Matching Tracksuits

The funny thing about conspiracy theories is that their existence disproves them. World governments, fluoridated water, governmental control of drug trafficking, Illuminati plans for world domination — all are simply and easily disproved with one simple question: “How would I get this information?”

Take Alex Jones’ New World Order conspiracy: the global elite (which he calls the Illuminati, the Bilderberg group, the Bohemian Grove, and any number of other terms depending on who knows what) have been out since the turn of the century to take over the world. Highlights of the theory:

• Communism was a creation of international bankers at the turn of the 20th century to submit people to a police state.
• Hitler was simply playing his small role in the grand scheme of world domination.
• The Oklahoma City bombing and 9/11 were planned and executed by the U.S. government in order to justify a gradual implementation of a police state.
• The U.S. government has been systematically poisoning its citizens through chem trails, fluoridation of water, vaccinations, and other methods.
• Cartoons are systematically conditioning children to chip implementation and complete police-state control of citizens’ every move.

Look at that — everyone’s involved, even sworn enemies. Communists and Fascists are on the same team. Clinton and Bush are two sides of the same evil. Conspirators and secret police are everywhere, watching our every move and…

And clamping down on anyone who exposes them? Well, that would make sense. If someone has untangled the whole ugly scheme and presented it to the world, he should be shut up immediately, right? One word and it’s silence. After all, if the federal government can engineer 9/11 and coordinate it all in real time from World Trade Center 7 (as Jones asserts), then they can easily take out a radio host and make it look like a natural death.

And there’s the rub: the fact that people like Jones can carry on continually like he does shows the conspiracy doesn’t exist. Jones has made many “documentaries” and written books about the coming New World Order tyranny, detailing their plans and warning people about it, and yet this supposed world group, which has conspired to kill millions, hasn’t shut him up?

Notes from my journal after watching a little of TBN’s “Praise-A-Thon” (View online, if you dare.) before heading off to bed.

If you throw enough vagueness out, some of it is going to stick. Those who claim to speak with the dead rely on this. It’s called a cold reading. Most people are worried about love, health, and money. Stick to those topics and say that something — the ghost of a loved one, the Holy Ghost, or anything really — is providing you with insights about a given individual’s love life or heart condition, and there’ll surely be someone listening who’s now convinced you’re talking to him.

Cold reading involves asking questions then repeating back the answers in a way that makes a subject think the reader — a psychic or faith healer — got that information from some third party — God, Uncle Marvin, whomever.

James Randi provides the following example:

Reader: Did your husband linger on in the hospital, or did he pass quickly?

Subject: Oh, he died almost immediately!

Reader: Yes, because he’s saying to me, “I didn’t suffer. I was spared any pain.” (“Source)

Later, the subject will be convinced that the reader “knew” her husband passed quickly and without pain. Randi explains that readers’ success stems from their manipulation of your perception:

So, you see, it’s your perception of what’s actually being done, rather that the reality of the procedure, and your ignorance of other subtle clues and methods, that misleads you in your observations of these “psychics. (ibid)

Of course what on-air televangelists do is significantly different, because they’re just getting “the word” from “the Lord” as they’re preaching. They don’t get immediate feedback, so they stick to the ultra vague. “A heart condition has just been corrected,” a televangelist might say, and anyone with a diagnosed heart condition sitting at home will be convinced he’s talking about her. And all she has to do is show a little faith and that healing will come to fruition. And how is that faith shown?

Once the money is offered and the healing doesn’t come to pass, why not call back and ask for your money back? Simple — it’s your fault you weren’t healed because you really didn’t believe. Or your still living for the devil. Any number of clever explanations.