matching tracksuits

fun in threes, sometimes fours

Day 13: Landscaping

Saturday 28 March 2020

A house is a never-ending project, inside and out. There's always something to fix, move, repaint, replant, shorten, lengthen, reinforce, replace, recalibrate, nail, screw, fasten, dig, hoe, spread, gather, clean, spray, scrub, feed, kill, water, or simply do. Our yard has been part of this ever-growing project, with a couple of landscaping elements that weren't even there when we moved in and some that were there long gone, and some that we put in ourselves also long gone.

Our driveway planter has now grown and joined the original planter in the front yard that has changed very little since we moved in.

It also grew at the road end as well: the elderberries that were languishing in the backyard are now in the front yard, and we can't just plant elderberries in the yard and be done with it...

Day 12: The Project

Friday 27 March 2020

The Boy's teacher was ambitious: a project during their time out of school. "Design your own island." The Boy came up with Ice Cream Island, with volcanos that spew ice cream, a chocolate lake, and a whipped cream waterfall...

The Girl let him use her paints with the understanding that she could help.

Day 11: Safe in Bed

Thursday 26 March 2020

Everyone is safely in bed, and I find myself thinking that this is the sweetest moment of the day because I can reassure myself with the knowledge that everyone is in the safest place imaginable -- their own bed. "We made it through another day," I can think.

In the past, this thought rarely popped up. These days, it's a daily realization.

In the past, this thought reassured a fear (that something could go dreadfully, nearly-fatally wrong) that I rarely experienced. These days, that anxiety is a daily shadow, adding a touch of gray to most everything if I let it. And when I think of it after not having thought about it consciously for some time, I'm grateful for the respite.

This is not to say I go around in near-paranoia about COVID-19. But I realized today that we go through this crisis with the assumption that nothing is going to happen to us -- all those who are sick, all those who die, they are not us and will not be -- just like we do with everything else. Smokers know that inhaling smoke into the lungs can ultimately result in cancer, but because it doesn't happen 100% of the time, everyone has that wiggle room: "Yes, it happens a lot, but it won't happen to me."

With a pandemic, though, I don't know that we could really function any other way. We go through all the precautions yet still have to take chances, going out shopping with the realization that asymptomatic people could be anywhere but with the hope that social distancing and proper hygiene will ultimately keep us safe. I don't know that we could function any other way and not fall into a depressed fatalism that paralyzes.

So when everyone is in bed, I can say to myself, "They're safe once again."

Yet how many dangers lurk around us that, were we cognizant of them, would paralyze many of us with terror? Maybe none; maybe countless. Just look at the run on supermarkets that just occurred. When people are scared, they panic. Panic leads to pandemonium. Just how close to societal collapse are we at any given moment? Probably much closer than we like to think, so we don't think about it. We all do our part and rely on everyone else following suit.

Online scavenger hunt
Online scavenger hunt

If there's any blessing that comes from this whole thing, it should be the realization -- a collective epiphany -- that we are much more fragile than we would ever like to think, both as biological and societal organisms. The technology of modernity has led us to believe that we're invincible, but, of course, we aren't. I wonder if a loss of that sense of invincibility is the terror that would paralyze some. In other words, a willful obliviousness to our own fragility.

Day 10, Part 2: Blooms and Games

Wednesday 25 March 2020

Day 10, Part 1: Perspective

Wednesday 25 March 2020

A video from March 10 detailing the pandemic in Iran and officials' refusal to take it seriously:

A video from March 24 detailing the pandemic in Mexico and officials' refusal to learn from Iran:

 

Day 9: Conferencing

Tuesday 24 March 2020

Our admin staff held the first video conferencing session today at 9:30 on Google Meet. We'd had an informal one earlier in the week, but with everyone talking, it was far too chaotic for me. I thought I'd lose it. Very hard to follow. It seems everyone learned from the experience: the principal was unmuted, everyone else was asked to mute themselves. Questions went in through the chat box option.

E's class had their first video conferencing session on Zoom today. At 12:30 everyone logged on and the chaotic chatter began. The teacher had a clever idea: use classroom management techniques for quieting everyone. "If you can hear me, touch your nose." Everyone got a chance to chat and tell everyone what they were up to. The Boy seemed awfully quiet. When his turn came, he simply passed.

I held my first online conferencing session with students just after the Boy's. I used Google Meet. It stinks. After participating in a Meet and leading one, I've determined that it is useful for chaotic nonsense only unless everyone is muted but one or two. Next time, Zoom.

