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Watching Somebody Love Something

Donald Miller begins his memoir Blue Like Jazz with an “Author’s Note” that reads, in part,

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I never really liked dance until I watched my daughter dance rapturously. Any type of music will get her moving, including the pre-programmed light jazz numbers saved in the memory of the small digital piano we bought a few years ago. She shows me the new steps she has to learn in her new jazz dance class, explaining that she’s doing them very carefully now but will eventually have to get them much faster.

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Then she begins improvising, a mix of the ballet and jazz she’s learned mixed with some of the Polish Highlander style her mother continually shows her and some of her own imaginative moves.

It’s a skill I hope she keeps for the rest of her life, this ability to mix classical training (of a sort) with regional traditions and her own imagination — expanding it beyond dance, there’s no telling what she could accomplish.

Parade of Princesses

Hoards of little girls in their Sunday best roaming about downtown on a Sunday afternoon could mean only one thing: the Nutcracker is in town. The Girl and I had a father-daughter day out, and what an outing: a professional ballet company performing the Christmas classic. We sat in the center of the third row, and L sat on the edge of her seat for most of the performance — until the end, when she fell asleep.

Maybe next year…

Princess Camp

Princess ballet camp every Tuesday. Can you imagine anything any better?

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The final session today ended with a performance, which included a bit of insight into how the little ballerinas get ready -- the stretching, the prep.

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Recital 2012

The Boy’s first outing back in late May was to the Girl’s ballet recital.

Recital 2012

The Girl feels she’s been playing second fiddle for the last two weeks. She never says it, but it’s clear. Add to it the frustration she must feel to hear “No, not now” to her constant requests to hold the Boy and it’s fairly clear that we needed a night like tonight.

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Recital night — the evening L has been talking about constantly for a week or more now. “Wednesday is my rehearsal,” she began saying last week, “and Thursday is my recital.” She told friends; she told teachers; she told strangers in the checkout line.

“We’ve got to make her feel truly special,” K said, and so we bought two bouquets and a box of her favorite chocolates — just what every ballerina needs.

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And she got the added bonus of staying up well past her bedtime, a fact which impressed and pleased her enough that she repeated it several times on the way back to the car. Of course the evening photo session made everything a touch later, too.

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Magic

Some days just seem filled with it.

Source of Taste

A little fire, a lot of smoke, and one ends up with peppercorn-covered, smoky tenderloin magic.

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A few twigs of evergreen and a sweet helper and one ends up with a charmed Christmas ornament, a mini-tree for the kitchen.

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And there's always the magic of dancing.

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Why We Laughed

"They were laughing at us." L had just gotten off stage, and K, backstage to help with the recital, was there to greet her. Indeed, we in the audience were laughing a great deal through the night, but it obviously bothered some of the children, our daughter included.

Why did we laugh? I fumbled about with an explanation yesterday, but I went to bed thinking about it and woke up with it still on my mind.

If adults had been doing this, we might have called it a disaster. They stumbled about sometimes. They often looked to the side, desperate for a cue from someone wiser. Some stood, looking at the others, trying to remember what they should be doing at this or that particular moment. They were only vaguely uniform at some points, with some putting their arms down as others just began raising theirs.

Yet because they were children, everything changed. Disasters became masterpieces: flubs became arabesques; stumbles transformed into bourre; miscues became fouette; hesitant jumps became grand jets.

Further, if these had been adult dancers, they never would have appeared on stage. Ego would have prevented it, and that's part of what we mean when we say that these children are cute because they're innocent. They're not so concerned with unattainable perfection, and they're filled with joy just to be dancing.

I think we laugh, then, because we see ourselves in these little dancers and realize that, in so many ways, they have more courage than we have, and we laugh at the joy that courage brings us.

Recital

Parenting is often about firsts when there's only one child. First this, first that -- first dance recital.

I've never been interested in dance, but even if I were, I'd pick a small-town dance school's summer recital over even the greatest ballet. There's a charm and an innocence in the young girls that unifies an auditorium filled with strangers and makes us all feel truly optimistic for 120 minutes.

Of course, it was the Girl's scene that stole my heart.

Later, we had a sad conversation. "Tata, they were laughing at us."

How do you explain the joy behind the laughter? How do you explain that the audience was enjoying the performance so much that it brought them to laughter? K and I tried, but I'm not sure we convinced her.

Dancing

The Girl loves dancing. We've known that for some time, and made videos and photos several times.

It's such an odd thing for me, a complete non-dancer. She can hear music that she likes, and she'll jump up and start dancing -- in the kitchen, in the living room, in her room.

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I imagine if any of her favorites came on the radio while we're out shopping, she'd dance about there as well.

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She dances to anything. K puts on Polish folk music and within minutes, the Girl has burst into the living room and is dancing. Anything by Chopin gets her swaying almost majestically.

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Elvis Costello can get her feet moving so fast it looks likes she's running in place.

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It is the ultimate sign of a love of music.

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Our hope is that it will last and deepen over the years.

Beginnings

L has been dancing whenever she hears music from the time she could stand. At first, it was only rhythmic bouncing with her knees and upper body. As her motor control improved, so did her moves.

So great is her love of motion that she’ll gladly sit and watch others dance. One of her favorite videos to watch is a clip about one young English lady’s ballet instruction, and from the first time she watched, she declared, “I’m a ballerina!”

Now, at close to four years old, she’s finally of the age that we can actually begin to make that reality.

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A quick trip to the ballet supply store, a few phone calls, and we have a reluctant ballerina.

L is a cautious girl: she doesn’t just dive into this or that without concern. She is, in short, a worrier. And so on the first day of ballet, though she had been talking about it all week, she fretted that she might not like it after all.

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Fear set in, and before long, she was declaring, “I don’t want to go.” No amount of cajoling could convince her.

The Opportunities-We-Never-Had dilemma set in: we never want to force her to participate in anything creative — where’s the joy in that? Yet we knew that if we could just get her there, just let her see the other girls dancing, that all would be well.

Finally, K simply declared that in order to cancel the lessons, L herself had to go with Mama to  cancel the lessons.

She ended up staying.

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Saturday morning, before her second lesson, L was all smiles.