matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

the boy

Wondering

I'm out mowing, mid-morning. The Girl, who is taking care of E, sticks her head out the door and says, "E was wondering if we could have some of those peanut butter-filled pretzels."

Sure.

I can just see our two-year-old son sitting on the couch, watching his favorite cartoon, The Littlest Pet Shop (no coercion there), and turning to L to say, "You know, I'm just a little hungry. Know what I'd like? Some of those peanut-butter-filled pretzel thingies. And you know, Daddy's just right outside there, mowing the front yard. Maybe you could just, I don't know, stick your head out the door and ask him. I mean, we could try to get it ourselves, but I think we'd probably be better off if we ask permission."

Yes, that's probably how it happened.

Helping

Some of my earliest memories, when I was just a toddler, involve helping my father. The first house I lived in with my family was a brick ranch with a sizable lot behind it that was mostly overgrown and wild. At some point my father decided that leaving it fallow was a waste and that he must put the land to work. If I recall, the plan was to plant peanuts. But that involved clearing the land, and lacking any heavy machinery for the job, he did it by hand, with me "helping." My helping is not such a clear memory, but I'd bet it was mostly getting in the way. I know I was most effective as a messenger, asking my mother to prepare a cup of coffee for Dad as well as a cup of "coffee milk" for me. Or maybe I just remember that because I heard my parents tell the story so many times. Such are first memories.

A few weeks ago, it was the Girl's turn to help. She was actually quite helpful. Sure, I had to go back and correct some places where she'd put too much stain on and created runs, but that was easier than doing all the work myself, and the joy she got from helping was all the more priceless.

Today, as I got material ready for L's big room change, the Boy comes down the stairs with his careful step, sitting on the bottom and watching me for a moment before rising and asking the question of the day.

"Help you, Daddy?"

What can a two-year-old do that's truly helpful? Nothing. What can I do to help him feel helpful? Everything.

I give him a sealed bag and ask him to open it. He struggles for a while before asking, "Help me Daddy?"

In the end, I find some extra parts and a pair of needle nose pliers and ask him if he can pick up the spare parts with the pliers.

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It keeps him occupied and filled with joy for at least twenty minutes.

The Games We Play

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The Swing

"My turn! My turn!"

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Or perhaps the solution is to double up?

Bookends

My mother sometimes would be telling someone stories of her youth and mention her best friend, S, and how they could get together after not having seen each other in years and it would suddenly be as if they were back in school together.

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"Years melt away" is the cliche, I suppose.

Old friends,
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown through the grass
Falls on the 'round toes
On the high shoes
Of the old friends.

Or old friends hang out in the driveway, taking turns playing badminton with the Girl.

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While the Boy watches intently

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Occasionally Mama gets into the game, and then we're all in trouble.

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Meanwhile, the Old Friend calmly entertains everyone.

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Especially the Boy.

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Last Day Portraits

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Sunday in the Park

L has had the same best friend, E (for the sake of simplicity, Big-E), for five years now. They met at preschool, thus bringing our families into a closer orbit than would have otherwise naturally occurred: play-dates became dinner with both families, or even a short vacation together.

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Five years, for seven-year-olds, is virtually eternity. It stretches even longer than the endless nights of childhood when we simply can't wait until morning.

"How long until morning?" we as mom, and the resulting answer might as well be expressed in scientific notation.

So every now and then, the two families get together for an afternoon at the pool, dinner, or perhaps an afternoon at the park. The five kids have great fun together, the parents chat and take turns tag-teaming with each others' kids ("E, slow down!" "Big-E, you interrupted her!"), and in the end, we all return home satisfied. What's not to love about an outing that gives the kids great joy while simultaneously exhausting them?

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Over the past year, though, a second connection has developed. E has been in the same preschool class as E (gosh -- this is getting confusing: three kids with the initial initial "E." Let's just call her "Lady-E"), and when we asked E if he was excited about seeing Lady-E today, he smiled hugely and said, "Taaaaak!" (The question was posed in Polish: he's much better about answer in the same language than L is at this point.)

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So L and Big-E zoomed ahead on a scooter and bike respectively while E and Lady-E tended to hang back on their less speedy models. And I (initial for the middle child, not me) sort of hung in the middle, like a middle child would.

