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Saturdayโ€™s Adventures

On the way to the basketball game, the Boy makes a comment about how many churches are around, and then turns the discussion to religion, remarking that Jesus has been dead 2000 years and has still not returned.

"Two thousand years is a long time," he suggests.

I simply agree.

He continues: "How do we even know that all that stuff happened?"

"What do you think?" again trying to remain non-committal.

"Well, they say they were there," he suggests.

"How do we know that?"

โ€œBecause thatโ€™s what they wrote." He stops to think about it for a moment and then asks, "But how do we know those documents are authentic?โ€

The short answer is, we donโ€™t. The Gospels, despite the purported authorship the Bible affixes to them, are anonymous. Those names โ€” Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John โ€” appear only in documents from the third or fourth century if memory serves. But I say none of this. Instead, I simply respond, โ€œThatโ€™s a very good question. What do you think?โ€

โ€œWell, all the Christian scientists trying to prove that are biased. They want to prove it.โ€

For a moment, I think, โ€œWait, how did we get onto the topic of Christian Science, but I realize quickly what he means: heโ€™s referring to apologists and Christian New Testament scholars who consistently make the arguments that support Christianity, explaining away the problems like the one of the gospelsโ€™ anonymous authorship. But his point is very salient: apologists are indeed biased. They are not seeking truth as much as seeking ways to buttress Christian belief, and many skeptics suggest that apologists are almost exclusively preaching to the choir, so to speak, giving believers answers to questions they might have rather than providing skeptics with evidence to overcome their skepticism.

These are all very good questions that will lead to some answers that might lead the Boy away from church teaching, but I am trying my best not to provide any answers.

We get to the game and immediately see what weโ€™re up against: a bunch of guys eighth graders who are enormous and merciless. They tower over most of our boys.

Their brutality comes from the coach down: They begin applying full-court pressure in the second half when they already have a significant, and they would only begin doing that (I think) because their coach has instructed them to do so. Every time the opposition scores, the coach whoops and hollers like it's the greatest comeback in history. The final score is 13-22, and I hear the say to his team, "That was okay, but you missed a lot of easy baskets." Translation: "You beat them badly, but you should have beaten the ---- out of them." At least that's how I interpreted it as an objective observer...

No Parties in Hell

Another one of these memes I ran into on Twitter: "There are no parties in hell. There's no cool rock music, no hanging out with friends. You will be burning. Forever. Repent and give your life to Jesus Christ!"

This is clearly aimed at Christians who more fundamentalist Christians see as living a life of sin. It's certainly not going to convince any unbelievers. In fact, most of us will just read this, shake our heads, and say, "Yes, but Jesus, as God, is the one sending us to this place. What kind of an abusive relationship is this?!"

Villain

Who is the villain in the story of Adam and Eve? Christianity and Judaism will have you believe it's the serpent, but I think a close reading without the blinders of preconception proves God is the villain.

To begin with, notice when in the narrative God forbids the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil:

The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, โ€œYou are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.โ€

The Lord God said, โ€œIt is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.โ€

Genesis 2.15-18

That second paragraph is crucial because it shows that God gave the command to Adam before Eve even existed. He told Adam, "Don't eat of the tree." He said nothing to Eve. In fact, if you read the text closely, he never talks to Eve at all.

The temptation occurs in the next chapter:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, โ€œDid God really say, โ€˜You must not eat from any tree in the gardenโ€™?โ€

The woman said to the serpent, โ€œWe may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, โ€˜You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.โ€™โ€

โ€œYou will not certainly die,โ€ the serpent said to the woman. โ€œFor God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.โ€

Genesis 3.1-5

A few questions arise here:

  1. Where was Adam? Since God communicated with him about the cursed tree, he should have been careful to prevent an unknowing Eve from approaching the tree.
  2. Where is God? Since God never communicated with Eve, I'm assuming he assumed Adam would take this role. Now that it's obvious that Adam is doing nothing, why wouldn't a loving God step in.
  3. Why the hell is the tree there in the first place? This is the fundamental question. It's like putting a knife in a baby's crib. What do you expect is going to happen?
  4. Why did God allow the serpent to enter the garden to being with? Again, it's like putting a circular saw in the nursery.
  5. Why didn't God do something to prevent this? He is all-knowing: he knew this is going to happen. He didn't take a single step other than warning Adam. And of course this gets us back to the question of why the hell God made this tree to begin with.
  6. Why is the tree of knowledge that's forbidden? What's so dangerous about knowledge. Oh, never mind...
  7. How could God expect them to obey him (i.e., to realize it was a sin, i.e., to understand it was evil to disobey him) when they clearly didn't know the difference between good and evil? Now we've got a knife and a circular saw in the crib of a blind toddler.

The narrative continues:

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Genesis 3.6, 7

First of all, we see that Adam was right there with her. What the hell was he doing? Why didn't he stop her?

More significantly, we see that the serpent was telling the truth: "the eyes of both of them were opened." But the didn't die, despite God's telling Adam that "in that day you shall surely die." They didn't die: God lied.

