matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

the girl

Backyard Setup

We're going on our first family camping trip over the Labor Day weekend. First, we have to check out the tent.

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Of course, the Girl has to help. She loves helping, though until the last few months, her help has not been terribly helpful.

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But she's getting good at holding things for us.

"I can hold it?" she asks. She keeps a tight grip for a few moments, then asks, "You need this, Mama?" If Mama doesn't need it, L quickly loses interest.

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Once set up, the tent is a hit. It's a palatial space for the Girl, and she makes good use of it, running about, jumping, being generally toddler-ish.

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Blue Eyes, Runny Nose

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Swimming Alone

The Girl has begun padding about on her own…

Edisto Beach in Motion

Books in the Basement

petuniaIn the process of reorganizing the basement storage/work room, K and I have been tearing open boxes that have sat virtually untouched for years. Most of it consists of my own belongings, packed up while I lived in Poland in the late 1990s (eventually repacked into sturdy Rubber Maid storage bins). My parents moved, and instead of making the decisions for me, they left it to me, ten years later, to go through the stuff and toss out that which was once treasure but now trash. Granted, I could have done it earlier, but I lacked the serious motivation. Who wants to root around through old boxes of memories?

I had cracked the box that I knew contained my photographs. Eventually, when I moved back to Poland in the early 2000s and dumped on them all my earthly possessions collected in Boston and Polska, the box grew to contain pictures from close to thirty years of my life. It was a strong incentive, and I’d gone through that box several times.

The rest of the boxes remained packed, essentially for close to fifteen years. This was the week that I opened them.

The vast majority were books and toys from my own childhood that my mother had saved. Most of them were in remarkably good shape, especially the books. Not a spot of mold; not a hint of mildewy age.most-bradfield-lion

I found a Harriet the Spy tour location tour on Flickr while writing this — well worth the time of any fans.

And so I took some time to go through books from my childhood, most of which I hadn’t held in my hands for at least twenty-five years. A look at the title and I remember almost everything: plot, illustration style with specific illustrations, and even my favorite parts. Petunia, the Sweet Pickles series, Benjamin Dilley’s Lavender Lion, stacks of Tell-A-Tale books–and so many other books I didn’t even remember having until I pulled them from the box. Near the bottom, late-childhood favorites hid: Harriet the Spy, a book on real, scary sea monsters, a book on tornadoes.

There were few specific memories about the books. Instead, it was general feelings, peaceful feelings. Calm.

I pulled several out to give to L.

harrietHer collection grows, and her eyes always light up when she gets a new book.

She takes books everywhere: she wants them by her as she plays; she wants them in the car with her; she wants one when on the potty. All of these are negotiable. The non-negotiable is the bedtime book. Usually her pick. That night, though, I chose: Petunia.

“Poor Petunia. Poor animals.” L mutters sympathetically when the firecrackers go off, scattering and injuring the animals.

I’m doing more than passing down books; I’m sharing memories in the most direct way, by recreating them.

Lie

faceThe evidence was everywhere: an empty wrapper; brown stains around the mouth; dark smears down the front of the dress; cocoa breath; the knick-knack box that stored chocolates sent from Babcia in Poland on the floor open.

“L, did you eat chocolate?” I ask.

She put her head down in shame — a new trick — and the looked up and said calmly, “No.”

I look at her quizzically and ask again. I get the same answers.

And suddenly, everything I’d learned about parenting during the last thirty-one months goes out the window. “How do you deal with someone lying who isn’t old enough to know what truth is?”

Some quick research shows that my assumption was right:

Your toddler lies because at this age he’s not yet able to differentiate between reality and fantasy. Until he’s 3 or 4, your toddler won’t fully grasp the concept of lying, because he doesn’t yet understand the idea of an objective truth based in fact. (S.Denham)

And yet, it didn’t seem like the the best idea simply to ignore it. Denham goes on to provide suggestions in her article, but standing there, looking at a chocolate smeared little girl who’d just told me ever so sweetly, “No, I didn’t eat chocolate,” I experienced something I hadn’t experienced at home for quite some time. At school, this happens quite frequently, but at home — not so much. In short, I stood there dumbfounded, wondering what in the world is the “right” way to handle the situation.

I told her that she’d lied, and I explained what that mean in concrete terms: “You told me you didn’t eat the chocolate, but you did eat it.”

And from there? Everything that came to mind just seemed so pedantic and ineffectual.

“Teach about the truth” is now on the parenting to-do-when-she’s-old-enough list.

Image: morguefile.com

Returning

The Girl entertained herself with a box of bandages…

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Morning on the Beach

"They're a bit rustic," K's colleague said about the cabins at Edisto Beach State Park. "They're okay if you like 'roughing it,'" he concluded.

"If this is 'roughing it'," K said as we walked in, "then I'd hate to see what his idea of luxury is." We quickly determined that in between the two visits there must have been some extensive renovations.

