matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

g

Your Letter

Wednesday 11 September 2013 | 0 Comments

Dear Terrence,

I read your letter and felt it really needed a reply: you touch on a lot of issues that got me thinking, gave me hope, and honestly caused me to worry a bit.

You wrote that you “feel like people criticize [you] because of [your] past,” something which “hurts [you] to even try to change.”I don’t know what you thought I might have known about your past, but I knew nothing. I’m fairly sure the other teachers on the team knew nothing about you, either. Yet we can all accurately guess about your past because of your present. I don’t mean to be offensive or blunt, but despite your desire to change, you still exhibit a lot of behaviors that draw negative attention to yourself. I don’t know about other teachers’ rooms, but I can describe some of the things in your behavior in my room that makes it pretty clear that you’ve had a rough past in school.

  1. You often blurt out things that you’re thinking, things that might not help the classroom atmosphere.
  2. You sometimes get up and move about the room for this or that reason without asking permission or seeming to notice that doing so would be an interruption.
  3. You put your head down when you get frustrated, and even when you’re not frustrated, you cover your face with your hands and completely disengage.
  4. When I correct you, you often quickly develop a negative, disrespectful attitude that comes out in your tone of voice and your body language.

You write that you want teachers to “just give [you] a chance and stop messing with [you],” but if a teacher is correcting these behaviors, she’s not “messing” with you. You must understand that some of your behaviors genuinely disrupt the class, and a teacher cannot continue teaching over disruption.

I do have some bad news, though: while no one is messing with you, you’ve made it clear what gets under your skin, and if a teacher wanted to mess with you, wanted to provoke you so that she could write you up, you’ve made it easy for that teacher (whom I hope you never meet) to do just that.

Fortunately, I have some good news, too: letters like yours make a teacher’s day. It gives us hope that perhaps we can help make a difference in students’ lives. I don’t know a single teacher–especially the teachers on our team–who won’t go out of his or her way to help a student who wants to change his/her behavior to do just that. However (and it’s a pretty big “however”), you have to show that you are really trying to make these changes. You have to show progress on a regular basis. Not big progress; not 180 degree changes overnight. But teachers need to see that you are serious about something like this. Otherwise, we’re left wondering if you’re just playing us. I’m sure you’re not, but it has been known to happen, and teachers tend to be a bit wary about that.

Here’s what I suggest you do if you really want to be a “changed man” as you so aptly called it. First, make sure you go to each teacher and say as much to him/her. Look the teacher in the eye; make sure your facial expression is pleasant; be sure not to let yourself be distracted by anything other students might be doing; then say what you said in the letter. Second, make your strongest effort to change right then. Show the teacher you mean business. Show the teacher that you are not just talking the talk but you’re trying to walk the walk. Third, when you slip up (and you will: you’re trying to change some habits that you’ve had for a long time, I suspect), apologize. Sincerely. But not right then! If you do, the teacher is likely to think you’re just trying to disrupt further. Just smile as best you can and comply. After class, you can go to the teacher and say, “I really messed up. I appreciate your patience with me. I’ll do better next time.” Finally, make sure all your friends know what you’re up to. If you’re trying to be Mr. Thug with them but Mr. Nice Guy with your teachers, you’ll get those roles mixed up and cause yourself more trouble. Be a leader: tell your friends, “Hey, I’m sick of hating school, sick of dreading school, sick of feeling like I’m wasting time. I’m going to make some changes in how I act, how I think, how I see myself and the world.” Be a leader: show other kids how to do it. They’ll follow your example, because everyone loves to see a “troubled-kid-straightens-everything-out” story. We love it, all of us.

Understand that I’ll do everything in my power to help you. I have some tricks I can teach you about making a good impression, keeping your impulses in check, and having a positive affect. (If you don’t know what that means, ask me: I’ll gladly explain.) But as I said earlier, I and all the other teachers have to see change immediately. Not enormous change, but change. Effort.

Best of luck,
Your Teacher

Debut 2013

Tuesday 10 September 2013 | 0 Comments

Dear Terrence,

There you are! I’ve been wondering if you’d decided not to come to school at all this year, but it just turned out that you were going to a different school and hadn’t transferred to our happy classroom yet.

I thought I might have recognized you when I saw you, the new kid, walking down the hall. It was something about how you walked, how you carried yourself, how you wore your hair, how you interacted with people — hints of thug-wanna-be — that made me think, “Well, is that Terrence?” before I’d even met you.

You might have noticed that I’m trying for early intervention with you. I want to you to see early on that, despite your tendency to fly into disrespectful mini-rages when being redirected, despite your tendency to put your head down in class, despite your tendency to speak whatever comes into your mind, despite your tendency to get up and wander anywhere in the classroom you choose, I’m still on your side, I’m still hoping to help you, and I still think you can do better than you’re doing now.

