Holy Saturday 2017
Month: April 2017
Good Friday 2017
Good Friday in our family is just as it would be in Poland: work, work, work, then more work, work, work, then church -- not for Mass because that's not celebrated on Good Friday, but rather the Liturgy of Good Friday -- then back home for more work, work, and still more work.
K, after a small breakfast, spent most of the day in the kitchen. Doing what? I'm really not sure. Baking, I know. Fixing lunch. Other than that? I don't know: I spent the entire morning giving the carport a good scrubbing, literally from top to bottom.
The kids got into the spirit, too, helping me by cleaning every single thing we'd taken out of the carport. E was a little upset because he felt at times he didn't have a real part in helping out, and for him, that's about the worst thing he can experience.
"Have I ever told you how happy it makes me that you are so eager to help?" I said at one point as he was using an improvised squeegee to pull away water that was puddling in the corner of the stairs to the kitchen from the carport.
"Yes." I often play this little verbal game with him. "Have I ever told you..." followed by something I tell him all the time. If it's "I love you," he smiles and shouts, "Everybody knows that!" One thing I haven't told him is how much joy it gives me that he consistently says "Yes" as opposed to "Yeah."
"I hope you always stay that way," I said.
"I will." I really don't doubt it.
At the church, it was like being in Poland again. Our pastor is a very traditional priest. (In most aspects, that is. He's married with kids, which is rare among Catholic priests, but not so rare among Anglican priests who convert to Catholicism and after years get a dispensation from the pope for the discipline of celibacy. But that's another story.) He's really a "Say the red; do the black" priest, which means traditions that I haven't seen since Poland are present everywhere, including the use of wooden clappers during Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday liturgies. One site explains it thus:
In most liturgical services during the year, the consecration of the bread and wine is marked by the ringing of altar bells. The Easter Triduum, consisting of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday, is a time that is set apart from the rest of the liturgical calendar. Because these three days represent the three days that Jesus spent in his tomb before he was resurrected, they are traditionally marked by increased silence during mass. In traditional catholic worship services, the last time the altar bells are rung before Easter is on the evening of Holy Thursday. In between then and the Easter Vigil, a wooden clacker is used. A wooden clacker, sometimes called a wooden clapper, serves the same function as the altar bells. The clacker is sounded at the consecration of the gifts during the liturgy of the Eucharist, reminding the congregation of the awesome transformation that takes place at these moments.
So we knelt and stood, knelt and stood, kissed the cross, and felt at home.
Back at home, we got back to work, putting everything back in its proper place. K ran to the store for the thousandth time. (I've got a few store runs waiting for me tomorrow, without a doubt, but it wouldn't be Holy Saturday otherwise.) The Boy finally got to use the pressure washer, helping clean out the cuts in the concrete portion of the driveway, which resulted in a wonderfully dirty little boy.
At bath time, looking at himself in the mirror, he said, "It was a great day!"
I think we all agree.
Holy Thursday 2017
Last night, I went out to get something I’d left in my car, and as I was opening my car door, I heard behind me a thunk. I turned and saw silhouetted against lights of the house a shape that moved ever so slightly. For a moment, I thought it might be a raccoon: we have them all over the place, including in a hole in our neighbors’ Sweet Gum near the base of our driveway. That didn’t make sense though: why in the world would a raccoon jump onto the car? And would it even be possible? Sure, one had jumped onto our deck once several years ago, but that jump was from our not-so-long-gone gas/AC package unit, a jump of about three feet.
A closer look showed it wasn’t a raccoon but looked positively owl-esque. I walked slowly to the back of the van and saw that it was indeed an owl. It came back this morning, drawn by the birds nesting in our downspout. Determining that there was no way it could get to the birds, it left as quickly as it came.
That was probably good, because everyone had lots to get done today. For K, it was a baking day. She finally was able to bake a miodownik like her mother always bakes. “You have to bake four sheets, and we never had an oven big enough,” she explained. Now we do.
So K baked and baked while I was out cutting grass and cleaning up the lawn for our Easter guests.
I got the kids out to help by picking up Sweet Gum seed balls, the spiky little bits of hell that can spawn dozens of almost-impossible-to-kill saplings each. They decided to count as they collected. Front and back yard yielded over six hundred, they said. And the probably only got about thirty percent of them in total.
They finished up just in time to do some egg painting. K tried some new method that involved whipped cream (or shaving foam) and food coloring, which remained a mystery to me throughout the process,
but the girls elected to go with more traditional methods. An egg painting mini-party has always been a staple in our Easter preparations, but it’s been on the decline over the last few years. This year, it was at its most minimalistic.
One chore left: smoking the meat. Two racks of ribs, two pork loins, six large chicken breasts. The ribs will go into K’s Easter żurek along with generous amounts of horseradish. The soup is my favorite part of the whole meal.