So let's build the case for the serpent being the villain:

  1. He encouraged the couple to disobey God. However, God only bothered to tell Adam, and Adam did nothing to stop Eve. More troubling, they didn't even know what good and evil as concepts were, so there's no way we can hold them accountable for that.

That's it. One point, a point that's really not significant at all. What's the case for the serpent being the hero?

  1. He was encouraging them to increase their knowledge.
  2. He told the truth: they did not die when they ate the fruit.
  3. He told the truth: they did receive knowledge when they ate the fruit.

There's not much, but at least he has the truth on his side.

How about the case for God being the villain:

  1. He put a tree in the garden that he decided was forbidden and chose to punish Adam and Eve for eating of it.
  2. He only told Adam not to eat of it; he didn't even bother to communicate with Eve.
  3. He lies to Adam about the consequence of eating of the tree.
  4. He expected obedience from
    • newly-formed creatures who
    • didn't know what good and evil were.
  5. Once Eve and Adam eat of the tree, he punishes all future generations for the crime (which they couldn't know was a crime because they didn't know good and evil). And according to Christianity, the punishment is eternal torment. Eternal torment for a finite crime committed by other people!
  6. He turned Adam and Eve's daily life to a relative hell of struggling for mere subsistence.
  7. After having told Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply," he makes the act of childbirth painful and potentially lethal.
  8. He creates Adam and Eve and the garden and everything else with complete foreknowledge of this catastrophe (for which he is responsible).

And the case for him being the hero? Well, I guess according to the text, we have him to thank for our existence since he made everything. But since that "everything" includes hell and a guaranteed ticket there for the vast majority of humanity, that one point in his favor is hardly significant and is in fact a point against him.

This all of course depends on the narrative being factually accurate, which of course it isn't. But imagine trying to square all of this with a literal interpretation of this passage: anyone who worships this being is worshiping a monster.

Science Did That

People throughout the centuries have begged their gods for healing. We see the religious praying for healing. We see the faith healers preying upon their vulnerabilities. We hear of miracles like reversed blindness and re-growing toes.

We hear about this, but we don't see the evidence. The toe woman won't show any images of her toes. While it was supposedly happening, apparently no one videoed it or photographed it. People have written about it, and there's even a website called showmethetoes.com.

Crickets. Not a word.

And then science comes along and simply does what no god has ever done. It gives voice to someone who can't speak.

It makes the paralyzed able to walk.

Why is science superior to prayer? Because it works. Pure and simple.

Quote

What does an atheist know?

He doesn't know anything. He wonders astray. He doesn't know where north is, where south is, or where is the exit. He dies. And nothing. That's what it's all about.

No Rest in Hell

I recently dipped into a social media feed titled "HELL IS REAL" to see what kind of discussion goes on there. Not much discussion -- mainly just a bunch of disturbing memes.

Meme 1: No Rest in Hell

The question that comes immediately to mind: why would an all-loving and omniscient god create a bunch of creatures he knew would end up in eternal torment that he himself created? It just makes no sense.

Meme 2: Hell is not a joke

Two things struck me about this: first, the imagery is so disturbing. Second, "affirm yes"? Did the creator of this meme think that at some point we would be standing in front of God, and he'd patiently point out that we didn't affirm "Yes" (redundant much?) in our social media feed so it's off to eternal torment for us...

Meme 3: Hear Hell

This one is so oddly specific. If we could hear the people screaming in hell, we might not fornicate. We might lie; we might do drugs; we might murder (see meme below), but we sure as hell wouldn't fornicate.

Meme 4: Choices

Why is the devil eating this guy? And do hoodies lead you to hell?

Meme 5: Roads

If only this god who so wants to spend eternity with us had done a better job getting us to that point...


It's disturbing that in 2023 people still have such simplistic, brutal, and illogical views. They pass this poison on to children and scar them for life. I just can't understand how they can posit a) a loving god and b) an eternity of torment. It just makes no sense to me.

Observations and Scripture

A member of a Catholic forum recently asked the following question:

Should we allow our observations of the material world and the universe to inform our interpretation of scripture?

To many of us, this seems like a simple issue -- the cliche "no-brainer." It's literally asking, "Should the things we learn from humanity's scientific endeavors affect how we view a 2,000+ year-old book?" Of course it should! In what common-sense universe would it not?

But the responses went the other way:

We should allow the word of God to inform us of the interpretations of the study of the material world.

I'm not sure what the hell would be the point of this. If we were to do this, we would be looking for the firmament of water above the earth, and our study of genetics would consist of putting striped sticks by mating animals to see if it produced striped offspring. Hint: it won't. Yet both of these ideas are from the Bible...

Another response:

No, the opposite..we should view the world from a biblical perspective, seeing through the lens of the word so as not to be deceived

Talk about pots and kettles!