Surely no one could call this "roughing it."

Hardwood floors and an interior done completely in unfinished pine -- it is a welcoming space from the beginning. The living room has a Murphy Bed and an ample sitting area.

At the other end, a small television (hidden in the cabinet on the wall) and a leather couch.

There's a small bedroom in one corner of the cabin -- it's L's bedroom.

The kitchen is well light (in the day, anyway) and perfectly adequate for vacation.

The real treasure, though, is in the back.

A restful night is a simple matter there, with the wind blowing through the palms and the crickets all around.

We wake the next morning to visitors: a family of four deer that almost managed to scamper away completely before I stumble back into the cabin for the camera.

Still, we didn't come to Edisto for the wildlife. We came for the beaches, eager to give L her first beach experience.

With the initial fear from the previous afternoon a distant memory, L is able to get down to some serious sand castle building. She carefully makes a ring of towers with an eventual moat. K, of course, only watches. Having grown up in southern Poland, she's had enough beach time in her life!

The pelicans off the coast have breakfast while the architectural wonders rise from the sand. They hit the water with shocking impact. We later find out that the repeated impact can so damage their eyes that they can eventually go blind.

The Girls, somewhat oblivious to the masochistic fishing exercise going on just behind them, continue to build.

Eventually, I try to convince L to approach the water and let the waves lightly wash over her toes. She's not receptive, and when I press the issue, assuring her that I'll hold her the entire time, that she has nothing to fear, that I'll never let anything hurt her (A lie? No: some things are out of my control, but those things that I can control I will control. Or will I? There is learning in pain...), that it will be great fun -- all for naught.

The more I reassure her, the more she panics. At last, I calm her down and assure her that I won't make her go to the water.

It's like with many foods: I know she'll love it as soon as she overcomes her distrust.

She should be glad that she's not a pelican, I decide. Then again, instinct is frightfully powerful, as is conditioning.

Columbia Zoo

Being at a zoo can teach one many things.

It can show you how close we are to the great apes. This great gorilla sat watching us as much as we watched him. His eyes darted from face to face, and occasionally he would furrow his brow. Proof of thought? Certainly not. It was humbling to look at him, though, thinking how closely related we are. Granted, we’re more closely related to chimps, genetically speaking, but I looked at the gorilla and saw shadows of us.

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It was not so clear who was watching whom.

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The elephants have better things to do. They’re more concerned with covering themselves with dust and looking old and wise.

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The alligators were looking sly, as if they knew how long they’d survived. “We walked with the dinosaurs,” they seem to say. “We’ll wait you out.”

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The goats, of course, were hungry. There’s not much to learn from goats, except how to deal with trolls under bridges.

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Trains come without tracks — the definition of “train” has become very flexible in the twenty-first century, but a ride on one is just as fun.

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“Helmets are for bicycles,” declares the Girl.

“And for pony rides,” K explains patiently.

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And pony rides are for those who are big enough to venture out on their own, sort of.

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In many ways, giraffe rides are more fun: they last longer, anyway. And they do a more thorough job of getting one dizzy.

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Some birds, growing so accustomed to regular feeding from visitors, take matters into their own claws.

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And it’s only with deliberate effort that visitors keep the greedy beasts from ripping the feeding cup out of one’s hand.

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Feeding birds is a great way to make friends and giggle constantly.

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Birds will hang upside down to get food.

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Zookeepers can take the grizzly out of the wild but, well, you know the rest of the cliche.

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A quick swim when we got back to the hotel and everyone was ready for bed.

Tomorrow: a trip to Angel Oak, the oldest living thing this side of the Rockies (reportedly a 1,600 year old tree), then the final destination: Edisto Island.

From here on out, internet access is a big question mark. And that’s a good thing — we’re on vacation!

Love Hate

L and Bida, our cat, have an uneasy relationship. Or maybe it's a love-hate relationship: L loves, Bida hates.

That might be taking it a bit too far. When Bida is in the mood, a scratch under the neck will bring a quiet purr no matter who's doing the scratching. Yet sensing that mood is difficult for adults; it's all but impossible for L. And so, in the name of love, L simply tortures the cat most of the time.

"I'm helping Bida. She's sick."

The trouble is, her "love" often is not affectionate; her "help" doesn't assist in any way whatsoever. L's simply trying out language and ideas she hears and sees all around her without fully understanding what it means (in the case of "help") or how to show it (in the case of "love"). The result: a frustrated cat and a scratched little Girl.

At the same time, it's incredible the patience Bida can sometimes show our budding veterinarian. She has figured out, I think, that if she waits just a moment, K or I will come and rescue her. And if push comes to shove (and L, in her rambunctiousness, can push and shove sometimes), Bida knows how to use her claws. And one would think that two or three painful, deep scratches would teach L to keep her distance, but to date, it hasn't.

So K and I try to save the two smallest members of our household from each other on a regular basis.