The Girl has been the center of a small cluster of orbiting adults for her entire life. Mama, Tata, Nana, Papa, Babcia, Dziadek — all circle around her in their own cycles and epicycles, drifting into apogee, out of perigee, but always circling.
It’s been all about her dance rehearsal, her play dates, her mini photography sessions, her wants and needs.
As she has spun, so we have rotated around her.
But now there’s competition. “The boy” has become a newly frequent tag for posts here, and the Girl is likely beginning to wonder just how many pictures of a baby sleeping we can possibly take. And she’s beginning to wonder just how much one little caterpillar can cry.
It’s a learning experience in countless ways. The Girl is learning she’s no longer the center; we’re learning now to make her realize that it’s now simply an elliptical orbit, with two foci.
A wise web visitor — as well as others — once pointed out that we’ll need to work on the sibling relationship as well. It’s a little trickier, because making the Girl realize she’s not suddenly an outsider is something within my control: I can take positive steps to affect that, like spending the afternoon with her riding bikes as we did today. The sibling relationship seems at first blush more like a “lead a horse to water” situation
Yet there is an initiative from the Girl herself. Irritation about crying has been transformed into self-appointed pacifier duty: “When he spits it out, I’ll get it!” she proclaims.
And of course she’s just dying to hold him.
The funny thing is that in the end, when I look over the span of their childhood years, I think it is my little one who helped her big sister more…
Now, in adulthood, the challenge is there again: from moving to an intense sibling closeness, to something different — where they both have significant others. Not easy! But at least now I’m just an observer. My role is minimal.
In mixed gender sibling relations, I’ve always thought it’s far far easier (and therefore funner) to have an older girl and with a younger brother in the early years, even as it flips later. I hear that trying to keep things friendly in adolescent years is tough, unless, like in your case, the girl is a whole high school set of years older!
In any case, strong families make for wonderful childhood memories and yours sure looks like it’s on a path to some beautiful years ahead!
You ought to put “big sister” holding The Boy on facebook. She looks so pleased with him and her holding him.