matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

education and teaching

Saturday in the Yard

I spent an hour this morning preparing for next week's lessons, and though I'd already readied an article for next week's Article of the Week, I ditched those plans when checking the news, I realized what today was: the thirtieth anniversary of the breach of the Berlin Wall. The fall? Well, I guess so -- once it was breached, the Wall was no more a wall.

I watched those reports on CBS Evening News realizing the momentousness of the event though perhaps not its personal significance.

I say "perhaps" and not "certainly" because it's a question: would I have met K had the Berlin Wall not come down? Communist control in Poland at that point were already teetering. Solidarność's revolution, with Wałęsa at the visible helm, had already gained traction -- almost a decade earlier -- and gone underground again only to reemerge to take all available seats in the sejm just a few months prior to this significant day 30 years ago. Perhaps Germany could have remained divided while Poland transformed, but all those regimes were like so many dominoes or a Jenga pile: once one went, they all went. So I might have gone to Poland; I might have met K; but there are no guarantees, certainly.

From that spins out a series of eventualities that are far from certainties.

Had all that happened, it's hard to see that I would live in Greenville now, that I, after having planned and prepared for a week of lessons at a local middle school, would spend a late Saturday morning trimming hedges, pulling the remains of flowers, and mowing.

Where I would be, what my life would look like -- it's impossible to say. But it strikes me as odd that events halfway around the world helped set a trajectory that ended with me pulling purple hearts from the flowerbed as K took the Boy to rehearsal for the Polish community's annual Christmas pageant.

I prepared the Article of the Week assignment and decided that instead of the usual multiple-choice questions about bias and central idea -- all designed to prepare students for the standardized testing that will consume the final weeks of school -- I would ask them a simple self-reflection question: "What will be the Fall-of-the-Berlin-Wall event of your adolescence? What world event do you think could happen that would change the course of history permanently for the better?" And unlike all those silly questions that I have check, I'll be eager to read their responses.

Looking for a Place

Everyone is looking for a place. I see it every day as a teacher of eighth-graders who try on different roles throughout the year and toy with various career goals as the months roll by. Today, we tried to help them a bit by providing a career day -- probably close to fifty professionals came in to talk to kids about what their jobs entail, what they require, how they're rewarding, how they're frustrating. A little bit of everything.

We guided our homeroom classes through three sessions, and my homeroom's second session was with a police detective. It quickly stopped being about potential jobs and transformed into a "... ever ... ?" session. Have you ever shot someone? (No, but I've pointed my gun at someone.) Do criminals ever leave notes like in movies? (No, but we've investigated some guy who was harassing females by leaving weird notes under their windshield wipers.) Have you ever been in a car chase? (Yes, but he was intoxicated and our top speed was 38 miles per hour.) Do you ever question people in those rooms with the windows that look like a mirror? (No, our interrogation room has cameras, and any officer in the building can watch the interrogation from his or her computer.) The vet and waterworks specialist didn't get a third of the questions.

The Girl is looking for her own place as well, specifically a place to improve her volleyball skills in the off-season. We as parents thought this would be fairly simple; we thought she'd get into any club she tried out for. After all, she played for her school, which went undefeated and won the final championship tournament. She'll have her pick. So why waste time trying out for more than one? We never thought about the obvious: clubs that have their regulars will choose their regulars over newcomers. And so this afternoon, I got an email:

Thank you for attending tryouts for X's 2019-20 club season. We had a record number of players trying out this year, so unfortunately we were not able to place everyone on a team. We are sorry to say that your daughter has not been selected for a X team.

I sent it to K. She texted back the obvious: "She'll be devastated." And she was. And we felt like terrible parents because we didn't do the research, didn't do the thinking. "And now all the other teams have finished tryouts -- what are we going to do?"

I was angry because I thought, "If she doesn't have the requisite skills, how is she going to get them if you don't let her on your freaking team?!"

It turned out, though, that two teams had make-up tryouts. One was at six this evening. We learned this at 5:05. So off we went.

The club owner said at the end that every girl will get some kind of offer: "If your daughter wants to play volleyball, wants to learn volleyball, we want to help." Already, I liked the team.