Still, it was a relief to see the kids again. It's only been a little over a week, but it feels like so much longer. "It's so much different than, say, spring break," I told them. "During a break, you know that in a week or two, you'll see your students again. Here -- who knows when we'll meet in person again?"

Afterward, once it finally stopped raining, I suggested to the kids that we take the dog for a walk. They jumped on it enthusiastically. The simple pleasures are becoming pleasures for them again. If there's one bright side to this whole pandemic, it's that.

On the walk, the Boy and I got to talking about favorite books and authors. "I think my favorite author is Roald Dahl," he said, then asked me about my favorite books.

"I think Absalom, Absaom! is the best book ever written," I said, wondering how he'd respond.

"Is that a book a kid could read?"

"No, most definitely not." I wouldn't even suggest to my best readers in honors classes to tackle that book. It's beyond challenging the first time through. Perhaps not as bad as Finnegan's Wake or even Ulysses, but quite a challenge.

"What other books do you like?" he asked when I'd finished explaining all that.

"I'm partial to Charles Dickens," I said.

"Didn't he write Moby Dick?" asked L.

"No, that was Herman Melville. But now that I think about it, I believe I see a little similarity between Dahl and Dickens."

E raised his eyebrows as he does when he's excited.

"They both tend to give characters names that somehow reflect their character." I explained how "Trunchbull" from Matilda seems to be a portmanteau of "truncheon" and "bull."

When we got back, I introduced E to "Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems." "Do you know how he is?" I asked.

"Yeah, he wrote the pigeon books and pig and elephant."

Then, at a little past three, I get this statement from the governor:

At this time, students, parents, and families should plan for South Carolina’s schools to remain closed through the month of April. Our dedicated teachers and school administrators have done a tremendous job in making it possible for our students to learn at home. We understand that the prospect of schools remaining closed for an extended period of time places stress and strain on parents and children. Rest assured, if there is any way to safely open our schools earlier, we will do that, but schools must remain closed to protect the health and safety of South Carolinians.

So it seems our adventure is just beginning. The worries will build, I'm sure, as the cases rise in our little state, and as our president begins to make noises that indicate he thinks money is more important than lives, I wonder if a crisis in government might accompany the crisis in our national well-being.

But as long as everyone ends up safely tucked in their beds at night, my primary anxiety is assuaged.

Day 8: Rain

Monday 23 March 2020

It was supposed to rain all day today. It was also supposed to be a day off school today, which would have made the rain seem particularly dreary as we would probably have gone out and done something on this early spring day. Since this is the sixth day without school, it just felt like the new normal.

In the morning, while K was reading with E, I spent some time working on a couple of web sites I’m creating, one for a friend’s about-to-be-launched home organization company and the other an online guide for the church we usually attend (the parish built a new church just a few years ago). The virus, though, has put a damper on both projects: no one would start a business right now, and the church is closed.

Once I completed what I wanted to do, it was nearing lunch. And it was also about time that I help hang L’s pegboard that she got from Ikea two months ago. I don’t like to rush into anything. And I didn’t have the appropriate drywall anchors. And I kept forgetting to get them in Home Depot.

Of course, there had to be some playtime. The Boy and I worked with Legos: he built a car; I built a suspension bridge. When she saw it, K laughed that I should have been an architect. (Forget for a moment that it’s actually civil engineers who design bridges — I knew what she meant.)

“Actually, I did. For several years.” I took drafting in high school to that end. “But then I realized I didn’t want to do that for the rest of my life. And besides, if I’d gone that route, who knows if I would have ended up in Lipnica?” Which is to say, who knows if we would have met? A change in career choice determined who I married? Perhaps. Perhaps not. It’s impossible to say.

It’s that kind of dumb luck — or lack thereof — that has me worried now. Our family is largely isolating itself, but someone has to go to the store occasionally, as I did this morning. (Only one dozen eggs per customer, I learned at checkout.) How many asymptomatic people are walking around? We take precautions, but in the end, it’s just a crapshoot in a sense. Just like so many other things in life that seem inevitable, I suppose.

Finally, in the afternoon, it stopped raining for a while. The kids and I went out to walk the dog. In the evening, it seemed like it had stopped again, but by the time we’d gotten ready and headed outside, it had started misting again. And then stopped. And in crawled L, rollerblades still on, to tell us, “Come on! It’s stopped! Let’s go!”

Day 7: Sunday

Sunday 22 March 2020

With the diocese of Charleston making the decision to close all churches in the current emergency, today had a different feel from most Sundays and a somewhat different feel from the previous six days.

