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Closure

Wednesday 25 August 2021

When we put Nana's ashes in the memorial bench, I had one thought lingering in the back of my mind the entire time: soon enough, we'll be doing this for Papa as well.

So today brought a certain closure to it all. My parents are in their final resting place. Their urns are touching, together again.

During the short service, led by Nana's and Papa's pastor, there was talk of the hope we have in Jesus, the hope of eternal life together with God. I sat staring at Papa's urn, hoping the topic wouldn't come up in the after-service chat. I always feel awkward in those moments because I play along, agree with whoever is talking, and even say things that I don't even mean or believe. Our neighbor, for example, was talking to me the other day about Papa's passing.

"Well, he's with Omi now, and they're probably still hugging," she said.

"No," I laughed, "she probably isn't done fussing at him yet."

I don't believe that, but I felt it was something that would give our neighbor a smile, and having lost her husband only this spring, I thought laughs are probably all too uncommon in her life these days.

In the evening, some family Uno, three-hand cribbage, and of course, our family favorite, badminton.

Family Badminton

Tuesday 20 July 2021

Consolation

Thursday 15 July 2021

When Papa was in his late thirties or early forties (I can’t really remember), we had a family membership at the local YMCA, and he liked to play basketball. He didn’t like playing with men his age — too slow. He played with the twenty- and twenty-one-year-olds. It was hard and aggressive, and while I can’t really remember how good Papa was at basketball, I do remember how tenacious he was, how he never gave up.

One time he was breaking for the basket, forcing his way through a couple of defenders, when he leaped, shot, landed on his ankle at an angle, and fell in agony with a snap that everyone heard.

As Papa lay there on the floor, rolling about in agony, one of the other players leaned into the group huddled about him and said, “If it’s any consolation to you, sir, you made the basket.”

Tonight, L made a block that won the point but resulted in an ankle injury. A young lady on her team told her, “But L, you won the point.”

The Other Sister

Tuesday 13 July 2021

Papa grew up with six siblings: four sisters and two brothers. The first sibling to go was his youngest brother, who was killed in Vietnam in 1972. I'm named after him but never met him. It was about thirteen years before the next sibling passed, Papa's older brother, who had cancer and died in the mid-eighties. And then there three and a half decades before another sibling passed, followed by another sibling just a year or two later.

And so now there are three of them: a younger sister, Aunt D, who visited Sunday, and the first-born of the entire group of seven, who visited today. Aunt Y doesn't get out much, and the last time she was at our house was for Papa's birthday, probably close to a decade ago. We all used to meet at Aunt D's house for Thanksgiving, but the last time we did that must have been five or more years ago. The last time all three of them were together was at Nana's funeral. What a sad thought that that might indeed be the last time the three surviving siblings are together. But I guess that's the nature of reunions as we all get older.

Cards

Saturday 10 July 2021

Afternoon Game

Tuesday 06 July 2021

Cards

Monday 05 July 2021

In the morning,

and in the afternoon.

In the Backyard

Tuesday 20 April 2021

I sometimes feel guilty when E asks to spend some time with me, and all I end up doing is sitting and directing him. Today, for example, he wanted to work on a little project he devised some time ago. He’s got it in his head that he can dig a pool in our backyard like he has seen done on YouTube by those Filipinos who carve magnificent structures in the hard clay of their country. He settled on merely making it deep enough to soak one’s feet, and he decided that he wanted to line the sides and bottom with bamboo.

Yesterday in the time I had between coming home from school and heading back to school to photograph the girls’ soccer game, the boys’ soccer game, and the boys’ baseball game, almost all simultaneously, we went out to the woods behind our house cut down one cane of bamboo and brought it back.

Today, he wanted to split it down the middle. His first idea was to partially bury it in order to stabilize it and then use the saws-all to cut it in half. Knowing that wouldn’t work, I suggested that we use clamps to clamp it to something to stabilize it, and he readily agreed to that. Yet everything we tried initially failed. I say everything “we tried,” but the truth of the matter is he did all the work and I simply sat and directed him.

And this is where my dilemma comes in. I was giving him suggestions, photographing him occasionally as he worked. I could’ve just as easily worked with him. Apparently, I saw more value in him having a little practice following instructions and working things out for himself. Or was this just me making excuses for my laziness?