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Tuesday 16 December 2014
birthday
"Today is a triple header," Father Boyle said today at Mass. "Mother's Day, Good Shepherd Sunday, and First Communion." He left out one thing: E's Happy Birthday.
First, food.

Grilled onions, hamburgers, hot dogs, grilled corn, Greek spinach salad, Black Forest cake, and fresh fruit.

With a beginning like that, what could go wrong? Sure, not everyone's crazy about hot dogs. Sure, the idea of grilled corn Indian style (i.e., smeared with lemon dipped in Cayenne pepper) sets some people on fire. Sure, not everyone likes strawberries. (Really? On what planet?) Still, food brings people together like few other things. Perhaps that's why the Lord's Supper is just that. Breaking bread together is truly an ancient tradition.

Perhaps not as ancient as some traditions, like motherhood. By now, it's almost cliche, but where would we be without mothers? Silly question; silly tradition. We shouldn't need a special day to honor our mothers. We should be doing it on a daily, no hourly basis.But we don't, so it's for the best that one day a year we decide deliberately to honor our mothers. Our fathers have to wait another month.
But E: he only had to wait for the cake.


And then came the fun. For E, the present selection process was simple: anything with wheels. Is it a cliche? Who cares -- he is simply obsessed with any and all vehicles, and knowing this simplified present choices for everyone.



But the real present of true he received long ago, when I was so blessed to marry the woman I married. L's best present, too. And mine.

Theoretically unnecessary or not (come on -- must we be reminded to be thankful for those who cleaned our backsides and spanked them too?), I'm still glad we have Mother's Day.
The first party was such an event. Our first child's first birthday party was, in a word, a first. This is not to say that successive years the significance of birthday parties has diminished. But firsts are firsts. With practice we've gotten better at the parties. Practice makes perfect.

















In short, though, we've found that it's simpler to pay other people to do the big stuff -- the food, the cake, the drinks -- while we focus on the fun. This year, an ice skating party. The Girl had a head-start, or perhaps foot-start, with all the roller skating she did this autumn on our fresh concrete drive. Her first ice adventure was halting, with complete reliance on the walker-like skating aid. This year, after a few minutes' instruction, she was ready to head off on her own.






















In a sense, that's what birthday parties are all about, getting children ready to head off on their own. In her own time, in her own time, some might say. Still, even a seventh birthday is a suggestion of the development that is simultaneously distant and just around the bend.



I only have to look at E to be reminded how quickly it can pass.
Our generosity knows no bounds: for K’s birthday, L and I brought back a piece of wood from Babcia’s kindling pile. You’d think it was a little bit of a trick to get through customs, what with all the questions they ask you about bringing back animal products and farm soil. Surely a chunk of wood would be verboten.
Even if it was intended as support and protection of a painting.
Perhaps Babcia had the right idea: give metal.
Almost three weeks have passed since the Boy turned one. Three weeks of postponing a party because of illness, because of Memorial Day, because of whatever. So the party is not just a year in the making; it’s a year and three crucial weeks in the making.
We’d planned an outdoor party with games for the kids to correspond with Dzien Dziecka in Poland. A simple plan: potato sack race, water balloon toss, foot race, egg race, and other outdoor favorites starting around three in the afternoon. Afterward, an early dinner and cake.
All outside. I mean, we have a dual-level deck, a carport (that actually used to be a screened patio), and a fairly abundant yard.
It was a week of beautiful weather that we spent in school and at work. But this party shone in the near-future as a reward for all our time inside that we really wanted to be out. And then the updated forecast yesterday: good chance of scattered showers.
By one this afternoon, the chance of showers turned into a certainty of a seemingly-extended downpour. It rained, and rained, and grew drearier and grayer.
“This is just like our wedding,” I grumbled to K. We’d had a week of glorious weather until the morning of our August wedding, when it began drizzling, then raining, then drizzling, then spitting.
“It’ll stop,” K reassured.
“No, it won’t. It will be like this all day,” I replied.
I tend to be a pessimist in such situations. It’s not that I hope to be right; it’s simply that I try to expect the worst so I can be pleasantly surprised if anything brighter emerges.
As it turned out, we were both right, both wrong.
It stopped shortly after all the guests arrived.
We made a quick plan: cake first, then outdoor games if the rain continues to slack.
After cake, we rushed out, finished the games, and as the last shot flew toward the goal,
as the last velcro-covered ball floated to the target, the drizzle returned and wen headed back inside.
Lunch/dinner was a mix of smoked meats, salads, bread — fairly typical Polish fare. The kids picked, the adults ate.
Meal completed and ice cream served, we moved to the living room for presents.
It’s an ironic process for a one-year-old. There’s not much unwrapping he can do. And often the packaging is as entertaining as the toy itself. Yet it’s a birthday: part of the highlight is the unwrapping.
Such was the case today.
The most thoughtful gift: a broom. J, who keeps E during the week, lives just up the street, and she came with her daughter, mother-and-law, and a broom.
“He just loves our broom, and I thought he’d like to have one his own size.”
But there was no time to play with the broom — and no room, for he likes to swing and sway with it in a most dangerous way when the room is so crowded. Never mind — there was plenty to distract him.
New toys. semi-new friends. (How much can a one-year-old remember of another toddler he hasn’t seen in ages?)
The mess afterward was truly enormous. But that’s the sign of a good party, a good mess.
The rain, though? It returned in full force shortly after we went inside and continued into the evening. The older children resorted to that old-fashioned play technique: creativity and imagination.
The rain continued, the children cleaned up the mess, the guests returned home (with Nana and Papa staying longer to help with the clean-up), and K and I set about getting the kids in bed.
Not a bad first birthday party. Perhaps when he looks at these pictures, the Boy will remember something, if only the feeling of excitement.

Four thoughts, one for each decade:
There was a banner across the entrance to the house when my mother's cousin turned forty. "Lordy! Lordy! C's forty!" It seemed to be such a big deal, her turning forty. She was aghast, horrified. Or at least she pretended to be.
I was more curious about the banner they might hang the next decade: the only thing I could think of to rhyme with "fifty" was "nifty."
When I turned thirty, I had a party. Not a lot of people; not a lot of food; not a lot of anything except dancing and the other thing that goes along with Polish parties.

It was a fun and funny night, with my best friends and my then-girlfriend, now-wife.
Doesn't feel like being thirty-nine. Or twenty-nine. But who would have thought it would? Or should?




