Matching Tracksuits

I have a little jar of olive oil mixed with grapefruit seed extract that I keep in a plastic bag in the bottom of a desk draw at school. It was from a long time ago, for an irritating spot of skin on my hand that I didn’t want to go see a specialist about. The wise Internet suggested this as a homeopathic remedy.

Today, a young man caught a glimpse of that little bottle when I was pulling something from my desk draw. Or at least I guess he did — the alternative is that he was rummaging through the drawer when I wasn’t looking, something I don’t want to imagine he did. At any rate, he went to Ms. W, the eighth-grade administrator and my immediate supervisor, with a concern shortly after that.

“I think Mr. Scott has a little jar of urine in his desk drawer.”

Ms. W told me shortly afterwards that it was very hard to keep a straight face with that concerned young man. “I can assure you, Terrence, that that was not what it was, and that there is a logical explanation for what you think you saw.”

Oh, but the fun I could have with that misconception tomorrow in class…