Unfortunately Predictable

I'm reading Is God a Vindictive Bully? by Paul Copan, which purports to square the "genocide, racism, ethnic cleansing, and violence" in the Old Testament with the seemingly different deity presented in the New Testament in the form of Jesus. I've tried to go into this with an open mind; I've tried to avoid presumptions and judgments before I read. But by page six, he's already making moves that put the argument exactly where I anticipated:

Consider a "golden rule" of interpretation: treat another's writing as you yourself would want your own writing to be treated. This doesn't mean being naive or uncritical; it does mean being charitable and fair as we honestly examine challenges in the text.

Is God a Vindictive Bully, 6.

Why would I treat the Bible the same as other documents? Christians claim it is the word of God: they claim that it's not like other ancient documents, and if it's written by a deity, it isn't like other documents. Why treat a supposed god's words with kid gloves? Why do I need to be "charitable and fair"? Wouldn't a god do a better job writing a document?

This hints at a problem I know will appear in this book: how does the tension between "God composed this book" and "humans physically wrote it down" resolve? No Christian would deny that humans wrote the actual physical Bible: it didn't just float down from heaven. However, they also claim that it is of divine origin. Humans, they insist, were just the instrument. The actual composition is God's. However, when apologists start using historical context to explain something, they have immediately removed the composition from God's purview and made the Bible a strictly-human document. It's coming--I know it is.

Random Picture for Today

Image from 2017 trip to Warsaw

Prayer Before Praying

Nothing could epitomize better the sense of worthlessness that Catholicism instills in its believers than this "prayer before praying." In it, the penitent admits that even when praying, when doing what the god of the Bible commands, he's a worthless pile of nonsense, and without a little bit of Jesus' blood smeared on his lips, he would say the most outrageous things...

But then there's the eternal problem with such things: if there should be a prayer before praying, shouldn't there be a prayer before praying the prayer before praying? And logically, shouldn't there be a prayer before praying the prayer before praying the prayer before praying? If nothing I say is worth saying without praying beforehand, and even that prayer is not worthy of anything other than scorn because I'm some useless shit of a sinner, shouldn't I just play it safe and keep my mouth shut?

Religious Time Machine

I've sometimes wondered what it might be like to travel back in time with our current understanding of the physical world to a time when people thought witches cast spells, that comets were harbingers of the future, that thunder and lightning were from the gods. What kind of frustrating hell would that be to experience others making decisions -- occasionally life and death decisions -- based solely on uneducated superstition? We would watch in horror as pseudo-physicians drilled holes in epileptics' heads to allow the evil spirits to escape. We would watch aghast as women accused of witchcraft were burned at the stake, crushed, drowned, and killed in ineffably evil ways. We would witness the spread of the Black Death through Europe and the accompanying brutal attacks against the Jews, whom the non-Jews viewed as responsible for the plague through supernatural means.

With all this swirling around us, we would, I think, find it difficult to keep quiet. As we would attempt to explain to these scientific illiterates the reality of germs, epilepsy, and the complete lack of evidence for the efficacy of witchcraft, we would likely find ourselves labeled as perpetrators of similar acts. Our defense would get us labeled as being "in league with the devil" and likely result in our own persecution or death. If we kept quiet, the frustration of watching people killed, maimed, and tortured in the name of superstition and illogic would take quite a toll on our mental health.

Yet we don't have to imagine what it would be like to live among the scientifically illiterate who have only the most tenuous grasp on logic because we already do. This is the reality we're experiencing now watching Qanon proponents try to explain that there is a group of Satan-worshipping pedophiles who harvest adrenochrome from kidnapped babies who are then raped and devoured. This is the reality we're experiencing now watching people make unsubstantiated claims about stolen elections even when adequate evidence to the contrary exists. This is the reality we're experiencing now watching people fall in line behind the far-right position that Russia is the good guy in its war with Ukraine, which has in fact been in various nefarious conspiracies with this or that group bent on world domination. People are swallowing whole lies that are so obviously and ridiculously false that it strains one's imagination that anyone could respond to such suppositions with anything other than incredulous laughter.

Why would people believe this?

It's simple: they're primed to believe things like this. Most of those who hold these various conspiracy theories are on the far-right of the political spectrum, and that usually aligns with the fundamentalist wing of Christianity. These individuals are disproportionally evangelical Christians, and this means they take the Bible literally. There really was a talking snake in the Garden of Eden (indeed, there really was a Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve). Balaam's donkey really did rebuke Balaam for beating him. Jonah really did survive in a fish for three days. People really do suffer demon possession that results in behavior suspiciously similar to epilepsy. And behind this all lurks an evil spirit secretly pulling the strings of all left-leaning individuals, institutions, and ideologies in an effort to ensnare souls and drag them down to hell with him.

Evangelicals are not the only ones holding these conspiracy theories; Catholics increasingly are falling for them as well. Their view of the source of evil in the world so much the less nuanced that they have a prayer about it:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil; May God rebuke him, we humbly pray; And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls.

Yet no matter whether Evangelical or Catholic, these fundamentalists have one thing in common: their religion itself is a conspiracy theory.