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We saw some lovely views, including a beaver dam,

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had fun pulling our vehicle when we got too tired to ride it,

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and had a nice picnic to fill the bellies and stop the complaining.

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E and Lady-E are now the same ages (roughly: Lady-E is about a year older) as L and Big-E were when they met. And while five years have passed in the interim, none of us could have possibly believed how quickly it would have gone. Five years for a seven-year-old -- forget about it. You might as well be talking the age of the universe.

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Five years for any of us? It's a flash, a blink, a second degree, a mere half-a-decade.

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It's absolutely nothing. Indeed, for us, the passage of twenty years has become nothing. I see on social media that a twenty-year-old beauty contestant boldly wore an insulin pump with her bikini (never mind the ethics of judging someone's worth or beauty -- oh, never mind), and I think, "Twenty years. That makes it 1994. I was starting my senior year of college."

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These kids are still learning how to control their arms and legs: college seems like an impossibly distant reality for them, but for us, it will just be a blip. A few birthdays, a Christmas or two, and suddenly this child or that is packing up to head to this or that college.

I keep writing about this because it keeps becoming more and more obvious. "Hold on to these moments as they pass," sings Adam Duritz in "Long December," and the older I get, the more that rings true.

Great Smoky Mountain Railroad

Day two, we messed up. We turned a vacation into a trip, complete with deadlines and alarm clocks.

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Not that these are bad things, or that the outing itself — a trip on the Great Smoky Mountain Railroad — was a waste.

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There was lots to see, including a quarry that absolutely fascinated the Boy.

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Not to mention the simple fact that we were on a train: it’s hard to over-estimate the excitement of a little boy who loves Thomas and Friends almost as much as he loves Bob the Builder, and to combine the two was a moment of sheer perfection.

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The views weren’t bad either.

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But we decided, in the end, that perhaps it would have been better just to hang around the camp site — to keep it a vacation.

Garbage Truck

The Boy loves cars. I mean loves cars. He has a sizable collection of matchbox cars (yes, that is a brand name but like Kleenex, it’s come to represent the object in general), mostly thanks to Nana and Papa, and among these cars is a garbage truck. A favorite. And that explains his interest in the following exchange.

The Boy
Garbage truck coming today?
The Tata
No, not today. Tomorrow.
The Boy
Tomorrow? Tursday?
The Tata, in mild shock
What did you say?
The Boy
Garbage truck not coming today?
The Tata
No, no, what day did you say tomorrow is?
The Boy
Tursday
The Tata
And today?
The Boy
Wesday

In the car, I tell K about this conversation.

“Really? Where did he learn that?” she wonders aloud in Polish, turning to E in the back seat and asking, “E, who taught you this?”

“E!” he squeals.

Sunday at the Beach

A simple idea when you live only three hours from the beach: a call to Ciocia M and a Sunday at the beach is set. And so M arrives Saturday and early Sunday morning, we pack everyone into the car and head for the Isle of Palms just outside of Charleston. And soon almost half the passengers were asleep.

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When we arrived, it seemed as if we’d foolishly rushed off without checking the weather. After all, a storm just passed through the region. But we did — really we checked. There was a ten percent chance of rain. But we should have played the lottery today, because we were good with slim odds: we weren’t on the beach more than half an hour before it began raining. We took shelter, dried off, changed clothes, and had our picnic in the back of our van.

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The rain passed, the puddles called, and with everything put away, we decided to take a walk on the beach. The rain had mainly stopped, and it seemed foolish not to take the chance.

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But the Girl could only go so long before beginning to beg to be able to change back into her swimming suit. She headed off with K to the car,

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and E, initially terrified of the ocean and only slightly less so by this time, trudged off after them, not looking back to see if anyone was following along with him.

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The Girl headed back to the water,

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and the Boy sat with the ladies to watch.

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None of us really worried about it: after all, L followed through a similarly trajectory through fear to obsession with the ocean. And while we couldn’t convince her even to approach the water the first time we were at the beach, it wasn’t long before she loved it. Loved it.

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And so we tried with the Boy, taking him out in our arms, then convincing him to stand with us.

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He took less time than the Girl, though, to become acclimated then filled with joy.

“This is fun!” he squealed.

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At this point, there was only one thing left to do: I headed back for my suit and the Boy’s and we got in the water together. While it was fun for a while, though, I am not Mama — nothing can compare to Mama, and so he tended to linger with her.

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