Month: December 2014

Last Things

For weeks, he’d been saying it: “Mikołaj is going to bring me a police car!” And since Mikołaj knew of the Boy’s fondness for Cars, he brought not just any police car, but the sheriff from the film.

Then, the day after Christmas, he lost it. The Boy is not one to lose things: he has a fantastic memory of where he left this or that, so K and I figured the obvious: it fell out of his pocket at some point when he was in the backyard helping me with the leaves. So the search began. We looked through leaf piles, walked about in the backyard, checked in the house just in case — no luck.

1-VIV_1902

Today, while out, L and K looked again. And much to everyone’s delight, L found the sheriff, then reenacted the discovery for the camera.

2-VIV_1906

I’m not sure who was more excited: E, because his dear sheriff was back, or L, because she found it.

3-VIV_1916

Cleaning

It’s been entirely too long. Our kitchen floor is a complete mess, and I’m itching to rip it out and replace it with anything at all. But I’m also itching to rip out the cabinets and basically everything else in the whole room and redo it all, so for now, I wait.

And we scrub it in a serious way every now and then.

1-DSCF1505

Cuddle

1-DSCF1500

Sleep

1-DSCF1493

Long gone are the days when she was the first to wake up, probably because the days she was the first to go to bed are equally long gone. Nine, nine-thirty has been her wake-up time the last few days.

Christmas 2014

“We’ll take Easter,” K explained, “because we have the big yard for the Easter egg hunt. K and B will switch off with A and P for Christmas.” This year, it was K’s and B’s turn, and since A and P went back to Poland with their family for Christmas, it was a small affair.

DSCF1476

K and B have a new attraction, especially for the Boy: Little K has grown up a lot. She’s toddling around, making messes, taking things from others’ hands, being a young toddler.

E tries to talk to her, but to no avail. “She’s not talking,” he exclaims sadly. “She can’t talk. She’s too little.”

DSCF1483

For L, it’s a different story. A’s and P’s absence also means F and K are not there. Which means that L is the big fish. Which means she needs something to do.

DSCF1484

So she ends her day as she began it: playing with a new Christmas toy.

Dual-Play

DSCF1475

It’s fantastic when a single toy entertains both.

Wigilia 2014

Our last Christmas in Poland was ten years ago. I could probably dig through some pictures and find shots from that day. There would be a lot that’s the same. K of course would be there, as would the compote, fish dish and some sort of soup — likely the same soup we served this evening.

02-DSCF1411

There would have been similar pictures of preparation: of ironing, of setting the table, of getting kids ready.

01-DSCF1413

05-DSCF1433

There would possibly have been pictures of someone — K’s father? her mother? — reading the gospel passage about the nativity before dinner.

06-DSCF1435

There would have been pictures of a grandchild (K’s nephew W) cuddling with babcia.

04-DSCF1423

The changes, of course, would be in the people involved. Some present this evening would be absent from pictures of our last wigilia in Poland; some present then are absent from pictures of this evening. Some of the pictures could be recreated with older versions of the photo’s subjects while others can’t occur again in this world.

07-DSCF1442

Certainly that is the draw of traditions: while the world is changing around us, while we ourselves are changing, there are a few things that remain constant, a few things we can count on.

09-VIV_1744

There’s probably some psychological term for this need we have to organize our lives around traditions. Perhaps more than one because it seems that’s what obsessive-compulsive disorder is: taking “traditions” to the extreme. Maybe that’s what people mean when they say we’re all a little OCD in our own special ways.

12-VIV_1770

Wigilia could certainly provide plenty of material for someone excessively obsessed with order as he sees it to get bent out of shape about. K and I used to be a little like that. Perhaps K more, since she did almost all the work and always had this image in her head of what it was all supposed to be like, sort of a Platonic form of the perfect wigilia dinner.

13-VIV_1794

There was a time when, perhaps, our lack of authentic opłatki (how did that happen?!) might have been more emotionally problematic for one of us, or both. Perhaps, or maybe not. It’s hard to tell looking back. But yesterday, looking in the cookie and cracker section of the local grocery story, I found it amusing that I was looking for a substitute for something I could have easily found ten years ago at any number of stores.

14-VIV_1815

Tonight, though, it wasn’t about the food, or the opłatki, or the compote, or the perfectly ironed table cloth, or the piles of baked goods, or even the gifts.

11-VIV_1756

Tonight, it was about the little flashes of joy that the children experienced. L was thrilled, as always, with barszcz. (Not entirely — she prefers the Ukranian variety, made without the fermented beets that give wigilia barszcz its slight kick) The Boy was overjoyed that Santa had brought, as E had expressed countless times, a police car for him.

