Another new month in Poland. Five months ago I was getting up, the beginning of the first day of this whole adventure. As I lay in bed this morning, far from that bed back home, I realized the first sensation I felt that morning was the usual frustration of having to get out of bed still tired: “Why can’t I just go back to sleep?” Yet that morning it was so different because by going back to sleep I could have escaped (or at least forgotten about) the anxiety that gripped me like a vice as I realized, “The day has finally arrived . . .”

Of course then there was the hellish ride to the airport. I remember two things about that trip: First, I ate sausage biscuits and had a huge glass of milk, realizing it was probably the last time I’d have such a combination. Second, I remember that we took the van, and as might be expected, it started “acting up.” I honestly didn’t care whether it broke down. Perhaps I even secretly wished it would. Other than that, I really don’t remember anything about that trip.

I was in a daze at the airport. Standing in line to check my bags, I just stood there in a numb haze. I didn’t know what to say. What does one say to the three most important people in his life in the waning moments before such a drastic and complete separation? So I just stood there, inching my bags forward.

It’s such a strange thing to be thinking of those painful, wretched moments now, when they are so far away. I am for the most part content now. It was a storm to be weathered, that’s all.

One thing I’ve been thinking of lately is how difficult it will be to leave this place. I am already so attached to many of my students; after teaching them for two years, it will be a hellish time when I say goodbye. I can understand why leaving PC is more difficult than leaving home. When you leave home for the PC, there is a virtual certainty of eventual return; when I leave LW there will be no guarantee that I’ll ever come back. I knew I’d see my parents and Chhavi again at some point; when I leave here I might never again see these people whom I now see on a daily basis.