After the reunion, we headed to Papa’s side of the family for conversation and rest. Everyone was curious by then about Polish reunions.

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“They don’t really exist,” K explained.

Why won’t they work? K proposed two simple reasons, both of them quite practical.

First, you can’t get a bunch of Poles together for a meal and have a pot luck. A huge, official gathering requires huge, official food, with proper place settings and a touch of elegance. Everyone would come dressed elegantly. Plastic forks, blue jeans, and cold fried chicken would absolutely, positively, under no circumstances, be permissible. And it would be purely self-inflicted inconvenience.

Second, there’s no way to get everyone there. Significant numbers of Poles still are without a car, and the prospect of carrying food (then again, see above) and family on a bus while everyone is dressed in their best — not a chance.

But reunions do exist: they’re just called “weddings” and “funerals.”