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Month: February 2016

Learning

My job is about learning. It's about teaching, too, but the more I stand on this side of the desk, the more I realize that teaching is learning. It's not just the simple process -- as if it were so simple in truth -- of learning how to teach. There's that, certainly. I'm better this year than I was last year, I hope. I'm better this year than I was five years ago, I'm sure. I'm better this year than I was fifteen years ago, I know.

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It's not pedagogy and method that I have in mind, though. I've learned that learning is so much more than simply figuring out how to write a good paragraph, understanding how to do geometric proofs, seeing the logic of the scientific method. These things are all well and good -- and important. But they all serve as simple means to ends. We learn to write a good paragraph to be able to communicate better. We work on proofs to be able to construct a scaffold of surety around our knowledge -- to prove to ourselves what is is. (And to move on to higher and more challenging math.) We study the scientific method because it's the best way to find out things about the physical world.

All this knowledge helps us in our day to day functioning, but it does very little to help with our living. I'm not more at peace with myself because I can write a paragraph. I can't show compassion better because I can manage geometric proofs. I'm not more mature because I know the scientific process. My life can bump along just fine without this knowledge, and having this understanding is in now way insulation or protection against anything. I'm not a better person for this.

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I'm a better person when I connect with other people. I'm a better person when I understand that the most precious and instructive moments in life are those flashes when a couple of people connect in a real and meaningful way.

I teach my students how to make sense of Shakespeare (and, by proxy, many other challenging texts), and I show them how to organize a paragraph coherently, then how to string several paragraphs together in a logical order. Useful skills, but not life changing. Yet sometimes I get so wrapped up in the importance of those minutia (relatively speaking) that I miss the real teaching and learning opportunities. I forget that just because they're not learning just what I want in just the way I planned it than my students aren't learning. I forget that just because what they're doing for a particular session has nothing to do with English than they're not become better people. I forget that, at it's base, that's what all good teaching is about. There's the subject matter, true, but all the teachers we really remember taught us more than just their subject matter. In some rare cases, we can sometimes barely even remember what exactly they taught us about English or math or Spanish, but we remember what they taught us about life.

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Today, I had the privilege of taking about twenty of my students down the street to a community center than has a trice-weekly seniors program. The plan was simple. The plan didn't work as planned due to technical issues. And so from a certain point of view, it was a complete waste of time. It didn't do what I wanted it to do. The plan didn't behave properly. And in that mini-disaster, I learned once again -- my students taught me once again -- that there's more to teaching and learning than nouns and rays and Erlenmeyer flasks.

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Sometimes lessons just come along than can't be planned because the lessons themselves come simply from the messiness and unpredictability of life. Sometimes a room full of teens and seniors offers such individualized lessons that could never be planned, never be executed because life can often never really be planned. And that in itself is part of the lesson.

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In the afternoon, another lesson about learning: not all learning has any adults at all involved. The kids headed out for their quarterly (or is it more often? I can never remember) reward day, which consists basically of forty-five minutes of freedom outside. Some kids play basketball; some kids play soccer. Some kids walk around and gossip orally; some kids walk around and gossip electronically.

And some kids just do a little bit of everything. The lessons there? Countless, and completely unplanned.

Back at home, L asked K to help her with a traditional Polish dance that she'd like to use to try out for the school talent show later this year. Tryouts are coming soon, and the Girl is not quite sure what she's going to do. This is the first year she's eligible, so she's feeling a bit stressed about making a good impression. She'd noticed that all the Indian students in the past who'd done traditional dances made it to the show itself, so she reasoned that a Polish Highlander dance might stand a good chance.

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So K began working on it with her. I'm not quite sure how this is supposed to work because Polish Highlander dances are really not solos -- unless you're dancing a male part. This bit of information prompted a bit of begging from the Girl, so K showed a few male moves. And E decided he wanted to learn them all, male moves and female moves.

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Another unplanned lesson.

They're really all around us. The opportunities are endless. And the miracle of it all is that we really don't even have to be aware of it.

Priorities

The Boy woke up this morning already discussing the obstacle course we could create that day. "First I'll go to school. Then I'll come home. And when you come home from school, we'll build the obstacle course!" It was the highlight of his morning, this little future utopia that was only hours away.

When I arrived home, though, he was asleep. It happens some times -- he's about to outgrow that nap, but every now and then, he falls asleep. Perhaps it's when he and K are in the car line to pick up L. Maybe it's watching a little TV with L after she's done her homework. Perhaps it just a random "Mommy, I'm tired" situation. Whatever the cause today, he was asleep.

