I was reading through some of the UCG materials I grabbed off the web and I came upon a few quotes last night that deserve comment. These all come from a sermon by Les McCullough given on 12 August 2000. The title of the sermon is “Prophecy” — certainly not an uncommon title among the various churches of God.

It may not be exactly as we thought in times past, we’ve talked, someone was saying the other day, I won’t mention names, that they haven’t worried about the beast since Franz Joseph Straus died because some proclaimed very loudly that he was to be the beast. And, of course, I have kidded with people, I had the opportunity to have breakfast with the beast. He never became the beast, but we did have the opportunity of having him visit the campus in Big Sandy and spending time with him and so on. Very interesting man to talk with, but he wasn’t the one. We’ve had various scenarios that we’ve established. It’s not to say that it’s not going to happen, but it may not always happen exactly the way we thought it would.

The most interesting part of that quote comes at the end: “We’ve had various scenarios that we’ve established. It’s not to say that it’s not going to happen, but it may not always happen exactly the way we thought it would.” The question becomes, “At which point do you abandon some particular idea as simply one of the various COG “scenarios” and not infallible Biblical interpretation?” 1975 came and went without a hiccup; HWA died and didn’t rise to meet Christ descending; the WCG, as HWA left it, is no more. When will these people ever say, “Perhaps it’s all just one of our ‘scenario?’” Naturally the answer to that question is “Never.” That would constitute a lack of faith.

Later in the sermon he again dances around the fact that the COG prophecies have been wrong for so long that it should be cause to start doubting them:

We could say, well, we were all wrong and take a look at that over there, and here’s what this was talking about and so on, but the fact is that there is still coming a major force in Europe that is going to become a or the major power in the world, and there is going to be a great price paid.

Once again — “Well, it didn’t happen when we said it would happen, but mark our words: it will happen!” Armstrong himself said something fairly similar. Of course his explanation also included the well-worn notion that “God has given us a little more time.”

So a time of reckoning is drawing near. It’s not going to happen tomorrow, not next year, but progressively it’s going to be coming about. Where are we now? Wouldn’t you like to know? How much time do we have left? When are these things going to come about? God doesn’t give us that knowledge. He says it’s going to happen.

How long are they going to be able to say, “It’s not going to happen tomorrow, not next year?” That’s the amazing thing about Armstrongism, for the answer is almost certainly, “Forever.” Armstrong did it — he created the perpetual motion machine. These people will pass the religion on down to their kids, who in turn will pass it to their kids — always saying, “A time a reckoning is drawing near!”

Concerning Biblical interpretation he says:

Are they really going to come back on white horses? I don’t know that Christ is necessarily obligated to have all the scores that are going to be coming with him strictly on white horses. It’s talking about, it’s symbolic, it’s talking about righteousness, it’s talking about them coming in righteousness. Maybe they’ll come on white horses. We will have to wait and see, but, basically the idea is it’s talking about the purity, it’s talking about the righteousness, it’s talking about the glory of God and coming back in that way. He’s going to come back and establish his rule upon this earth and become the King of all the earth, the King of all the kings of the earth.

Wait a minute! It says right there, in so many words, that there’ll be coming on white horses. Since when does a COG begin using the word “symbolic” regarding Biblical interpretation? That is almost startling. He probably doesn’t even get the implications of what he said.

Lastly, there’s this gem, with which he concludes the sermon:

It’s good to hear the warning. We haven’t done as much about talking about a warning as we did at one time, but the fact is that there is a time coming when this nation is going to be crushed. I don’t like to think about that. You sing “America the Beautiful,” and then you hear these other things, and you really don’t like to think of this great land of ours being destroyed, and crushed, and others coming in and taking over, and the other lands of the world as well. It’s going to happen, we need to be telling people. It’s our job as the people of God to be carrying something of a witness to the rest of the people of the earth, telling them there is a time coming, and you can escape it. You can repent, you can change, and you can be spared and have the opportunity to stand in the Kingdom of God as sons and priests, to teach the rest of the world the way of peace for the very first time.

There it is — all of Armstrongism in a single paragraph. HWA began preaching that nonsense back in the thirties, and now, almost seventy years later people are still believing it, still accepting that theory despite all the evidence against it. It’s just amazing.