“She’s so easy-going!” I’ve heard several people at L’s school mention this, and I’m certainly pleased about it. When I hear this, I’m also a little confounded about the Miss Hyde that appears on a daily basis at our house. “Easy-going” is not how I’d describe her distressingly often; “high-maintenance” and “tiring” are the words I’d choose.
Familiarity, in this case, truly leads to a sort of contempt (though that really is much too strong a word). She’s lately taken to behavior that, while I knew was possible irrespective of the quality of parenting, I never really believed would appear. Not being clairvoyants, we are unable to peer, or even peek, inside her head to find out what’s causing this. Exhaustion is certainly part of it, as she’s not getting enough sleep; stress is definitely a component, for she’s moved into a new group at her preschool and all that was known and comfortable has disappeared. But there must be more to it than that, and, as with the classroom, we’re left wondering whether we’re doing everything we can.
All you can do is be persistent and consistent. Always bearing in mind you’re trying to guide a beautiful mind – that will eventually make all the decisions about her life on her own. Now is the only time you can have an “input” to that end. I personally believe that you two are great parents doing a fantastic job – a job of which I am very proud.
The fact that you even notice and worry says mountains. It’s the parents who don’t notice or who shrug it off who worry me. L has the most caring, insightful mom and dad on the planet. Nothing else matters. She’ll be a sweet, caring, compassionate one for life.
(It’s not unusual to hear about kids who are completely the opposite at home of what they are in school or with friends. It’s as if trying all day long wears them out. By the time they come home, they let their guard down. All the way. I have to say that mine were a variation of this as well. One was ostensibly withdrawn, the other — very socially accommodating. At home, they were not at all like that. It wasn’t until they went away to camp, then college, that it all, more or less, came together for them.)