The soup is my favorite part of the whole meal.
Palm Sunday 2017
Making the palm.
Relaxing in the evening.
Helping Saturday
The Boy likes to help. That's established. Everybody knows that, as he might say. Often his help is anything but help, yet it's always welcomed: he's learning, that's what's important.
Today, though, he was being genuinely helpful for a while. He'd seen me trimming some bushes, and while I was finishing up K's decorative fence, he decided he wanted to trim. I showed him how he needed just to cut the branches that were extending above the sphere of the bush itself, and he seemed to be doing fine, so I went back to work.
Later, K pointed out that he'd cut a relatively large hole into the bush.
"It's an animal trap," he explained.
Turn Around
Dear Terrence,
What a turnaround you've had these last two weeks. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have believed it. (That's not quite true: I would have believed it because I've seen it happen before, but not often. Not often enough, for certain: such kids are certainly outliers.) For the year to date, your Class Dojo positive behavior percentage has been right around 45%, which means you're a negative influence on the class the majority of the time.
I'm not quite sure you realize the extent of your behavior. You couldn't go more than a minute or two without talking to someone -- and that's not hyperbole but probably an understatement if anything. You turned in absolutely nothing for most of the year. When I ran a missing assignment report for the year to date a few weeks ago, you were missing 45 assignments, to go along with your 45% percent, I guess. At that point, I couldn't have possibly given you more than 50 or 55 assignments, so that means you hadn't turned in 85-90% of your work. Your grade was abysmal as well.
Then two or three weeks ago, something happened. What exactly, I really don't know. Perhaps your mentor finally said something that really made an impact. Perhaps our counselor, who's been pushing you all year, finally said something that made an impact. I'm afraid it wasn't I who said something that made an impact because, I'm a little ashamed to admit, I had all but given up on you. You have to understand: I have 120 students. I can't expend all my energy on one at-risk kid, and there comes a time when I have to say to myself, "I can keep going after this kid, which hasn't worked for three-quarters of the year, or I can take that energy and apply it to that kid, who really has shown some growth." Finite resources and all. So it wasn't I, I'm afraid, but someone said or did something, and you've been a different person since then.
Last week, you turned in your article of the week and worked as hard as I'd ever seen you work. Sure, you didn't turn in one assignment, but you did turn in two. That's a vast improvement right there. Then there was that surprising Dojo percentage: 79%. I was shocked. You probably were, too.
Last weekend, I was wondering: "Will Terrence make it two weeks in a row or will things go back to normal?" Tuesday you approached me and said, "Mr. S, I left my article of the week at home, so I won't be able to work on it as my bell ringer." Wednesday, when you walked in the building and passed where I had hall duty, you waved your article at me: "Got it today!" You did your work; you set a good example. And that Dojo percentage? 90%. I like to frame things in reference to things you guys get, so I made the obvious parallel to basketball: "Think of that, Terrence: if you're shooting 90% from the field and I'm your coach, I'm going to make sure you get paid whatever you have to get paid to stay on our team, and I'm going to tell the rest of the players, 'Just carve out a little space for him and give him the ball. He'll do the rest.'" That smile was unforgettable: "I know, right!?"
The truth is, Terrence, it's not just in basketball that that 90% will get you whatever you dream of. Just about anywhere will work.
This week, it was an honor to have you in class. I can't say I've always felt that way, though. Here's hoping we both keep bring our A-game for the rest of the school year.
Impressed and still smiling,
Your Teacher
Optional
Dear Terrence,
When did a response to "Good morning" become optional? When did manners become a matter of personal preference?
For you, considering all that has passed between us, my behavior likely seems two-faced. You think, "Here he is trying to be all nice to me, and when I get to class, he's going to be on my back about everything." That's not an accurate interpretation of my behavior, though. You see, I won't deny a simple fact: despite the fact that your behavior often is the most irritating aspect of my entire day, despite the fact that your behavior disrupts the whole class, despite the fact that your behavior often descends into outright disrespect (never mind the fact that disruptive behavior is itself disrespectful) regardless of how politely I redirect you, and despite the fact that some of your behavior seems downright spiteful, I try to approach each day as if it were the first day you and I ever encountered each other. I try to give you the benefit of the doubt each and every day. In short, I try to start fresh daily.
It seems only fair. You are, after all, only a kid. Your personality and behaviors have not completely congealed, and there's always hope that you will mature during the school year and come out the other side a different kid. It does happen. And so I want to foster that possibility, however remote, in your behavior by starting anew every morning, and the simplest way I can do that is simply saying as cheerfully as I can muster without sounding false, "Good morning."