You’ve got a lot to work on, though. You’ve built up a lot of bad habits that land you squarely and immediately in trouble, and you don’t seem to realize that you quickly create for yourself a reputation. Once that bad reputation is in place, few adults will give you the benefit of any doubt. I’m trying not to let that sway me, but I’ll be honest: eventually, and it might be sooner rather than later, I’ll reach a point that I decide it’s in everyone else’s best interest to get you out of the classroom through administrative referral and the accompanying suspension. In other words, I’ll get tired of dealing with the same issues again and again. You show progress, and I’ll have seemingly endless patience; otherwise, it’s going to be a long year for you in my class.

I don’t mean that to sound like a threat. It probably does to you. You’ve probably heard things like this from other teachers. Still, it’s your behavior that brings this on you. You’ll notice there are plenty of students I never have such conversations with. You can be in that group. But you’re the only one who can put yourself in that group.

Regards,
Your Teacher

Eating and Playing

Monday 09 September 2013 | 0 Comments

Misheard

Monday 09 September 2013 | 0 Comments

According to one student, Roger, a character in Langston Hughes' "Thank You, Ma'am," wants to buy some "blue swayed shoes."

Chatting

Sunday 08 September 2013 | 0 Comments

After

Sunday 08 September 2013 | 0 Comments

It's been a project we've wanted to complete for a very long time. It's been something that's shifted up and down our priority list. But eventually, we reached a point that either we get the lower portion of the driveway redone or what was unpaved would end up down the hill after repeated rain.

Starred Photos17
Starred Photos18

The great thing about it is that it included a bonus: not only is it a great place to park a car now (obviously), but it's also a great place for everyone to roller skate, to ride a scooter, or to engage in a million other wheeled- and non-wheeled- activities.

Season Opener 2013

Saturday 07 September 2013 | 1 Comment

It was a rough season opener. Not just a loss, but by soccer standards, complete destruction. But that's good: we can learn more from losing than winning, I think.

Enforcement

Friday 06 September 2013 | 0 Comments

Measure B — it sounds like something from a cheesy low-budget sci-fi, but it’s law in Los Angeles County. It requires permits from the health department for the creation of pornographic films, regular testing of participants in pornography (not sure what to call them, but “actor” certainly doesn’t seem right) for the HIV virus, and the use of condoms in all pornographic ventures. Predictably, the porn industry is against it. Porn starlet Cameron Bay’s recent positive HIV test, however, might be causing some second thoughts. ABC news has an article about it.

There is of course the question of the constitutionality of the law. “U.S. District Judge Dean D. Pregerso [ruled] last week that found Measure B’s mandatory condom requirement on all shoots in Los Angeles County to be constitutional” (Daily News), but porn company owners insist that it is a violation of their First Amendment rights.

There are of course other concerns as well. An anti-Measure-B web site makes the contention that “Measure B will hurt working, middle-class families that have been hurt hardest during the Recession” (source) but it’s hard to understand how that could be the case: I don’t think most porn stars/starlets would be considered working class. Of course there are those actually shooting, editing, packaging, and marketing the pornographic videos, and since porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, that could be a sizable number of people. (The same site suggests that the number of jobs affected would be more than 10,000.)

Whatever the argument for and against, I have some questions of my own. How will this be enforced? Will county representatives be on set for every pornographic video filming? Will they be randomly screening videos to see that actors wear condoms? Will there be pre-filming inspections? Just how will this be enforced?

Furthermore, do we really want to have our government engaging in full-time viewing of pornography? How will the county advertize the position? One shudders at the thought of the wording of such a classified.

These people are engaging in a morally questionable (at best) industry, and they’re adults: they know the risks. No one is forcing them to act in these films, so why is the government wanting to force this on them? People participating in this form of entertainment should do a risk assessment, taking into account the risks not only to their bodies but to their spirits, before embarking upon or continuing in a porn career.

Where Are You?

Wednesday 04 September 2013 | 0 Comments

Dear Terrence,

Where are you? We’ve been in school over two weeks now, and you’ve yet to show yourself. Usually, by the end of the first class I know which student (or students) will be this year’s Terrences, this years Teresas. But this year, you’re keeping it together much longer than usual. Your attitude hasn’t really come out yet. You haven’t really been disrespectful. You haven’t caused a major disruption.

Understand, I’m certainly not complaining. When you show up, often productivity in the classroom drops a bit because I’m taking more time than I know I should to deal with your behavior issues. So your ability to keep yourself under wraps this year is really a blessing in many ways.

Still, by now, you’ve usually made your appearance and I’ve already begun trying to coach and to encourage you, to give you a few new tools for your sorely-lacking social skills toolbox. But I don’t know who you are yet.

Yours,
A. Teacher