Matching Tracksuits

The "plagues" seem so hokey: the seas turn to blood; people get boils all over their body; the sun scorches with intense heat; all light is extinguished for some period. These are most certainly bronze-age plagues that would feel terrifying and ineffably confusing at the time but just seem silly how. They feel rooted in the bronze age because that's when the authors were writing. The end of the world would surely be things like this: blood in water sources, complete darkness.

For the Bronze Age, these are plausible plagues as well. Rumor of a river turning to blood in a distant (or semi-distant) land is completely impossible to confirm or to refute.