Ironically, this type of behavior extends even into the adult world. There have been plenty of times, in both my teaching career and in other jobs I've held, that I've come to work with a sore spot for some colleague or other. It's hard to leave it all behind, and sometimes that sore spot gets irritated just by seeing that person, and the last thing in the world I want to do is to be cheerful and polite. But that's part of the game. It's not being false or two-faced to hide those true feelings; it's called being professional. It's called being an adult, realizing that these little rituals like "Good morning" are just that, rituals that really mean nothing more than "I acknowledge your existence this morning." True, it is a shortened form of an older greeting, "I wish you a good morning." But even my worst enemies I wish a good morning: if things are going well for them, they're not likely to take anything out on me.
So let's try this again. I'll say "Good morning, Terrence," and you say, "Good morning, Mr. Scott." And we both know we've started our day off with each other on a positive note.
First practice is tomorrow morning.
Kindest regards,
Your Teacher
Rain Day
Snow days — those make sense here in South Carolina. Most municipalities don’t have the equipment to clear snow properly and effectively. Add to it the lack of general experience drivers here have with snow and it’s fairly obvious why everything shuts down. The snow starts falling in the morning on a school day, and everyone realizes it’s likely only a matter of time before the announcement. At our school, it’s usually something like this: “Teachers, please check your email.” And there we find the procedures we will follow for early dismissal.
Rain, though? I remember there was a kid in the apartment complex we lived in when I was in kindergarten whose mother would keep him home if it rained, but I thought that was a one-time thing, an exception.
Today, I found otherwise.
By the end of fifth period today, probably a third of the school had already gone home. Early dismissal. To be fair to parents, there was supposed to be a horrible storm passing through: flash flooding, potential tornadoes. Nothing to take lightly. But what ended up happening was so much less dramatic: a few parents began taking their kids out of school, and every other kid, realizing the possibility, texted home. Probably something like this: “Everyone else is going home. Come get me — please!” And soon, there were so many parents waiting to pick up their kids that instead of calling individual classrooms as with the standard procedure, general announcements echoed through the school.
“Will the following students please come to the office for early dismissal,” and then ten, twelve, fifteen names. Five minutes later, “Will the following students please come to the office for early dismissal,” and then ten, twelve, fifteen more names.
Later in the afternoon, an apologetic email from the principal: “I understand that very little teaching can take place due to the announcements,” it began. But what was to be done?
I sent a text to K during lunch: “L is going to be sad because she didn’t get early dismissal. Kids are leaving here in swarms.” Something along those lines. K texted back: “I’m at home with the Boy. He had early dismissal, too. We’re going for L soon.”
And so what do you do with an unexpectedly free afternoon, that rarest of all gifts?
There was a movie, of course. The latest from Netflix, another Studio Ghibli film, Pom Poko. (We as a family have grown to love those films. Not a bad one in the bunch.)
There was a bit of playing, of course. The Boy can find entertainment anywhere. Just add some cars and he’s set.
And K finally got some time to work on a project that’s been haunting us for years: pictures for our living room and kitchen. What to include? How to arrange them? What, sadly, to leave out?
Tomorrow, everything goes back to normal, but only for two days as we near Easter and spring break.
Early April Sunday
Spring Saturday
Spring Saturdays have their own rhythm for years now. Almost all Saturdays begin with an eight o’clock Skype chat with Babcia. They talk about family, friends, recent events, changes in our life, changes in her life — the little changes that can accumulate in a week or that pile up unmentioned for weeks. The only thing that’s changed is the instrument. At first, it was downstairs on the main computer. After a few years of that, it shifted upstairs to the laptop in the kitchen. These days it’s via K’s cell phone.
The Boy and I head out after breakfast. We’re building a small fence to hide a now-visible, now-empty area that was once held our buggy gas pack air system hidden by Leyland cypresses. Like always, the Boy wants to help, and like always, it’s less help than one might really want in order to call it help. Instead, I think of it as helping him — helping him grow, helping him learn the value of work, helping he learn how to use tools properly. I show him how to use the square and he’s off, scoring lines all over the four-by-four that will eventually be the final two posts of our fence.
Next, it’s time to dig the holes for the posts. Here, patience is the key. I take a shovelful of dirt out, and he follows suit with his little blue shovel. But here’s the thing: he has to have a shovelful that suits him. A dab of dirt at the tip is not acceptable, so he tries again and again, frustrated as the dirt slides off the end as he tries to pull the shovel out of the growing hole. Or later, he starts kicking dirt back into the hole.
But shortly after, he’s genuinely helpful: he holds the post for me to get some measurements and check alignment. He helps shovel the concrete around the posts and smooths it once it’s in. Of course, in between, there’s time to play.
And once it’s done and the other chores are behind us, we head down to the swing and hammock for some early-evening silliness.
It’s like so many other spring Saturdays. And ritual is always comforting.