Tuesday

Today’s the last day of the first quarter. It’s been the same as every year: I feel like the first quarter is dragging and suddenly, we have a couple of weeks left. Once that feeling of the year speeding by settles in, I feel like the year goes by in a blink. We’re in that period of work-break-work-break that always makes the first semester seem shorter than the second. In a few days, we have two days for fall break. Then we have three weeks before Thanksgiving. That’s followed by another three weeks before Christmas. And then a few more breaks in January and February before everything dries up and we’re all dying for any kind of break at all. March and April seem endless. And it’s just October and I’m already thinking about the end of the year...

That means the Girl's birthday is approaching -- officially a teenager, with all the joys and challenges (i.e., challenges to authority) that entails. And all the changes in relationships that entails -- the pulling away that I know is coming, is already manifesting itself, that I worry is something I'm doing wrong while simultaneously reassuring myself that it's normal behavior for this age, that I acted like that at this age, that my parents and I survived it as will the Girl, K, and I (and E -- don't forget about the effect it has on him) will live through it.

Still, I find myself thinking, "How can it be ten years ago that she looked like this? It just feels like a couple..."

Big Brother

We got access today to some new software intended to help us rein in students’ abuse of Chromebooks. Basically, it enables all teachers to become Big Brother to students: we can see every single thing they do, block sites, shut down tabs, lock computers — the whole deal short of turning off the computer remotely. Since it’s based on time of day and rosters, I see the activity of students in, say, my fifth-period class whether or not they’re in the room: if they’re on the computer, I see it.

So when I saw one of my students who was serving in-school suspension on YouTube, I closed the tab. When he started searching for Louis Vuitton shoes, I closed that down.

When he started searching for it again, I locked his computer with the message, “You won’t be able to afford those shoes if you don’t have a good job. You’ll have difficulty getting a good job if you don’t get a good education.” After a few minutes, I unlocked his computer, and he went back to luxury shoe searches. I locked it again, leaving it locked until the end of the session.

Another student who was in the room with him was talking about how this kid’s computer kept getting locked up. “He was so mad,” this kid told his friend.

If this were a kid who normally did his work, I probably would have just ignored it. If I hadn’t just gotten access to the software (and the class hadn’t been taking a test), I probably wouldn’t have noticed it as I wouldn’t have been on the computer and wouldn’t have had the program open. Then again, if he hadn’t been in ISS, he would have been in my room, taking the test.

If, if, if…

The Swan

Written in seventh period.

A just made my day — “The Swan!” she cried, recognizing the music playing. Everyone around her looked at her as if she were crazy. “The Swan! Camille Saint-Saëns!” Still, everyone looked at her as if she were speaking a foreign language, which in a way, she was. How many eighth graders in 2019 even know who Camille Saint-Saëns is, let alone could recognize his work.

I find that, like poetry, classical music requires too much thinking for the modern ear. Motifs appear and then don’t reappear for many measures. Motifs are so long sometimes that it’s difficult to determine that they’re even part of a repeating pattern. The modern attention span is just not long enough to handle it.

Motivation

Written in seventh period

What motivates me? That depends on what we’re talking about. What motivates me to go to work? Honestly, at its most basic level, it’s the desire to make sure I’m providing for my family. We have to pay for someplace to live, some food to eat, and the like.

But just about any job could provide that: there are plenty of jobs that pay as much as what I earn as a teacher that I could have selected, I guess; there are plenty of jobs that pay more–some, much more–than I what I earn as a teacher, so the next question would have to be, “What motivates me to be a teacher?” Part of it is that I just like working with kids. It keeps me in touch with new ideas. And the behavior is part of it as well: when an adult acts like a child, I find it much more infuriating and difficult to put up with than when a child acts like a child. When kids are petty, they’re just being kids–they’ll outgrow it. When adults are being petty, there’s a likely chance that that’s just how they are–they won’t outgrow it. I can’t put up with that. I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, and when someone did something foolishly immature, it would grate on my nerves.

