Listening to Duncan Sheik’s version of Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees,” a slow realization.

“When was I really listening to this song a lot?” I asked myself. Answer: in late 2002, the beginning of my fifth school year in Lipnica Wielka. “Those were good times,” I said to myself, almost audibly.

There was a time when listening to music I’d associated with Lipnica could send me into spirals of depression if I weren’t careful. I’d lived an idyllic life there during the first three years, and re-adjusting to the States was tough ” tough enough that I ended up going back and staying for another four years. But before I returned, before I made the decision to return, I lived in the past a lot.

Fast-forward to today. I realized that I no longer look back to those times in the same way, and the reason is simple. I’ve got the most amazing reason ever to look forward instead of backward: I’m going to be a father.