"Good," I thought. "Just enough time to have a bit of coffee and relax for a few moments." Just as the Boy looked forward to his afternoon obstacle course, I always look forward to that afternoon coffee. I put some water on and chatted with K about the day when suddenly from upstairs came an excited call: "Daddy!" That in itself was surprising: it's always K whom he calls for. Not today. "Daddy, we can build the obstacle course!"

I went up to his room and started negotiating. "Well, first we have to do a little cooking."

"Yeah, sure, sure!" he said. The Boy loves cooking, and I knew this wouldn't be a problem. The next item, though, might be a little troublesome.

"Also, I have a little school work to do. How about you watch a Might Machines episode while I drink my coffee and finish up my work?" I suggested.

"Okay. I love Might Machines." And who wouldn't?

After coffee and Machines, it was time for kieÅ‚basa. We had to cut up a link of sausage (read: I had to cut it up) and fry it. The Boy helped with the latter. He's our professional stirrer. If anything needs stirring, providing it's not spitting and bubbling too violently, he's the man for the job.

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It's sometimes more trouble than help: he hasn't mastered the gentle stir, and he tends to get a little excited and send various foods flying onto the cook top. Such was the case tonight.

"Daddy, some fell out." I'd pick up the sausage piece, toss it back in, and wait for the next one. "Daddy, some more fell out." One piece, two pieces. He tried putting it back in himself, but by the time he got the nerve up to try it, the sausage was quite hot.

Finally, we were all done.

"Obstacle course?!"

"Obstacle course."

"Hurrah!"

Up the stairs we went, discussing our options.

"I want one just like the one yesterday."

"I'm not sure I can make it like that again." I didn't mention the picture I had taken of it, nor the fact that I could in theory use the picture to recreate it almost perfectly. I wanted to try something else.

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"It's more of a maze than an obstacle course," L observed when she got home from dance classes.

It got me to thinking about two different metaphors for life: mazes and obstacle courses. Which would be a more optimistic view? And how much more optimistic? A maze seems almost hopelessly impossible when it's life-size and you're stuck in it, I would imagine. At least with an obstacle course, one can theoretically see the end. But in the end, they both seem just a touch too negative. For most of us, life isn't a game. Indeed, games and play in general, most child psychologists would argue, I think, are really only dress rehearsals for "real" life. Life is like a maze -- at times. It's like an obstacle course -- at times. And sometimes it's a couple of pieces of sausage tumbling from the frying pan.

Build and Destroy

"Daddy, let's play!" chirps the Boy with such excitement, such genuine joy and anticipation, that it's difficult to say "No." Sadly, I do have to say just that occasionally.

"I'm working in the yard," I explain, and then he responds, "Oh, I'll come help you."

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Another time: "I have to grade papers." That's really a misnomer because most of my students' work is now online, which means I'm sitting at a computer when "grading papers." And so comes the obvious: "Oh, I'll just sit on your lap while you work."

Every now and then, though, I'm able to beat him to the idea. Such was the case tonight. "E, let's play."

"Let's play!" came the response.

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So we headed up to his room, discussing our options as we went. Whatever else might be involved, cars are a prerequisite. Want to build something with Legos? Fine, as long as it's a device to work on cars. Want to create something with wooden blocks? Great, as long as it's a miasto -- a city for his cars to drive around.

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Today, though, I thought we might try something new: an obstacle course.

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The ladies, in the meantime, were downstairs, struggling through Polish lessons. It can be a challenge. Part of it is the simple fact that it's more schooling after a day of school. But more challenging, I think, is the Girl's reluctance to make mistakes. She flies through work at school, catching on quickly and mastering skills without much effort, it seems. "Math is boring now," she says. But Polish? It's not so easy. It's not mistake-free. And even though she has a linguistic master in the house, she hesitates.

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Once she got the work done, though, she came up to join us.

And then disaster struck: "E, it's time for a bath. Let's clean up." The fact that we could rebuild did nothing to comfort him. The fact that I promised we could rebuild tomorrow did nothing to soothe him. Now is now; tomorrow is unimaginable. "But Daddy," he sobbed, "I have to get up, and go to school, and then we can build it." I can understand that frustration. I experience it. I see it in my students. And I see how some of them deal with it. So when the Boy and I finished with the clean up, and he was still sniffing, I took him in my arms and said, "That was a very difficult thing to do. No one likes to do something they don't really want to do." Perhaps in destroying, we were able to build some character.

"Okay," he said. And by bath time, five minutes later, it was completely forgotten.