Matching Tracksuits

Two days in a row — something of a record for me, no doubt. I thought I’d write a little about what’s been going on at work, just for the hell of it. And because it ties in somewhat with all these thoughts of going back to Lipnica for a year.

First I think I’ll write about my bike ride yesterday. I was going to go on a very long ride and get very exhausted. Instead, I went on a very short ride and got very exhausted. I rode to the Common where, I discovered, they were having the Pride Day activities — for “Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders, and Allys.” I’ve no idea what an “Ally” is. For a moment, I thought (as I was typing that), “It must be ‘allies,’” but then I thought carefully about how to spell it and realized that either a) they must have misspelled it yesterday, or b) there’s something called an “Ally” of which I am completely unaware. At any rate, there was a concert (Joan Jett, I think — or someone playing several Joan Jett songs), some booths (including the “Long Dong” booth — I don’t know what it was, but there were lots of Chinese characters decorating the booth, so I’m assuming it might be an organization for gay Chinese Americans), and lots of same-sex couples being affectionate in public. It was a little strange to be walking through there. I kept thinking, “What if they’re looking at me saying, ‘What the hell is a straight guy doing in here?’” and of course it hit me — they’ve no idea.

Close to the visitors’ center there were three men with placards hanging around their necks saying, “[Rainbow triangle] = Hell!!!! Repent to Jesus.” Another read something like, “Sex out of marriage, homosexuality, masturbation, sex with condoms are condemned by God!!” Nice Catholic touch with the “sex with condoms” being made into a sexual sin. It was really sad to see them, though. Such intolerance. Such unhappiness. And how fulfilling can their life be if they think they worship a God how will condemn them to everlasting torment for touching themselves?

I was watching them — they were polite and quiet, and while their signs were offensive, they at least weren’t saying, “God hates fags.” I watched them, and I really saw them as fellow people — a nice change from thinking, “You backward asses!” They’re people — plain and simple. I completely disagree with everything they believe, but still I was able to separate that from their stupid, misguided intolerance and realizing that they’re doing this because they feel they must. It must pain them to think all these people walking by are going straight to hell when they die. It must make them feel guilty, in some way. “I’ve failed them! I didn’t lead them to repentance.” Of course God should be able to do that on his own, but that’s not their point of view on the matter. I wish I’d talked to them a little more than I did.

Now, on to DLG news: First, when I came in to work Tuesday 30 May, I rode up in the elevator with Armando. I noticed he was somewhat sullen — or maybe simply “quiet” is a better word choice — and as the elevator doors closed, he asked me if I’d heard about Rob. “I’m not sure, but I think he was fired Friday.” And that’s how my return to DLG began. I went to my cube, sat down, and wondered whether it was true. I knew that it was — I don’t know how I knew, but somehow it just made sense. Still, I didn’t know what to do, so after I checked my mail and did some other stuff, I went to Katherine in Western Civ 1 and asked her if there was anything I could do.

I don’t really feel like going into detail, actually. Suffice it to say, Rob, Dale, Matt (Searles, not Maslin), Nancy (the strange, middle-aged graphics woman), and Chris Conty got fired. The last one was a real shock — I didn’t have any idea how things were going on the other side, I guess, and I assumed that the “Director of Marketing” would get the axe.

Rob called me and we talked a bit — he said he was going to quit that week anyway. I think I know why: not only was he not happy with Val and others telling him what to do, but I think things were spiraling out of control. He had no management experience and I don’t think he’s really cut out for it, either. Anyway, one of my jobs was to go through his stuff and dig out any email addresses of people we might need to contact, figure out the status of various people’s contracts, &c. I found a series of emails between Rob and Kathleen (from somewhere in Canada) that were, in a word, disturbing. There were several misunderstandings about the contract: Rob screwed up and left in part of an old contract with Neusner and so it had something about writing Judaism terms and so on — something Kathleen had not agreed to do. At any rate, they worked that out, and then upper management pulled the plug on the religion textbook in general. Rob sent Kathleen another email, this time saying that he wasn’t going to be able to hire her now because of all this and so on. She sent back an email saying she was going to report DLG’s highly unethical hiring practices to the journal where she found the ad (I can’t remember which one it was) and this and that — basically a nasty email that I wouldn’t want to have received. At any rate, I don’t think Rob told anyone about it — it seemed to me that Celina and Val weren’t taking a “Oh, don’t worry about this — we’ve seen it and we’re taking care of it” type of attitude.

Of course I about screwed up in sending that stupid email to Neusner. I think, though, it was for the best. It showed Celina, Kate, and others first of all that I’m honest — I didn’t try to hide it, even though it crossed my mind. And second, it showed that I’m fairly responsible — even when I fuck up — and I want to clean up my own messes, so to speak.

I have to admit, though, that life at DLG without Rob is somehow more enjoyable. Less stressful for me, at any rate. And I don’t even think I realized it until he was gone. I felt he really had no idea how the textbook should be heading, yet he was very stubborn in that everything had to be his way. It’s a terrible thing to say, but I’m happier working with Katherine than I was working with Rob.

And of course now I know exactly how I report to, so to speak. Kali can herself be a pain in the ass to work with because she too is stubborn. But she seems to be more in control of what’s going on than Rob ever was. More responsible. More — in some ways — mature. I really got fucking tired of Rob bad-mouthing everyone: Kali, Val, Celina, Dale. (It’s funny that he and the one person he said he hated got fired at the same time.) Anyway, there seems to be a much clearer chain of responsibility now and that now-formalized structure gives me a sense of security, I guess. I know where I belong; I know to whom I answer — it’s better.

And of course that sucks. Part of me would rather hate working at DLG so that I would have more of an excuse to go back to Lipnica. But the truth of the matter is that I actually like it — at least this past week I’ve enjoyed it.