Je ne parle pas français bien. Je me rappelle très peu de ce que j’ai appris dans l’université. En fait, j’ai écrit ceci en anglais et je l’ai traduit aux poissons de Babel. Cela explique la bêtise de ce texte.

I don’t speak French well. I remember very little of what I learned in college. In fact, I wrote that in English and I translated it at Babel Fish. That explains the silliness of this text.

Not speaking French didn’t stop me from being a French teacher for the day today. Fortunately, I had two bocks of first year French and only one block of third year. Even more fortunately, the planning period fell between the third year and first year blocks, so I had plenty of time to do a bit of cramming.

Oh, for a real Babel Fish, though. Think of the problems that might solve instant intelligibility. Think of all the translators and comparative literature scholars out of work.

Teaching something while not being entirely sure that you’re teaching it correctly is a little like the Engine that Could I think this is right, I think this is right.

A few tips for those embarking on teaching a foreign language you barely remember:

  • When in doubt about translation, be honest “I don’t know.”
  • When in doubt about grammar, be honest “I don’t know.”
  • When in doubt about spelling, be honest “I don’t know.”
  • When in doubt about pronunciation, mumble.

And thank the maker for an assembly that cuts half an hour off your last lesson.