The Boy had been waiting to work on his project.
We'd been waiting for the tree to fall.
Sunday
Final Soccer Game
Looking for a Place
Everyone is looking for a place. I see it every day as a teacher of eighth-graders who try on different roles throughout the year and toy with various career goals as the months roll by. Today, we tried to help them a bit by providing a career day -- probably close to fifty professionals came in to talk to kids about what their jobs entail, what they require, how they're rewarding, how they're frustrating. A little bit of everything.
We guided our homeroom classes through three sessions, and my homeroom's second session was with a police detective. It quickly stopped being about potential jobs and transformed into a "... ever ... ?" session. Have you ever shot someone? (No, but I've pointed my gun at someone.) Do criminals ever leave notes like in movies? (No, but we've investigated some guy who was harassing females by leaving weird notes under their windshield wipers.) Have you ever been in a car chase? (Yes, but he was intoxicated and our top speed was 38 miles per hour.) Do you ever question people in those rooms with the windows that look like a mirror? (No, our interrogation room has cameras, and any officer in the building can watch the interrogation from his or her computer.) The vet and waterworks specialist didn't get a third of the questions.
The Girl is looking for her own place as well, specifically a place to improve her volleyball skills in the off-season. We as parents thought this would be fairly simple; we thought she'd get into any club she tried out for. After all, she played for her school, which went undefeated and won the final championship tournament. She'll have her pick. So why waste time trying out for more than one? We never thought about the obvious: clubs that have their regulars will choose their regulars over newcomers. And so this afternoon, I got an email:
Thank you for attending tryouts for X's 2019-20 club season. We had a record number of players trying out this year, so unfortunately we were not able to place everyone on a team. We are sorry to say that your daughter has not been selected for a X team.
I sent it to K. She texted back the obvious: "She'll be devastated." And she was. And we felt like terrible parents because we didn't do the research, didn't do the thinking. "And now all the other teams have finished tryouts -- what are we going to do?"
I was angry because I thought, "If she doesn't have the requisite skills, how is she going to get them if you don't let her on your freaking team?!"
It turned out, though, that two teams had make-up tryouts. One was at six this evening. We learned this at 5:05. So off we went.
The club owner said at the end that every girl will get some kind of offer: "If your daughter wants to play volleyball, wants to learn volleyball, we want to help." Already, I liked the team.
Evening Walk With the Kids
Rest
It took weeks, no months, longer than we expected, perhaps we could say longer than it should have taken. Miscommunication, delays, mistakes. More delays. More mistakes. It's odd: had it been any other business, I would have reacted differently, we all would have most likely, but for some reason, we found we had more patience with a mortuary. Why is that? I don't know.
I do know that Papa finally feels some closure, he said.
Tuesday
Today’s the last day of the first quarter. It’s been the same as every year: I feel like the first quarter is dragging and suddenly, we have a couple of weeks left. Once that feeling of the year speeding by settles in, I feel like the year goes by in a blink. We’re in that period of work-break-work-break that always makes the first semester seem shorter than the second. In a few days, we have two days for fall break. Then we have three weeks before Thanksgiving. That’s followed by another three weeks before Christmas. And then a few more breaks in January and February before everything dries up and we’re all dying for any kind of break at all. March and April seem endless. And it’s just October and I’m already thinking about the end of the year...
That means the Girl's birthday is approaching -- officially a teenager, with all the joys and challenges (i.e., challenges to authority) that entails. And all the changes in relationships that entails -- the pulling away that I know is coming, is already manifesting itself, that I worry is something I'm doing wrong while simultaneously reassuring myself that it's normal behavior for this age, that I acted like that at this age, that my parents and I survived it as will the Girl, K, and I (and E -- don't forget about the effect it has on him) will live through it.
Still, I find myself thinking, "How can it be ten years ago that she looked like this? It just feels like a couple..."
Reunion
We took Papa back to the old country for a family reunion this afternoon, driving on backroads so rough that I thought we must have somehow teleported to Poland in the mid-90s. It was just the boys; the girls had volleyball tryouts and exam prep to complete today. So off the three of us went to meet with family we hadn't seen in years.
Reunion
The last time we went to this particular family reunion was seven years ago. L was younger than the Boy is now, and the Boy wasn't. Nana was still able to travel, and several relatives who lived in the area still lived in the area.
Teens from that reunion are now married, likely with children. Some of them might have even been there. For me, most of them were unknown faces. Many of them were from Papa's father's brothers' families, and I had seen them only a handful of times in my life.
Still, many of them -- the older family -- knew me, of course, and came to talk to me.
"How's your dad doing?" was the common question. They asked Papa as well. His answer was never wavering: "I'm hanging in there."
Tossing with Papa
Big Brother
We got access today to some new software intended to help us rein in students’ abuse of Chromebooks. Basically, it enables all teachers to become Big Brother to students: we can see every single thing they do, block sites, shut down tabs, lock computers — the whole deal short of turning off the computer remotely. Since it’s based on time of day and rosters, I see the activity of students in, say, my fifth-period class whether or not they’re in the room: if they’re on the computer, I see it.
So when I saw one of my students who was serving in-school suspension on YouTube, I closed the tab. When he started searching for Louis Vuitton shoes, I closed that down.
When he started searching for it again, I locked his computer with the message, “You won’t be able to afford those shoes if you don’t have a good job. You’ll have difficulty getting a good job if you don’t get a good education.” After a few minutes, I unlocked his computer, and he went back to luxury shoe searches. I locked it again, leaving it locked until the end of the session.
Another student who was in the room with him was talking about how this kid’s computer kept getting locked up. “He was so mad,” this kid told his friend.
If this were a kid who normally did his work, I probably would have just ignored it. If I hadn’t just gotten access to the software (and the class hadn’t been taking a test), I probably wouldn’t have noticed it as I wouldn’t have been on the computer and wouldn’t have had the program open. Then again, if he hadn’t been in ISS, he would have been in my room, taking the test.
If, if, if…
Braces
The Girl got braces today. She wasn't happy. Neither was our bank account. But such is life for us all...