Long Week

Written in seventh period

This has been an absolutely endless week. When Monday lasts a week in and of itself, it’s no surprise that by the time Wednesday rolls around we all feel like it must be Saturday. Add to it the simple and dumb fact that I stayed up longer than I really needed to last night means I am utterly and completely exhausted, yawning endlessly and wondering if I can make it to this evening without falling asleep.

Not having to put E to bed tonight will certainly help. I do love how he cuddles up to me when it’s bedtime, but on a night like tonight, “Snuggle Time” as he loves to call it would prove deadly: I’d fall asleep and then spend the rest of the evening in a daze.

I look at my students now and none of them seem like they could possibly be as tired as I am. A just types away, gnawing on her lanyard without a trace sleepiness in her eyes. R is so calm and simply focused — typing, typing, typing. L’s cracking a smile as she types, suggesting that she’s alert enough to write something amusing and then recognize it as such. Everyone looks like their thirteen or fourteen and filled with energy. At nearly forty-seven, I feel like my battery is always hovering at around 14% — just enough to get you through the rest of the day but nothing more.

Open House

Written in sevneth period.

Last night we had open house here at Hughes. In some ways, I really don’t enjoy that, but that’s only because of how long it makes the day. It’s a small price for what actually occurs. I got to meet several students’ parents, and while it’s no different in some ways from Meet the Teacher night, the real difference lies in me: I know the kids now. They’re not just names on a roster. I know how they act, how they think (to a degree), what makes them laugh, how well they do with this or that skill. They’re no longer just names on a paper but people with whom I work. An odd thought: my students as my coworkers. Not an odd thought–an unconventional thought.

Open House

We have Meet the Teacher night before the school year gets started, but all the students are still just unknown names on rosters. By the time tonight rolls around, when parents come to ramble through the school and follow their children's schedules, I have faces to go with the names. And personalities. And fears. And excitements.

I got a chance to talk to C's parents. She's new to the school, having changed schools just at the start of the final year of middle school. A tough time to make that switch. "She's having a tough time," her mother confided in me. She misses her friends; she misses her teachers; she misses not having such a strict dress code -- all the worries of a thirteen-year-old, I suppose.

I got a chance to talk to I's mother and tell her what a powerful leader she can be in class. "She was making sure everyone in the class stayed on task today, really taking a strong leadership role," I told her. Both I and her mother smiled.

I got a chance to talk to A's parents. A is, in his mother's words, "a diamond in the rough." All parents see their kids like that, I know, but I think that's really an accurate description of A. He displays flashes of brilliance in his comments and performance at times, but they're often couched in moments of apparent apathy. Or insecurity. It's hard to tell with eighth-graders. I think it's hard for them to tell sometimes.

I and K with the rest of the 100%-ers

I got to meet K's mother. K is in the same class as I. They're real gems. K has made it to the 100% club every week (i.e., 100% positive behavior as recorded in Class Dojo). Her mom saw that and whipped out her phone. "I'm getting a picture of this!" K laughed and tugged on her arm. "No! No! This needs a picture!" If only every child could have a parent that supportive.

I didn't get to meet other parents, parents I really wanted to talk to because of genuine concerns that are growing. Sure, I can call them, perhaps email them, but talking to them in person is always so much more productive. I try not to judge -- maybe they had to work or had prior commitments -- but I can't help but see a correlation.

Montressor

We had one of my favorite lessons in English I today. I love that moment when everyone has the realization that Montressor is receiving the sacrament of Last Rites. It always kind of frustrates me that no one has ever gotten the importance of that one word, that little “You” that gets the ball rolling. I sometimes think that if I could set things up with some background knowledge, get them reading some texts that deal with the idea of confession, that they might figure that out. But still, how to do that without giving it to them immediately? As I told Emily A, the struggle is almost more important than the right answer. The struggle is where we build our mental muscles.

All classes have gone fairly well today. I’m exhausted, yawning and longing for a cup of coffee, but that is always a good sign. But still, on this end of seventh period, feeling the heaviness in my head, wishing I could just lie down and take a little nap, I wish I wasn’t quite so tired even if that means lessons didn’t go quite so well.