Matching Tracksuits

fun in fours

Month: May 2000

Excitement at Return

Sunday 07 May 2000

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but in two weeks I will be in Lipnica. Two weeks. I’ll actually be arriving in much less than two weeks. Still — last night I was thinking, “Two weeks and I’ll be back at Zurek.” A very comforting thought.

“I try to tell myself to hold on to these moments while they last.” As Adam says about chess, I’ve got to be “balls-to-the-wall” with this. I’ve got to be aggressive in seeing people — not wait for someone to invite me over for a visit, in other words. I’ve got to savor each and every moment — even the time taking the train from Warszawa to Kraków. In fact, I’m sort of looking forward to that more than anything else — my initial adjustment period, so to speak. Every time I’m on the orange line going to work, I look out and think, “This could just as easily be a train somewhere in Poland.” And I get a little tug of nostalgia. So now in the coming days I’ll get something similar, but a sort of nostalgia-in-advance.

I hope that my trip to Poland will help me adjust to being back in America. I don’t know if I’m being blindly, naively optimistic about this or not, but I really think that going back to Poland for just a little while will give me the necessary perspective to appreciate being back here. What I miss most about my life in Lipnica are the friendships. It’s not the apartment (though of course it would be nice to have such a place here); it’s not really the teaching (it’s more the interaction with students, not the act of teaching them when to use “a,” “an,” and “the”); it’s not the cold winters; it’s not even the thrill (which quickly wore away) of living in another country. It was the friendship — knowing that I had something to do on Saturday nights and, more importantly, someone to do it with; sitting at talking around an ognisko; smoking and drinking with Janusz while listening to our mutually small blues collection;' having an unplanned lunch with Mastelas on a Sunday afternoon.

So now I’m listening to Trzycie (sp?) Simfonia Góreckiego. It’s music that demands to be listened to — commands one’s attention — and it’s probably not the best music to be listening to while trying to type in my journal. Still, I’m in the mood to listening to something Polish, and this is the best I’ve got (without a doubt).

At some point I’ve got to start really planning what I want to do while I’m there. I don’t want to go and just let things happen. I’m afraid if I do that then I won’t get to do certain things I really want to do. Among them — a day in Kraków, perhaps with Kinga J. or Edyta; a day in Zakopane, definitely with Charles; a day of riding a bike around Lipnica, hopefully with Kinga M. when she gets back. I want to have some sort of idea of what my time there will be like.

Other than this exciting bit of news — and the accompanying news that I’m flying for less than $700, thanks to Michelle — nothing much has happened this week.

Oh, part of the motivation for going so soon: Kamil was drafted into the army! He leaves 4 July for a six-month stint. That means if I were to go for Charles’ wedding in September, I wouldn’t get to see Danuta or Kamil. I found out about this Monday, hence the suddenness of the trip.

I had to talk Kali into letting me get time off. At first she wasn’t keen on the idea, but I had a strong argument: we have two course developers starting — one tomorrow, one the next Monday. The first thing they’ll have t do is read all the chapters and start making some changes. I’ll have enough time for them to read the chapters and discuss them with me before I leave for about a week. During that week, hopefully, they’ll have time to make some changes, re-write stuff and so on, so that when I get back, there’ll be a pile of work for me to do — which certainly hasn’t been the case of late.

Another interesting development in the workplace: I had my evaluation this week and Kali feels I’m not making the most of my skills. What exactly did she mean? Well, she’d like to see me more involved in the tech side of things as something of a liason between the tech staff and the editors. An editor who knows a lot about the ins and outs of the software we’re using and things like that. She also wants me to design and implement some workshops for editors to help them make the most of Word. Several of them — including Kali — would like to learn how to make macros (as if it’s terribly difficult), and so I’ll be teaching again. And I won’t have to worry about not being prepared and such — I’ll be able to prepare this stuff while I’m at work. Part of my job will be to prepare for these workshops! What a novel concept!

Word Perfect or Word?

Monday 01 May 2000

This is a test — I’m going to keep my journal in Word just for the hell of it this month. I don’t know whether this is a wise thing or not — I’ve been keeping it in Word Perfect for such a long time and I’ve always been such a staunch opponent of Word. Of course, I do everything else in Word because of work, so I’m more accustomed to Word at this point than to WordPerfect. Perhaps I’ll end up converting this at some point. One thing that WordPerfect has over Word at this level is the ability to change keyboards. Of course I’m sure you can do it in Word as well, so . . .

Today was our first day at the new office in Medford. I can say one thing about it — corporate. It’s certainly not as homey as the office in Arlington, though the commute is about the same. And of course there’s all the cubicles. I don’t know if I’m so anti-cube as others, but it’s a drastic change from the other office. At the same time, I was in that little private office for such a long time that I really wasn’t part of the outer gang.

One thing that really struck me today was the hierarchy that has suddenly appeared. Well, not “suddenly appeared” — it’s always been there, it just wasn’t visible. Until today. For example, Adam now has a private office with very nice furniture and such — of course, it doesn’t have any windows whatsoever, and I guess that’s the trade. At any rate, what became obvious right away was that I am rather far down the rung, so to speak. As is Rob for that matter. I’m about as far down as you can get, I guess. I don’t really care — and I really expected nothing less — but it was startling to realize that suddenly today. A little disturbing as well. I’m just accustomed to seeing everyone around at the same time, and now it’s certainly not the case.

On the other hand, it’s interesting how much things have changed since I first arrived a few months ago. I remember Bob running around, Celina at Beth’s desk (I think?) and such — pastries and lots of empty space.

(The Word experiment lasted only a few minutes — I’ll just continue keeping it in WordPerfect for the foreseeable future.)

Today was a day of hierarchy — as I rode the 86 home, some police officers roared down the road and began directing traffic (though they didn’t block things off until we’d passed) so that, at some point, some person we’ve decided is important could pass through without waiting. Why shouldn’t they have to wait in traffic like the rest of us? “People will assassinate them!” Chhavi responded, and I suppose she has a point there — it is certainly a possibility. Still, it’s a little annoying that we’re sitting there waiting while this joker roars by without any interference.

One last thing about today’s adventures: just after I got on the bus (the 86) at Sullivan Station, someone else boarded — the woman with curly hair and a semi-flat, long nose that gets on across from the Harvard Stadium every day. I’d noticed that she doesn’t get off at the Harvard stop, but I’d no idea how far she went. Now I guess I know. Funny thing is, I seem to see her all the time. She was at Stop ‘n’ Shop a few weeks ago — she was with a bunch of folks, whom I assumed to be her roommates (though I could very well be wrong. So now I’m wondering if I see her again whether I should now talk to her. She’s drawn my gaze several times and I’d really like to see what kind of a person she is — in a way, part of it is simply that I’d like to know what kind of voice she has. Anyway, I think I’ll strike up a conversation if she’s waiting at the same time tomorrow — or any other day, I guess.

Another interesting happening today — I talked to Jill (the absolutely stunning sales woman) for a few minutes and actually felt as if she wasn’t just tolerating me. I often feel that she’s merely gritting her teeth and enduring any short conversation we might have. Today, however, was a different story. We had a very pleasant — albeit very shallow — chat. Of course I’m not really looking for more than that, but it was certainly a nice change.

God, this is like something I would have written in high school — perhaps about Christy Anderson. chaut. I guess it just shows that we don’t ever really outgrow certain things — insecurities remain no matter what.