Sometimes I'm amazed at what the backyard offers.
Backyard Exotic
Month: April 2015
Change
It was bound to happen, because it happens to all children these days. L came home crying that her friends -- her best friends in her class -- were bullying her. I don't think she used that word: it was a label added afterward. The first moment K and I had alone when I came home that day, she said, "Well, some kids are bullying L at school." And while at first blush, it sounded like it might not necessarily be bullying (we're so quick to call everything "bullying" these days): some of the Girl's friends were chasing here around the playground, grabbing her, not letting her go. But with each new detail, it became more likely "bullying" was not a misapplied label in this case. The girls, it seems, had recently decided that, because L had wanted to play alone during recess for a couple of days, that they didn't want anything to do with her. They were ganging up on her, chasing her, and then holding her by force, squeezing her arm so that it caused pain, and doing it all despite L's requests not to, despite L saying that it hurt. What was worst was that she took her entire free time one day in class to write cards of apology to her three friends, the instigators, basically saying, "For whatever I've done to make you angry at me, I'm sorry." One girl ripped the card up in front of L while another took some makers and scribbled all over it. L was literally in tears as she told me, and she had been in tears earlier in the day when she told K.
So many questions running through K's and my conversations about this. Do we know that the Girl, normally a sweet girl but capable of mean streaks like everyone, didn't in fact antagonize a bit? Does she know, for that matter? At what point do we get the teacher involved? What do we tell the teacher? She didn't want to tattle on them, for she still hoped to salvage the friendship, but she realized she needed help.
The most pressing question, though, was, "What do we tell the Girl?" In the end, we suggested that she hang near the teachers when they go out to recess, and when the gang begins to approach, move as close to the teacher as possible, then when they try to chase her, don't move. "They can't chase you if you aren't moving, right?" And then when they begin the squeezing, the plan was to say loudly, "Stop -- that's hurting me." The plan was that the teacher would hopefully hear and intervene, and technically, the Girl still wouldn't have to tattle.
The next day, the debriefing: "We're friends again."
K and I smiled. It's still coming, but it just hasn't quite made it.
Sunday Afternoon with the Kids
Sunday afternoon. K needed some time to herself, not to relax, unfortunately, but to catch up on some work. So I took the kids for ice cream and to the park afterward.
We tried a new ice cream place -- new to us at least -- in a little town just beside us. The Boy wanted chocolate. Somehow he ended up with soft serve. Still, he was happy.
I wanted a small cone for L, but the flavor she wanted was only available, strangely enough, in a waffle cone, which was huge even in its smallest incarnation. Somehow, she was okay with that.
Before heading to the park, we wandered around the little downtown area for a while. L found her own little piece of paradise.
E found his shortly after.
Afterward, the park, and a bit of riding. The Girl was happy making circles on her bike; the Boy was thrilled making circles on his four-wheeler.
Until the Boy saw the train. And then began the begging, from both the Boy and the Girl. Sadly, the train only accepts payment in the form of cash or checks, and I had neither. In days past, that might have been more than problematic.
Today, nothing much: a little fussing, perhaps some whining, but generally, a simple explanation and it was back to the playground.
And more signs of growing: the Boy took a solid tumble but soon was showing off his wounds.
The afternoon slide into early evening. The Girl made new friends; the Boy played alone. The Girl joined the Boy, then rejoined her new friends.
The Boy did a little exploring.
Then we headed back home.
A fairly typical day in the park.
Backyard
The leaves are all out in the small forest we are lucky enough to call our backyard. They're still curled and small, but it's a sign that spring is finally here to stay. In theory. "We could still get some really cold weather, maybe even a freeze," says our neighbor. "It's happened." It might have happened, but it can't happen this year -- not this year. We're all too sick of the cold, the gray, the blah of winter in South Carolina, where it's never cold enough to make a real winter but just cold enough for a while to make it miserable.
But spring comes, and the leaves of the trees return our virtually complete privacy, and we spend all our time outside. Or as much as possible.
E, as we're rounding up watering pails for Mama, looks at me and says in all earnestness, "Daddy, I love being outside."
With our backyard, which includes a stream at the bottom of the property, and the fact that our neighbors don't mind if we use their backyard as well, it's no wonder:
we go exploring, throw rocks, sticks, and seed pods into the water, and hide in forts -- it's a true blessing that we have such a place for our children to play.
First, of course, there's always swinging. It's virtually non-negotiable.
E takes a few cars with him down to the swing -- everywhere, actually -- and he's able to entertain himself as L takes her turn in the too-small-swing.
We stay out until bath time, which is also when the sun now sets. As the days grow still longer, it will be more and more challenging to get the Boy into the house.
"But I want to play!" Now, at least, nature helps.
Playing Cars with the Boy
Quotes
Four quotes, three from the Boy, one from the Girl. Which one’s which?
- “I made two gasses and I didn’t say, ‘Excuse me.'”
- Adult: “Don’t even think about making a mess before dinner.”
Child: “Well, I’m thinkin’ about it.” - “Don’t poop this party!”
- “That’s a good plan, Mama!”
Helping
The Boy likes to help. He loves to help. Any time we do anything — sweeping, digging in the garden, pulling weeds — he wants to help. The question is whether this is a function of his personality, and thus something that will linger, or something that is a function of his age, something he might outgrow.
Perhaps a little of both, if we nurture it?
Field Trip
Easter 2015
A good party means no time for pictures -- except for Easter breakfast and the egg hunt.
Baskets 2015
It's been steadily growing each year, and not just because more and more Poles attach themselves to our ever-growing church community. This year, for instance, there was a story in the parish bulletin about the Polish tradition of the Holy Saturday blessing of the baskets, and as a result, attendance was at an all-time high.
