Burping L — a complicated process involving gymnastics, moan interpretation, patience, a sharp ear for slight gurgling, and a love of spit-up milk.

L has problems burping, which we’ve found we can solve by putting her horizontally for a few moments until all things gastrointestinal get good and worked up and enough pressure builds. By then, it’s no longer a bit of spit-up milk — it’s a fountain. Pick her up quickly, pat that back, and feel the warm ooze of undigested milk covering anything not covered with a burping cloth. (I think the milk gains sentience in the belly and then actively seeks any portion of the body not covered with the proper burping accessory.) Thump, thump, thump on the diaper (we’re using cloth diapers — they go halfway up her back at this point!) and then hold her still for a few minutes. Once she’s calm, repeat the process.

If we just hold her vertically and pat her belly, she’ll burp a time or two, fall asleep, and then squirm madly a few minutes later as the pressure builds up. Then L wakes with a start, crying, wiggling, and obviously in pain. And sometimes, to our terror, choking. So it’s best to do what works, even if the whole feeding process takes up to an hour and a half.

Yet these are the fun things about being a parent — finding out the little quirks of your child, the little combinations of this and that in order to calm, soothe, burp, bathe, etc. effectively and quickly. Such things also speak to the coming quirks and wonders we’ll be discovering about her as she begins to smile, to speak, to walk, to run.

She also has problems sending it out other end, but perhaps another time…