Previous six days? Has this only been going on a week? It was indeed a week ago that we learned the governor of South Carolina was closing all schools for the rest of the month, but I swear it feels like that was weeks ago. I know it's been going on for several months now with the original outbreak in China, and while I'm tempted to go on a rant here about how much time we wasted between that initial outbreak in China and even a week ago when everything started shutting down all because our narcissistic shallow president views everything as if it's about him and went so far as to call the pandemic a hoax at one of his rallies and still behaves as if this will all blow over because he's now taking it seriously and pretending to put some resources into it -- no, I'll resist that urge and simply point out that it feels like it's been longer than a week.

First, there was no church -- no Mass at a church, that is. Second, there was church -- something like it, a series of readings and a recorded homily that Kinga, the kids, and Papa did while I was out taking the dog for a walk. It just didn't feel like a Sunday.

Is it possible that someone could look at this and understand how much exponentially worse it could get with a different virus with, say, a 60% death rate and understand that something like that could very well lurking in our future and still, understanding that a belief in God would necessitate an acceptance that God would have also created such a virus, it would have been in his plan, part of his mysterious ways -- could someone hold all this in their head and still believe in a benevolent god? Thinking how relatively mild this is compared to what could be or even has been makes it all but impossible for me.

Another change: we got a new hot water heater installed today. We've been wanting to do it for some time, and I've had a feeling that our old heater was going to malfunction any day. The guys who did the installation for us -- the guys who did the renovation of the carport, turning it into Papa's room -- were going to come next week, but with so much uncertainty, they decided to come today. We're expecting a significant drop in our power bill as this was our last power-hungry appliance/system in our house. Changing the HVAC system cut our power bill by 30-50% (depending on the usage); this change should result in additional significant savings considering the heater dates from 1992 -- the year after I graduated from high school.

Why am I so negative about all this? Why do I see only gray to any silver lining? It's my eternal battle.

In the afternoon, the kids and I went out in the backyard to -- guess -- shoot. The dog does not like when we shoot as she gets stuck up on the deck for her own good...

E and I have figured out that if we fire toward something a little bit darker than the surrounding area, we can actually follow the flight of the bb, so we've taken to firing into the forest behind our neighbor's house on occasion. We've also been trying to shoot from various positions in the yard, all of them significantly farther away from where we normally shoot. And we still take shots at the dog's fetch ball because, well, why not?

After shooting, the Girl decided to bake a cake. The aesthetics were something like I would produce, but that comes with time. The taste is all that matters, and I think we all agreed: it was delicious.

Random day, random thoughts.

Day 6: A Realization

Saturday 21 March 2020

While working in the yard today, I got to thinking about the rumor I heard from a neighbor that the rest of the school year was going to be canceled, moved to online learning. I’d thought this myself, but hearing another person say it made it seem like less like one of the silly thoughts that sometimes rumble around my brain and more like a possible outcome.

What a sad realization then when I thought, “It’s a very real possibility that the last time I saw those kids was that Friday, just over a week ago now.” In some ways, this has been my favorite group of students: a fun mix of varied personalities with relatively few high-maintenance (i.e., poorly behaving) students. Sure, there are some talkers, but that’s nothing compared to issues I’ve faced in the past.

And instead of saying goodbye to them, wishing them well, sending them on their way, it just came to an end.

That’s the fear — because deep down, despite the facade I wear at school, I’m a sentimental schmuck and things like this bother me…

Day 5: Toilet Paper

Friday 20 March 2020

We had TP from the last time we purchased it -- we tend to buy in bulk from one of the warehouse stores a few times a year. It's amazing how long 48 rolls of TP will last. But all things come to an end, and we were nearing the end of our collection, so this morning, there was only one must-do item on the agenda: get toilet paper.

Working on her argumentative essay

I headed to the Publix down the street just before seven. "Get there when we open at seven," a cashier had told K a few days earlier, so that's what I did. Only to discover that in the intervening days, they'd changed their hours and were now opening only at eight.

In the meantime, I went to a couple of other stores just in case. Nothing.

It's the second international crisis, a crisis of inconvenience (and incontinence, I suppose).

Getting ready for dinner outside

I returned just before eight to find several people waiting outside. The doors opened and we all headed to the same aisle. There was a fair amount of toilet paper, and everyone could get two packages, but I decided one twelve-roll package would last. "Let's not behave like the other people who caused all this," I thought.