before me. I knew you were going to be defiant. I knew you were going to show an attitude. I knew that you were going to be disrespectful. I knew all these things because I've seen people behave like you behaved many times, and I know the behaviors that lead up to it. As I stated, I had my eye on you from the moment I walked into class because of your behavior: you called attention to yourself immediately.

Now, what was most troubling about our interaction was when I asked you what your name was. I asked you, and you said nothing. I asked you again, and you were silent. Your rigid body language said plenty, though. It said, "I will not respond to you. I will not reply." However, someone in the classroom said your name. The problem with that is simple: I wasn't asking the question "What's her name?" to the class. I was asking you, "What's your name." So when you didn't answer, you were being defiant yet again. And when I kept insisting and you finally said, "You hear my name. You hear them telling you," I knew we were close to the end.

It was our discussion in the hallway that sealed it. You refused to look at me. You answered in a very disrespectful tone. You huffed and puffed, smacking your teeth. You all but flipped me off with your behavior. Your behavior screamed profanity, screamed disrespect. I'm very sorry that you didn't see that. I'm very sorry you didn't realize the horrible things your body language was saying. However, it was at that moment that I knew there was no way to salvage the situation. I knew that, if you stayed in the room, you would not have a positive impact on the class. so I asked the administrator to take you out.

Look at the situation from my perspective: I come into your classroom during my planning period to cover for a lacking substitute teacher. I simply asked you to move to your seat. And from that, you have created a very strong and very negative first impression. Should I see your name on my role next year, it will be hard for me to start with a clean slate with you. However, that's just what I'll do, for two reasons: first, because I'm an adult. Simple as that. Second, I don't know what happened to you this morning leading up to our encounter that might have soured your whole day. I don't think I deserved for you to take it out on me, but still, you're a kid, and kids often don't have the cognitive and emotional mental tools yet to deal with such situations. (Truth be told, many adults don't either.)

So I just wanted to let you know that, should you still be a student here next year, I'll do my best to let that first impression side. But here's the thing: if that's how you always behave, you'll quickly create that same first impression with every teacher in the eighth-grade hallway, and you'll find yourself in situation after situation like the one you experienced today. You might say to that, "I don't care," and perhaps you don't. That would be a tragedy. But I think you do care.

If you'd like some help learning how to make better first (and second and third) impressions, I'd be happy to help you out. Just let Ms. Smith know, and we'll figure out something we can do.

Regards,
Your One-Period Sub

Chores

K is sick -- first time she's really been sick (stay home from work sick) in about two years. This evening, I was upstairs running water for the Boy's bath when I heard the clank of cups and glasses on the counter top.

"I'm going to kick her!" I thought. "She shouldn't be doing that!"

I went downstairs to find E, who was thirsty, emptying the top rack of the dishwasher.

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"Did Mama ask you to do that?"

"No, I just did it. I'm a gentleman."

Planning Help

My students are about to embark on a paired-down version of the short story project I've been using for years. Paired down is hardly accurate: it's radically changed. Instead of reading The Tell-Tale Heart and writing three analytic paragraphs about it, they're adding on to something they did earlier this year. More choice. Less grading. Seems like a win-win situation.

Less is sometimes more for everyone.

Looking Back

Why couldn't this have been on a Friday night? Why didn't the schedulers realize the entertainment value of this debate? Still, I think back over the years and can't understand how we got here, and yet I understand perfectly how we got here.

Yet how did our family get here?

Ten years ago, we lived in Asheville.

Morning Walk

Fifteen years ago, we lived in Poland.

Lipnica Wielka Parish Church II

And yet that's just us -- the two of us. What matters now is the four of us.