16-DSCF1448

18-DSCF1465

And everyone was happy about the deserts — that’s a tradition worth being OCD about.

Previous Years

Wigilia 2003

Wigilia 2004

Wigilia 2005

Wigilia 2006

Wigilia 2007

Wigilia 2008

Wigilia 2009

https://matchingtracksuits.com/2010/12/25/wigilia-2010/

Wigilia 2011

Wigilia 2012

Wigilia 2013

And Repeat

It’s the same every year. We’re Catholic — the sense of the importance of tradition is even present in our theology, so a Wigilia menu? Why, it’s really no trouble at all to repeat the same basic menu year after year. Sure, we change the deserts up every now and then, but even they are on a rotation, a three-year cycle like the daily Mass readings.

DSCF1318

DSCF1317

I end up with the same duty: mushroom and cabbage patrol. Occasionally, I get to cut up prunes for this or prepare the veggies for that, but by and large, my job doesn’t kick in until Wigilia itself, with the fish course.

But every now and then, I manage to change things up a bit.

DSCF1386

DSCF1383

DSCF1362

DSCF1357

The Actual Party

The Girl turned eight last week. Of course we had a party for her, but Nana and Papa, the Boy, Mama, and Tata — well, it’s an alright party, but most of the responsibility for screaming and hyperactivity falls on the head of the birthday girl herself. It’s a big responsibility, and L made a valiant effort, with some help from the Boy, to roust everyone out of their chairs, but mainly it was the Girl’s work.

The setting
The setting

What she needed was, say, three other girls, roughly her age, a load of sugar, some presents, and a sleepover party.

Lighting the candles shortly before
Lighting the candles shortly before
blowing them out.
blowing them out.

It is only then that the full silliness can blossom, for adults don’t really appreciate a little girl’s efforts to blow out her candles with a fully-open mouth like kids would.

Earring inspection
05-DSC_1638
Arranging the new earrings

Afterward, it was time to organize the gifts. Since the Girl got her ears pierced, all the presents had a common theme, and one cannot just toss dozens of earrings together into a chaotic pile.

Once the sun went down, though, we had only one option: the best lights in town, according to some. Over 350,000 lights, three months to set up, three more to take down — an impressive show.

The adults wandered about, wondering about the motive behind the lights, which surely cost thousands of dollars a year; the kids wandered about, wondering about the free hot chocolate.

Modeling

In education, it’s critical to model. Show, don’t tell.

I teach a creative writing course, which is really “Digital Storytelling,” but that’s not one of the district-provided options for course titles, so I call it “Creative Writing” and do a bit of everything. Right now, students are working on NPR-style audio stories about school events. I thought I’d model it for them. It was kind of fun — perhaps I have a future in radio…

8

It started with cupcakes at school.

02-DSCF1217

A quick Mama/L day followed, with some bouncing

04-DSCF1221

03-DSCF1231

and ear piercing.

05-DSCF1245

A chocolate ice cream birthday cake

07-DSC_1498

and a couple of long-sought gifts rounded out the Girl’s eighth birthday.

10-VIV_1514

13-VIV_1557

Well, almost.

01-DSCF1302

Out of the Silence

After more or less two years or so of daily-posting (nearly daily — fell off these last few months, but the 20+ before that make up for the slack), it was time for a beak. A week without is not the same as a week without writing: I’ve returned to my journal, finding the privacy freeing. I can harp about kids in my class by name; I can write put details about our home adventures that would never make it here. But of course that doesn’t mean that the pictures haven’t accumulated, that the list of things to include in our online scrapbook hasn’t been filling up mental list after mental list.

01-DSCF1064
Grading papers with the Girl: she works on multiple choice while I take the short-answer questions

Without the daily writing after examining the pictures snapped through the afternoon, though the evening, the lists add up to nothing: I can’t remember the thoughts this situation prompted, the connections with this or that.

02-DSCF1071
A proper Polish Sunday lunch

Writing daily for something available to more eyes than my own turns every instant into a potential paragraph, and I think I’d just had enough of that for a while.

03-DSCF1076
Riding near Nana’s and Papa’s house

And so last Sunday when we went to Nana’s and Papa’s to help decorate their tree, it was relaxing just to be, not to think about what I might write about this or that.

04-DSCF1085
Moving to the big bike

I was still a shutterfly, though. When I asked L if she’d like to have our older DSLR when she geets a little bigger, she replied tellingly: “No, Daddy, I’m not going to be a shutter bug like you.”

05-DSCF1099
Christmas trees and football — the American south at its best

On the one hand, I see that as highly likely. She’s too hyper, too busy, too up to take the time to take photo after photo.

