matching tracksuits

Evangelicals are all hot and excited about Putin’s attack against Ukraine.

Never mind the ridiculously immoral thought that God is compelling all these people to commit these actions, thereby making him ultimately responsible (so much for the Christian favorite apologetic move to explain the existence of evil, “It’s free-will!”). What’s equally disturbing is his excitement at the thought of what all this means: the rapture must surely be right around the corner. And shortly thereafter, Jesus will return! Hallelujah! Putin, in such a scenario, must launch nukes at some point because almost all life on Earth has to be wiped out (at least in the version I was raised learning), so we must lift our hearts in prayer that Putin will go ahead and order that nuclear attack.

So let’s run a thought experiment. Let’s say Putin does launch a nuclear war. Let’s say it’s worst-case scenario: almost all life is wiped out. Surely in that group of survivors, there would have to be some evangelical Christians. How would they interpret this devastation? Jesus’s return was supposed to be tied into this apocalypse, they might reason. Would they stop believing, though? Would this be proof for them that their rapture idea (at the very least) was faulty?

I don’t think they would stop believing. They would have to explain it somehow, but to suggest that they were wrong all along? It seems unlikely. They might even suggest that a lot of people were raptured just before the explosions vaporized millions. That would mean, though, that they weren’t raptured. That would mean that, despite their convictions about the impossibility of the scenario, they were left behind a la the Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins fictional series. But giving up that belief? I think they might even cling to it all the more.

At this point, another line of thought: we’re going to be living under the actual threat of a nuclear holocaust for as long as Putin is alive. But even in his death, he would threaten the world: his successor, if chosen by Putin, would be someone who’s groomed in the same convictions just as happens in North Korea. There is a very real possibility that this successor would have almost identical political views and aims as Putin. In that case, we’re right back in the same situation as the evangelicals: nothing could convince them that their convictions are wrong. Which would mean that the nuclear threat would continue. Which would mean that the evangelicals would continue to find perverse excitement in the situation. Which means it’s all circular…