06-DSCF1107
Independence

But on the other hand, she is terribly creative, always excited about what’s she’s doing in art class or looking to create something new at home. Perhaps the idea of making photo collages might — well, we’ll see.

07-DSCF1130
Paying attention to the details

The rest of the week went by in a fairly typical fashion: hectic mornings, long days at school that drag because we’re all – all — looking to the coming Christmas break with such longing that it’s difficult for anyone to focus, evenings that slip by before we know it.

08-DSCF1137
Afternoon in the park with Mama

But with K home now, the overall pace of life seems to have slowed just enough for everyone to catch their breaths before the chaos of the holiday season turns it all upside down again.

09-DSCF1164
Assembly line

December is just a rush, no matter who’s where. With a birthday, Christmas concerts, a major holiday, the near-end of a semester, parties, and surprise drop-ins from Santa, it’s just a never-ending sprint from the first to the twenty-fifth.

10-DSCF1179
Santa’s 2014 visit

But as in most families, it’s become something like a yardstick to measure the growth of the year. The Boy, for example, has begun looking beneath the surface of things, to question what he sees. When Mr. F and Mrs. P come over as they do every year dressed as the Clauses, there’s no fooling the Boy. He recognizes the voice, the face, and declares, “That’s Mr. F!”

11-DSCF1183
“That’s Mr. F!”

But it’s not all surprises and new adventures. Every weekday night still winds down similarly, with someone up in the Boy’s room as he plays with this or that, playing with him, doing one’s own thing, shifting between the two.

13-BW0_1223

One’s on thing: read, “Take pictures.”

14-BW0_1265
Station master

Soon the Boy will start complaining about the shutterflies in the house, but for now, he’s able mostly to ignore it if it has nothing to do with what he’s playing at the moment.

15-DSC_1441
“Daddy, can you make it Emil size?”

Yet with it Advent, there are a few differences during the week. Ladders come out, lights go up,

carols play on repeat.

17-DSC_1461
“My new car!”

Forwarding Address

We’re a 3/4 Polish family, and so we have to be a little difficult and do things differently. Like celebrate Saint Nicholas’s day, which is on the sixth of December. Which means our kids get two Christmases. Which means the Girl, with her mid-month birthday, get three gift days. Which makes the other kids at school jealous. Hence the difficulty.

2-DSCF1047

L has become more of a critical thinker regarding the whole process, though. She no longer blindly accepts the seeming omnipotence and omniscience of Santa. Clearly, there are things he might not know. Like the fact that she has changed rooms since last year. Or that her bed is different now, more narrow, with less room for presents. (Mikołaj doesn’t have a Christmas tree yet to put presents under, so I guess he improvises.)

1-DSCF1052

“I’m sure he can figure it out,” K explained last night, calming L’s worries. But later in the night, I suggested that we that perhaps we ought to put L’s gift in the Boy’s room, just to see if she figured out what happened. It was when K and I were downstairs, K wrapping newly-arrived presents and I cleaning up what will certainly be the only artifact of humanity a hundred thousand years from now — dried Play-doh. And doing something likely less useful. Like thinking of further Christmas jokes to play on our children.

3-DSCF1058

Build and Destroy

She built patiently, planning each move, checking, pulling apart, rebuilding. She had a vision — at least an evolving one — and she worked to fulfill it. In her typical fashion, she took a break from building to organize all available components, presumably because she was tired of the try-and-search method. She made the structure as symmetrical as the available components would allow.

And it was another example of what amazes me about our daughter: she can be so incredibly hyper that you’d think she couldn’t focus on anything for more than two seconds. Yet she brings home perfect grades from school, can sit and read for hours, loves to lose herself in painting, and has developed a recent fascination with building (more Legos are high on her Christmas wish list).

1-141202

The Boy, on the other hand, had only one thing in mind: knocking it all down. In fact, he joyfully did just that to the Girl’s first attempt, causing much consternation on her part (read: a minor breakdown) and much laughter on his part, until, the sensitive soul that he is, he realized that he’d hurt L.

Yet he did it again. It’s what being two is all about. But it cost him: his newest car went into time out, causing him much consternation (read: complete breakdown).

1-DSCF1029

Finally, he got the car back, L had the structure rebuilt, and after a quick photo session — that the Girl herself requested — it was time.

2-DSCF1030

Before E came alone, we warned L that, although she would certainly love him to death, there would be times that little brother would be positively infuriating. “You’ll make something,” we explained as an example, “and he’ll come along and destroy it.” Occasionally, though, it’s just what they both want.